Anxiety When Anyone Comes To My House

[Powder]

Even when I like the person and am okay with them coming to my house, I feel like part of me doesn't agree to it. Then, I get massive anxiety while they are visiting and can hardly sit still.

Even, after they go, I'm still a wreck! I feel completely out of myself, like someone turned me inside out!

I think this gets worse and worse as I know I will pay for it, if I have a visitor. Even talking on the phone is now making me phobic. I get physically ill for weeks, break out in rashes, etc.

I can go to work and I can initiate predictable contacts, but having people over to my house is just another thing that my wounded inner children are not okay with that are wreaking havoc with my functioning.

I keep thinking I want something, and am okay with it, only to have a massive panic attack when it is time to get it going. I want to sell my house, badly, but I cannot fathom having people in my house looking at it. Even having the realtor in has caused major issues. Even trying to talk about it to my spouse, I get my tongue freezing up and cannot talk.

 

[Kintsugi]

I hate hosting in my own home. I get so nervous that I once was in the middle of vigorously anxiety-cleaning the stove when my visitor arrived. I have actually despised hosting since I was a kid, but it's gotten worse after living independently in my own home.

 

[Friday]

* From someone who has moved every 6-24 months for over 20 years

I would suggest moving first, then selling, especially since having people over derails your life. If renting a little month to month place while you sell your house isn't possible, my alternative suggestion is to -as much as possible- sever your emotional attachment to your house. Make it just "a house" instead of "your home".

The upside to either, is that it makes homes easier to sell. Ideally, one wants to do this whenever one is selling their house. Prospective buyers need to be able to see themselves and their lives and loves in the home... And most people are incapable of doing that when it's clearly still someone else's home, instead of just someone else's house.

For #2... It requires renting a storage unit, as you'll need to move out generally who 2/3s of your stuff. Most of your furniture. All personal stuff (photos, art, and other things which give a place personality and character). All storage stuff (food & clothing stockpiles), etc. Essentially you want to make a place a blank canvass. Stripping it down to nothing, nada, zilch... Repainting... And then staging it with rental furniture is best. But if you're going to continue to live there to save money? Still best to clear everything out, second best to keep a few things.

The upside to either is also that the territoriality that most of us (humans) tend to display to greater or lesser degree erodes as we make it less "ours" in appearance and use... So you will most likely notice a great deal less anxiety of having people coming into "your" space, as it becomes less yours, and more just a place you're staying for awhile.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I hate having people in my home. When I live alone, I doubt I'll ever invite anyone over!