Anxiety When Reading About PTSD

[maria]

I get upset, maybe anxious (?), when I read information or posts about PTSD. Does anyone else have that problem?

maria

 

[NarcSis]

I still get upset seeing it portrayed on TV, I'd say its kinda like sharing in the fear the actor is portraying. Reading about PTSD used to make me uncomfortable, but I did it anyway because i wanted to understand why. If you're injury is still raw, you will feel anxious, or upset. I don't know what it is exactly, I just know that for me, it was almost a fear of accepting that I was relating to the things I was reading; a fear of being "one of them", having some label pasted on my head. I used to clench my jaw, tap my foot repeatedly or just get shakey in my stomach when i'd read about PTSD, I knew I could only read bits at a time. A book I have actually suggests this. "If reading the content makes you feel too overwhelmed, take a break, put it away, focus on grounding, safety and relaxation, then come back to it when you feel strong again." I guess its kind of like exposure therapy.

Don't push it too hard, you'll heal at the rate you are supposed to heal at, no one can tell you that you'll be healed in X amount of time, only you can know how you feel. Trust that it does eventually get better to deal with.

 

[kimmy]

Thanks , for your reply, I have had tons of therapy, I think I am just recycling "old stuff" OR worse, I am being triggered by these "supposed" proffessionals.
I had come forward to go to a PTSD rehab. Once I did a lengthy intake on the phone, I did not get to go to the rehab. My son did not have access to the money to pay for it I think?
So here I am trying to regain control over my PTSD that has been tripped!!
Worse, I have problems now I have never encountered before, unchartered waters. I finally after posting here TOLD the people at the hospital. I NEED them to examine my eyes and my ears, as there is some sort of damage to them. I told them I NEED someone who is very well versed in PTSD to see.
I have oozing from eyes and severe pain in them, two lumps that are finally shrinking after a month of them being there. Oozing from my ears and my wbc count apparently a month ago showed 2000 when the norm is 4500 or more.
I can handle my anxiety symptoms myself, I just want them TO LISTEN to me. My bp when sedated is 142/90 heart rate 98.
I have always had extremely low BP and very healthy vitals. I am a nurse for god sake!
So frustrated. sigh

 

[kimmy]

Reading here helps me. However, I am highly aware of myself and my PTSD and have alot of therapy under my belt. So for me being here makes me feel less frustrated and alone.
Also, in reading the information that Anthony so kindly has compiled and laid down for us here. I am learning new things about PTSD.
Thank goodness because , clearly, they know more today about it, than when I was healing.
Thank you for your comment, I will be more careful with what I type.

 

[Marlene]

Reading technical/medical things about PTSD don't really bother me much. In it's driest form, it's actually easier for me to deal with. When they have the stories about people, their traumas and their lives with PTSD...that's what gets to me and makes it really difficult to read more than a page at a time. Sometimes a paragraph at a time. It can shoot my anxiety straight up.

Lisa

 

[kimmy]

Not me, I have heard and seen it all. In 1991 I founded a group called survivors of foster care, that is my abusers, including my social worker she was evil. She must have some demon inner child lol. Anyhow, I have seen it all, including one of our memebers hang himself.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I can read the stuff that Anthony has complied about PTSD, and it doesn't bother me, but getting into the diaries is hard, so I tend to avoid, as much as possible.....

 

[Ronin]

I'd used to have that sort of anxiety. I've been thinking it, in my case, relates to not processed 'parts' of the diagnosis I need to work on more, though, the symptoms that need more careful attention and I'm not always fully conscious of them, hence not working on them.

It's helped me great lot to just read more on it and try to find what parts of 'perfectly clinical' and dry information sound very personal, and how it's shaping my reactions. It was also good to be able to discuss PTSD with other survivors, finding the tension lessens more as I got to know about people struggling with the very same things.

 

[maria]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I found Anthony's blog about symptoms getting worse and that's what's happening to me. I take medication (Prazosine) because I can't control my symptoms without it. I'm not really fond of the side effects so I try to take as little as possible. My shrink is okay with this. Right now my symptoms are overwhelming the medication.

The blog recommends taking time off from the board. Maybe that's what I should do.

The blog also talks about becoming desensitized. So far that hasn't happened for me in any situation. I get discouraged. My shrink seems to think that if the medication works I'm doing well. Not my definition of the "well" I want.

maria

 

[kimmy]

I can honeslty say that when I was taught yoga and meditation ONE ON ONE by a yoga instructor that is when I got the first most important tool to help me heal. With meditation and yogo one can BREATH through all PTSD stuff. What a lovely gift that was. I have used it all my life to help me heal. I use it to ground and reground myself. I used it as I walked through my pain. I am using it now to get off meds.

 

[Gloria]

Maria,
I am also new to this site also. I think this site is an absolute blessing. However, by reading all the informatoin on the site I have found myself immersed in my PTSD nightmare so I had to cut back on the time that I spend on this site until I get more adjusted to the exposure. The dry medical stuff doesn't affect me at all either. It's the stories that affect me. I was in trauma group therapy where we were allowed to speak only about what we were feeling but not anything specific and no details whatsoever. Sometimes we would get someone in our group who did not follow the rules and I saw the affect that it had on others. I think it's good that we face and expose ourselves to the PTSD facts so that we will become less sensitive to it.
Best of luck and welcome!
Gloria

 

[maria]

I'm having almost no anxiety today. :clap: I think I'm a little more confident about being able to talk about myself. Also I'm being careful not to read some of the stuff that might trigger me.

maria