Anxiety And Driving.

[Deleted member 12723]

I have had anxiety for over a year now. I was on zannax, but not anymore. I get scared sometimes when I drive. I have to do all the driving, my husband is sick. Some days are better than others. I don't get it. I used to love to drive. I never had the anxiety. I miss the old me. But I get tense. I sweat. I feel every little bump in the road. Luckily, it is slowly improving.

I dread it when I have to drive for at least one half hour. One day I drove 100 miles, and I loved it. It reminded me of the old days.

Does anyone else have a hard time driving? What kinds of things help to calm and ground one in reality? I am so sick and tired of being anxious period. I wish it would go away and leave me alone.

This is a wonderful topic. I have alot to learn. The doc took me off the zannax because I told her that I was having a hard time driving. She did'nt want me to get into an accident and be on the zannax. Needless to say I have a new doc.

I am on somthing for anxiety, but I am only supposed to take it on the bad days.

I am going to have to drive for a half hour to go to the vet for my dog. I do not know what kind of day it will be. I have been trying to use positive self talk, with some success. I could use any kind of help for this problem.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I can have anxiety when driving.

I've managed to work out that fast speeds, big roads (motorways, dual-carriageways) or long views, are what cause it. And it is more pronounced when my anxiety is high anayway.

I avoid routes and will take the longer way round if necessary. If I know I have a long journey, I try to prepare myself for it, by going over positive arguments in my mind.

When I'm in the car, I put my favourite music on and sing. I think it helps with breathing as well as being a distraction. I always carry water in a sports bottle, so I can have a cold drink if I'm getting anxious. And also I have sweets. I think its a placebo, but when I'm beginning to panic, I feel light headed, and Ive convinced myself that sugar and cold water will bring me round a bit.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

MEADOWSWEET, thanks alot for the suggestions. I will have to give them a try. I have a hard time going on the on ramps. I try to breathe and to relax. I tell myself that I will be pleasantly surprised and that helps. I can't take another route, I have to drive on the freeways. I try to stay in the 2 left lanes. When the anxiety is really bad I stay in the slow lane and drive 60 mph. I visualize myself getting to my destination and getting home. And I always make it home. I am a good driver. I sure hate the anxiety, while driving. Thanks again for the suggestions. I hope they work for me.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I have to drive again next Monday. I do not know how I will feel. I drive in town during the week. I do ok. I have been having alot of anxiety lately.

I hate the anxiety. It is a lowgrade anxiety. It isn't a full fledged panic attack. It was alot worse. I remember being not anxious while driving. I hate this anxiety. I'm ranting now.

I'm so sick and fed up , tired of being affected by the anxiety. It is the fast speeds ad the onramp. I tell myself that I will be pleasantly surprised, and this often works. I try to visualize and imagine a better outcome. this helps, some. I have to take the dog to the vet. I will have to get on an onramp that is dificult to get on at times. So far I get into the lane ahead of time, so I do not have to stress about it I am out of my anxiety medication. I will have to drive to the pharmacy next week.

I wonder if the anxiety has been a problem because this is the 10th day of stopping smoking? It could be. Then it is a physical thing. I have 5 days before I drive. That gives me some time. I need to not worry about it. I need to relax. Ineed to breathe.

I hate and loathe the anxiety. I never know how I will feel from one day until the next. I am so tired of it. I know it will get better and I will have good days. I'm tired of dreading the anxiety. I do not want to manufacture it. I need somthing better to think about.

I have tried to post to other people thinking that it will help. I need to get my mind off of it. What I focus on increases. I need to focus on more positive things. I will be glad that I won't have to go to the vet after this visit. I will be glad when the following week comes and I get the anti-anxiety mediccation. I hate running out. But the doc only gives me a20 day supply. He doe'nt want me to take it evey day. It sure helps me tho. I do alright. I am a good driver.

I hope it is a good weather day/ I have been lucky, I have'nt had to drive in the winds or the rains yet this winter. I hav been very lucky. I will post here after I drive to report how it went. I hope somone understands how difficult it is for me. I hate being the one that has to do all of the driving. I need a break. I wish it did'nt all depend on me.
My husband is very sick. He has parkinson's and lewy body dementia. Everything depends on me. The stress of it all gets to me sometimes. I wish I did'nt have ptsd. I wish I felt normal. That would be lovely.

