Another Me?

[Melp283]

During my EMDR session yesterday my brain made this connection that there is another me.
It's hard to explain..

It's like there is the one me that has no emotion whatsoever. This is the me that takes care of business. The me that holds down a full time job. The me that is there in stressful situations. The analytical problem solving me.

Then there is this other me. She keeps the emotions I don't want. I don't hardly feel them, even if I look for them. She stays behind this sturdy wall I've built. She never comes out.

I don't know what to think about this. I feel a little crazy even talking about it. Plus I think I freaked out my T a bit. Her demeanor changed for a while there until I told her that this other part doesn't come out.

I don't know what to think :(

 

[Intrepid]

I went through the same thing.

My therapist was a little skeptical at first, but I was very sure about what I was experiencing, and I stood up for myself. I have several of these protectors. They are each linked to specific traumas.

I have come to understand that these are not another separate me's, but each is a part of me that was forced through the trauma to be separate, or to cut off my feelings, thoughts and behaviors, in order to be safe.

In the last 4 years I have done a lot of work to re-integrate these parts. It's not a perfect integration, but at least I don't fight myself like I used to.

Try thinking of it this way. You are not crazy, even though you feel like you are. You are injured. EMDR and other therapies are there to help recognize, and heal, the injury.

 

[shimmerz]

Try looking at the thread Structural Dissociation Melp. It may help you understand a bit better. Some of us are talking about this very thing.....

 

[Born to Run]

I am sorry that your therapist freaked out, as it is the therapist who should be the one to make sense of this and not you alone at home. She should be able to put this into an understandable context for you. It is very common to have fragmented parts of yourself due to trauma. To become whole again it is the task to integrate these parts. These parts often contain the pain and keep them away from you. I had dozens of these fragmented child state parts. It is a way of coping, is normal and nothing to be afraid of. Is your therapist a trauma specialist? This is basic trauma knowledge.

 

[Melp283]

I don't know actually :( I live in a very small town, so we have what we can get :/
Thank you all for the guidance, this forum has the best people <3