Anxiety And Driving.

[Deleted member 12723]

I got a e-mail from my sister in law and she is having anxiety driving on the freeway too. She said it just started happening. That is what happened to me too. It just started and it got worse. But it is alot better now than it was. So I have to check about the thyroid and the EMDR and therapy. I don't want to go to therapy again. 9 years is a long time to be in therapy.

But it was what you said about being tormented and I am tormented. It has gone on long enough. I need to be more pro-active about what I am going to do about it.Writing about it has been very therapuetic. It has helped me to learn how to talk about it. I was'nt talking about it before. I was'nt reaching out for help.

I was just suffering in silence. Mabe I can get some results. If I have the EMDR for driving and it helps I will be very grateul. Anything that helps I will be very grateful for.

So using the positive self talk, I am choosing to drive on the freeway one day soon, to take my dog to the vet for her shots, and I will take myself to the clinic for a bloodtest to follow up on my psychiatrists tests.

I will turn on the radio and I will bring gum and sweets to cut the anxiety. I do not know when I am going to drive and this helps me because I do not get the dread of driving coming on to me. Thanks again for all of the help and support. It really has meant alot to me. It is good to be able to talk about it.

 

[Eleanor]

Hurrah gizmo! Tons of good stuff here. And I love your new avatar - what a lovely picture. I'm glad you are ok with local driving, that makes life much easier. Kind of odd to say it, but how cool that you SIL is going through the same thing, now neither of you are alone with it. AND you have identified an instance of desensitization to anxiety with the bill paying! Better and better!

I think a caregiver's support group is a great idea - it is a lot to deal with, and it seems to be a universally challenging thing to do. It is just so draining overall.

EMDR doesn't have to take very long - that's one of the nice things about it. And for "little" trauma's (HA! there's a concept:confused:) it can clear them pretty quickly. You might look into finding out if there is a local training program for EMDR - or if there are any outfits that do it "pro-bono" like universities or hospitals with mental health outreach. I'm not sure who the professional organization would be, but some internet research and some phone calls might turn something up. Since it is a technique - people have to practice to learn to use it, and they need to practice on people under supervision, so you might be able work something out.

It sure would be nice if all church groups were filled with healthy caring people. Some are, but unfortunately enough are not. And some are just evil. Yuck. Glad you got away from a particularly bad one. It is such a betrayal when we trust people and they harm us. SO so sorry this happened to you:(

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I found a caregivers support group, now all I have to do is sign up for it. I am looking forward to getting alot of help and support. Yes the bill paying is just a thing I do now. I am doing things my husband used to do. it is healthy for me to be doing these types of things. It increases my independence.

I am glad thatEMDR does'nt take very long.They do EMDR at my hmo. So it is a matter of getting a recommendation from my psychiatrist. I will wait for my appointment so I can discuss this with him.

Thanks for the empathy and validation on the spiritual abuse. It is good that I got away. I am too burned to try a church again. It was a branding experience for me. It is a berayal of trust. The denial is insidious. I confronted them and they were so sick and dysfunctional, they lauched a phone campaing against me. They love their gossip. it was a cult I think, i was in thereapy at the time. I survived it. But I am still recovering from it. i was going to do the Emdr on that time in my life. I have had alot of traumas.

Iwas desperately needy to find a support group. I came in after a girl had committed suicide in the churchl
Our issues were similar. Some people told me they could'nt go through that again. The pastor was against the therapy. He did a healing prayerand it turned into an exorcism. Then he gossiped about it. I felt so much shame.
and I was so ashamed, but it was'nt my idea. He wanted to do another exorcism and i said no. I withdrew my membership from that church. People were still inviting me to go back. I'm glad I moved away from that sick community. I am still tormented over that one. I was so naive, so gullible, so vulnerable and so needy for a support system. Story of my life.

Of course knowing what I learned things would have gone very differently. I did the best I could with what I knew at the time. It was evil. So I am hopeful with the EMDR I will have some success.

My sil will be a source of support on the driving anxiety. I am glad I don't have to drive anywhere real soon. I will have to drive next week to get more prescriptions. I think I will be ok. I will keep on trying and not give in or give up. Thank you for al of the validation and help and support. It really has helped.


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[Deleted member 12989]

Ugh, what that church did to you makes my skin crawl! What they did is repulsive and evil and...horrible! I have never seen a church like that, but I have heard some stories...I am so glad you are out of that situation, and I hope the wounds they inflicted on you will heal soon. I hope someday you can find a church that will love and support you. I definitely have.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

(((rebOrn)))
Thanks for the validation and support. You are lucky you haven't been exposed to this stuff. Thanks for the kind words. I would like to find a church that would love and support me. I'm glad you have. Thanks again.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am not being hard on myself today. I am not beating myself up. I am doing what I can to improve my situation. I will have to drive on Wed. I drove by the onramp today without the triggering thoughts. I used posiive self talk. It took alot of pressure off of me to not beat myself up. I am doing the best I can with where I am at and what I have to deal with.