I have alot going on. I try to be gentle on myself, I try to take care of myself I try to be positive. I am having a bad day. I am grateful that I don't have to drive anymore today.. I already drove once. I did ok. It was in town driving.

What helps others with the anxiety. I will try the suggestions I got already.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am feeling better. I am not feeling the anxiety I was earlier. I swear I am having anxiety because I quit smoking. I am doing better. I am feeling ok. I am feeling normal. I amglad for that. I hope someone can relate because I really need help and support.

I have been posting. It has helped me to get out of my own head I think I blow the fear orf having anxiety out of proportion. I think I get out of present moment living. I get to horribize, and this adds to it.

But I really think it is the quitting smoking that is the source. I have been having cravings. It is my 10th day of quitting smoking. I thought I would be doing better by now.

 

[Meadowsweet]

Giving up smoking is bound to add to your anxiety for a little while. It took me a long long time and many attempts to give up smoking. And each time I gave in to the craving, I had to go through it all again. You are doing really great getting to 10 days and I think youre doing well dealing with your anxiety too.

its good to tell yourself that and reward yourself with a new cd or sitting with your feet up enjoying your favourite program. I think it can help to re-inforce the idea that relaxation and enjoyment can happen without a smoke.

 

[Eleanor]

Here is something that works for some people, (me) and you've already done the first step in a big way, by thinking about the anxiety as a "thing" that you wish would "leave you alone." The technique is to "watch" your anxiety. So 'you" are not the anxiety - you can just "hang out" with it. It is best to do the following sometime when you are NOT driving, so you can close your eyes and focus on the feelings in your body. The idea is to locate where in your body the anxiety is, and the to talk to the anxiety which is coming up and thank it for being there and trying to protect you. Really feel it, the particularities of the feeling and the shape of it. Examine it. Ask what it wants, and what it is concerned about. (Oddly, it will tell you nine times out of ten!) Take the concern seriously, and try to address it in a reasonable manner. Then tell the anxiety that you've taken its insight to heart, and that it can go away now. Oh, I forgot, then you have to ask if there is anything else.

If you've practiced this some at home, you should be able to do it in the car too.

I hate anxiety. So much so I've managed to train myself NEVER EVER to actually feel it. It is my least favorite emotion. My T says that we shouldn't hate our emotions, we should make friends with them. I am not really buying it - but it does help when I do this. Sigh. I kind of hate it when she is right. On the other hand that is what I am paying her for....

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Giving up smoking is bound to add to your anxiety for a little while. You are doing really great getting to 10 days and I think youre doing well dealing with your anxiety too.

Thank you for the help and support. I really needed it. The cravings are'nt so bad today. I really think I am going to do this one day at a time.

I appreciate the kind words. I really needed some support, on the smoking and the anxiety. I am doing better today.

I am glad you were there to encourage me to keep on trying and not to give up. Already I find myself forggetting about smoking. I am chewing alot of gum. That helps.

<Fixed quoting issue.>

 

[Deleted member 12723]

thank you for this exercise. Something practical that I can do and practice. I did the exercise. I need a break from driving, something that is not going to happen. I am afraid of the things I what if myself about.


I just accidentily deleted alot of what I was saying. I am trying to protect myself. But the anxiety is counter productive.

I really appreciate the help and the support. You gave me somehing I could do about it. NOT just be a victim of my emotions. I have time to practice this before I have to drive. Like I sai I am a good driver. I hate and loathe anxiety, and I'm weary of being its victim. I want to get over my phobia of driving. This stuff is not for sissies.

Thanks again for giving me some practical hands on things I could do to improve my situation.

 

[Eleanor]

((((((((gizmo)))))))) You are most welcome. I'm sorry the anxiety is so bad today. (Which would be day 12 of not smoking? WHOO HOO!!!!! Major Big Stuff!)

Another idea: petting animals is soothing to most people - lowers blood pressure and respiration - could you pet the dog while you drive? (In a strange twist on the "dog is my co=pilot" bumper sticker!:) ) (Depending on your dog. One of my dogs would be perfect for this as he likes to curl up in the front seat while I drive and lean his chin on my elbow - the other would be awful as he gets car sick:eek:.)

There is a Buddhist practice called "tong lin" where you breathe in whatever nasty emotion that is worrying you for yourself and everyone else who has experienced and is experiencing it in the world - and then breathe out whatever the anti-dote is. So you might breath in whatever color and texture anxiety is for you (hot heavy red for example) and breathe out whatever calm is (cool, light, blue) for everyone and yourself. It is usually an exercise used to cultivate compassion for ourselves and others, but might work here....

 

[Deleted member 12723]

((((Elenor))))
Thank you for all the good ideas. I am so desperate for advice and tips. I am discovering that my anxiety is an outgrown survival skill that has been trying to protect me, by providing me a way out of my discomort. It was a excuse to get out of doing things I did nt want to do. The good news is that I'm growing.

The bad news is that I'm stuck with an outdated survival skill that not only hurts me it works against me. I did the exercise suggested and this is the answer that I got.

My life has changed. It is not good to have the anxiety because I am it. I am the caregiver for my husband, he has parkinsons and lewy body dementia. I have to do everything now whethor I feel like it or not. I have no choice. I can't cancel appts etc like I used to. I have to go and do the things that are required.

My life has changed radically. I can't afford to have anxiety. It makes everything so much harder. I am supposed to be able to tell my anxiety to go away and it will go away. I hope it works. I am sure the anxiety is from quitting smoking. I am finding pockets of pain and memories today, I know it will pass. I am very much wanting not to deal with anxiety anymore. I am so sick of it. I hate and loathe anxiety.

I am glad it is not as bad as it was. It was really bad. I was a basket case before when I had to drive. I would fall apart on the drive. It isn't like that anymore. I am waiting for it to go away. I keep on hoping it will get better and better. I have alittle dog, she is a japanese chin. But she sits in the back seat. My husband sits in the shotgun seat. I know that would help. it was a good idea. Good idea about the breathing in and out. I will try it. Thanks again

 

[Eleanor]

What an awesome answer! WOW. Excellent work!!!!:tup: It spoke to you! So your bottom line is now there are things that you are the best person to do to take care of you and him, and your well intentioned anxiety circuit is getting in the way. So it is getting in the way of things that, on the whole, you DO ACTUALLY want to do (or would if they weren't so darned laden with anxiety!). Is that right? Anxiety, among being downright unpleasant, is also for me exhausting! Worst of both worlds if you know what I mean.:mad:

The "pockets" are good to find (if I'm understanding you correctly) according to my T and my experience. Every time I get a new one and have a cry or a fit or whatever and then integrate that bit back into me I get more "range" of action. For example - I used to get angry when H would be harsh with our 5 year old - and that wasn't helpful, because it would just trigger him more and escalate the whole thing. Just recently since getting to the root of some of my abandonment/non-attachment stuff, I am much more able to stay relatively calm, and manage him and her. WHEW. The trick is to recognize them, and take time (HA, I know) to process them. Also, as you move out of the nicotine withdrawal it should get a bunch better. In the meantime you could think of it as a kind of "boost" for cleaning out the emotional closets. (PollyAnna-ish, I know, but this is working for me these days. "Oh Boy, and new thing to cry about"!:confused: Although there is something kind of neat about recovering some four and five year old memories.)

Maybe some explanation about the "do actually want to do" point: There are always things we would rather not do as adults but do anyhow. (Example: I don't want to go to the grocery store... but then I'd have to eat the food in the house, so I guess I'd rather go get better food, than settle for what's here... so, all things considered I want to go.) In this non-violent communication course I did the teacher (a guy named Marshall Rosenberg - who appears to be a craggy Texan... not the little jewish guy I was expecting - sorry, ADD moment.) Anyway, he talks about the language we use for ourselves, specifically when we tell ourselves we "have to". This is coercive language. And when we use it on ourselves we are doing violence to ourselves (according to MR). He uses the example of when he was doing individual therapy that he "had to do...x, y and z" billing, I think was one thing he particularly loathed, and paperwork of various sorts. It got to him finally that he didn't "have to" do any of those things... but they were the price of being in the sort of private therapy practice that he was doing. If he really didn't want to do those things, he at least owed himself the honesty of being clear about the decisions he was making. At first, he found he was willing to do those things in order to keep treating these patients. Later, he found he liked it less and less, and so restricted his cases to people who were important enough for him to willingly "pay that price." And he found other ways of making a living that suited him much better. Anyway, paying attention to the "have to's" and really clarifying what decisions we are making is something I (and a bunch of students last semester actually) have found most helpful and enlightening. (It was way fun explaining to them that they didn't "have to" do their homework, and trying to help them uncover that they actually WANTED to do it! All but one really did want to do it. What an eye opener!)