I ran errands today and did not feel the dread of having to go out there and do them. I am having a good day. It really helps not to be hard on myself. It has made a huge difference.

Iwill do the best I can and I can't ask for anything more. I will take gum and sweets. I will play the radio.
I will not beat up on myself. I will not be hard on myself. I will give myself a break. I will do the onramp fine. I will drive fast. I will pass the slow trafffic instead of driving behind it.

Thanks for all of the help and support.

 

[just me here]

I am joining in late in this conversation, forgive me if I missed something as I skimmed over the previous 42 posts.

Anxirty barely describes my state when I am driving. The weird thing is I have at times loved driving, I did it for recreation and really liked hopping up motorcycles and the thrill of a good fast bike on a dry twisty bit of pavement.

Even after several traumatic accidents, and I mean several, I could still get behind the wheel or hop on a bike and enjoy it.

Sometime over the past 25 years I have become unable to feel anything but fear and hypervigilance on the road. During that time I worked as a volunteer EMT.

I live in an area that is mostly hiway, mostly 55 MPH limit, and mostly straight rural roads. We don't have near the number of accidents that a city fire department would respond to, but the ones we do have are generally hi speed and often head on collisions. I had to quit but I still pay attention to the accidents in my area through family members that serve on local police departments. I no longer respond, but I hear about the bad ones.

I cope by constantly being aware that there is a high probability I will have a safe trip, and reminding myself constantly that I am being aware of my surroundings and making decisions based on all I have learned about how accidents happen, that I know how to best react in dangerous situations.

Frankly, my experience has been that most "bad" drivers are just good drivers that haven't been in a bad accident yet. And I think anxiety behind the wheel is probably a good thing in that if you are aware of the dangers you are in a minority of drivers that are doing all they can to avoid an accident.

I have heard it so many times from too many accident victims-"How did this happen to me?" "I never thought I would ever be in this position" "why did I have to be the person that got in an accident?"

I cannot say this, ever. I could never be the victim wondering how this happened. Instead I say this every time I get in a car-"I could die today, right here in this car, I am going to do everything I can to keep it from happening. I know all my lights are working, I know my brakes are good and my tires are in good shape, I know I can anticipate the danger and react accordingly, and I know the odds are in my favor that I will return home safely."

And I drive the biggest truck chevy made when I bought it, it is bright white and huge. No one could ever say they didn't see me. And I put oversize mirrors on it and I use them. There just isn't much more I can do.....besides just stay home.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi Just Me here,
Thanks for taking the time to share and to respond.
I used to love driving. The anxiety has hit me this last year. It was way worse. Then I was doing better, but it is slowly going downhill again. I don't have to drive on Wed after all. I can hold off. I do ok in town driving, it is the freeway that gets to me. It is the onramps and the offramps. It is the high speeds. It is driving by big trucks.

I try to drive every day. I don't drive on the freeway every day. I only do that when I have to do something.

On the bad anxiety days, I drive slow in the slow lane and it is very hard to go behind the big trucks. I can relate to the fear and hypervigilance. I wish I did'nt have to drive on the freeway. The relief I feel when I get home safe is indescribable.

Does anything help you to feel better? I use alot of positive self talk and it works. I so want to get back to the way I used to be when I loved to drive. I hate this phobia.

I got alot of good suggestions. I keep on writing about my fear of driving. I am trying to get it out. I was'nt talking about it. i found it was helpful to keep this post going as a journal of sorts.

I learned that I am not alone. That this affects other people. I worry about getting into a car accident. I have been in 2 car accidents with me driving where no one got hurt. I was lucky. I was in 2 bad accidents where someone else was driving, and people got hurt.

I do not have anything in the way of triggers or trauma to account for the fear of driving on the freeways.
It is a free floating anxiety. It just comes over me and It grows from there. I am going to explore doingEMDR on the driving thing and see what happens. I need help. I need support so I have just used this post to keep on dealing with it. I wish you well. Keep on talking about it. It helps.

 

[just me here]

Actually, I found out I had PTSD when I had a very close call in traffic and spent the next 2 weeks with a headache from clenched jaw, anger every time I had to leave home and a total inability to be a passenger without just closing my eyes and tieing my stomache in knots.

After I told my Therapist about all of this, the clues were all in place and I was finally diagnosed with PTSD after years of ineffective treatments for depression.

fast forward 1 and a half years and I am doing much better with my driving and being a passenger in a car. I have been seeing a therapist at least twice a month since diagnosed, using EMDR and FINALLY some drugs aimed at just keeping my anger and frustration in check and leaving my seretonin reuptakers alone. And the really amazing thing- I have yet to talk to anyone about my traumatic accidents or the scenes I responded to as a volunteer EMT/firefighter, all we have dealt with has been my parents and family of origin.

I am a firm beleiver in complex PTSD, so many things happened that set me up for an inability to fully recover from my own accidents. I was a case of PTSD waiting to happen and the car and driving traumas were not only the catalyst that finally brought on the PTSD but also the final clue to my diagnosis.

You are not alone. There are lots of us, and there will be more of us. I really beleive that somewhere in our future as a society we will remember this time as an embarrassing period when we allowed carnage and drunken driving and an attitude of "don't ask me for tax money to improve hiway safety, I will never get in an accident" to exist and persist.

It really angers me to think that under current US law, if I commit a crime like drunken driving, even vehicular manslaughter or worse, as soon as I have finished a jail term or done a diversion program, I can buy a car, gasoline and alcohol on my way home, no questions asked.

Drunk drivers should be sentenced to driving purple and lime green zebra striped cars until they can show a solid ten years of sober driving. They should have to have a special permit to buy alcohol. Their drivers licenses should be bright pink and state clearly their record for any cop or bartender to see and act upon.

Someday we Americans will remember this time in our history as a time when we allowed the worst of our drunken drivers to share the roads with our families and friends, our grandparents and our neighbors and our own kids. It should emberass us to the same level as our acceptance of slavery, racism, the japanese internment, all of the other things that seemed OK at the time but in hindsight are unimaginable.

Meanwhile, lets be careful out there. And justifiably anxious and suffering symptoms of stress.

 

[Pale Warrior]

And let us not forget the idiots who think they can drive and text/call on their mobile phones.

A pox on them.

 

[purpledragonfly]

This is absolutely insane! I have horrible driving anxiety, that in no way I saw any connection to ptsd or anxiety symptoms. I have never heard of this happening to anyone else before with ptsd, so I assumed it had to do with something else. I'm sorry you suffer from driving anxiety as well, but thank you for making this post. You have no idea how much of an impact you just made on making me feel like I'm not alone, after years of essentially feeling like a pathetic person who can't even do something that everyone does in their daily lives. I'm only 21, but when I hear about 16 or 17 year old kids just getting their license and driving all over the place and on every highway I feel like an idiot. I almost feel like I never really learned how to drive, or that everyone else was taught something and got it immediately and I missed out. I'm in recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction, and have been in a car accident that lead to a lawsuit from driving high, as well as getting pulled over and arrested after a bad incident with my dealer; which I attributed to my driving anxiety before I thought that ptsd could be the case.

My driving anxiety has gotten better through exposure, but nothing too crazy that I have severe anxiety about before I get on the road. I had a tremendous fear of getting lost and feeling out of control, so having a GPS helps although I still don't venture somewhere that is too far or that I know will make me feel anxious. I try to give myself little driving projects, where I go somewhere that is somewhat unfamiliar but still doesn't require too many major highways or is too far away. After that, it feels extremely rewarding when you're able to get to that place (despite how hard you're shaking sometimes). It starts to build your confidence up. Sometimes I also turn on the radio (not too loud, it makes me jumpy) and sing along to a song or replace the words up about how silly and anxious I am, and it makes me laugh :p.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thanks for all of the responses. It helps to know that I am not alone in having anxiety while driving. I'm sorry you are going through it though.

Today I had to drive. It was the first time I have driven without the anxiety in a long time. I actually enjoyed the drive. I took my anxiety meds and I think they helped.

The road is a mess and needs to be repaired. I do not like driving fast speeds over a bumpy road. But even that did'nt phase me today.

Now why can't I do this all of the time. I am glad I had a good experience. I did'nt dread it. I have had 2 good experiences driving now. This will help me on the next time I have to drive. I had to drive to interesting turns I don't ususally take. But I did it.

It is good to know that I am not alone. I still wish I knew what the root cause is. How to vanquish this from mylife.

I haven't had to drive anymore than a half hour away. So it ends up being an hour of driviing. Today was great! To have success is a miracle. I did ok, I did more than ok, I did good, I did great. It was a wonderful feeling. I have something to builde on. It is good to have success. It gives me confidence. I will drive in town tommorow. I may go and get my hair cut and get a mocha frappe from McDonalds.

i make sure I drive everyday. It keeps me in the habit of it. It is exposure. I need to drive on the freeway more. When I do the EMDR I will be driving on the freeway more. I will get exposure. But today I had self condidence. I felt great. It was a pleasure to drive, just like it used to be. It happened again. I had the feeling before I drove that I was going to have a good time driving. I believe that the things we tell ourselves becomes a self fullfilling prophecy.

So I try to be as positive as I can. Idid my lab work today. So I will be ready for my follow up appointment with my psychiatrist. I will have to drive to that , I will have to drive to pick up prescriptions. I am doing better. It has been helping alot to write about it here and to get the responses that I hav e. I am not alone others are also dealing with this and doing it. How brave and couragous we all are. to be so full of dread and anxiety and yet do it and get safely home.

We are doing it. This is a miracle. Courage is being afraid and doing it anyway. HUGS to all fellow sufferers.