Anybody else have a certain phrase/word that once they start repeating it in their head they panic?

[slytherin]

Idk if this is the case for anyone else but for me whenever I start thinking (in relation to myself) 'gross', 'disgusting', or 'rotten' it can quickly spiral out of control because it just keeps repeating in my mind and i'll have a breakdown. Same for 'He hurt/ruined me' or 'He's going to find me and hurt me again.' Like I may be down and it crosses my mind but soon it's gonna be the only thing on my mind and I just wonder if anyone else experiences this and if you do can you break yourself out of it?

 

[shimmerz]

Yes, it sure does. I have different phrases but the outcome is the same. A major meltdown if I don't catch them in time.

 

[Fadeaway]

Yup. Usually "stupid." It takes a lot of practice at catching yourself. Mindfulness really helps. I am getting better at catching myself and changing my inner voice, but I still do it at least once a month.

 

[ILoveLife]

Sometimes. Used to be a lot worse, it used to be every day now it's in phases that can last days or weeks then passes.. Things changed when my relationship with my recovery changed as well, entered a new stage of better handling my distresses. Not even close to perfect, but things did get better.

Hoping now with a new therapist things improve further.

Hang in there, I know it's horrible.

 

[Ronin]

Yep. More of them.

When I remember they're just words, not realities, I usually switch language on it and watch how my reaction shifts, for not the same associations to the word usually, but original context it was said in.

When I'm better, it's figuring out how to toss it at whoever said it first in my mind, and when it's possible, I try to run the word if not the event by someone else. People I still trust giving me a different way to look at that word usually gets me started on thinking of changing the cluster of associations.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

When I remember they're just words, not realities,

Words connected to past realities not the present moment. Like dog training Sit, Stay, Down, then release with praise.

 

[Punky143]

Yup. More so the parts do and they tell me I'm worthless, why do I ever think anything will change since it never does, and the remainder that I'm alone in this and no one will ever truly understand. All the time every day...

 

[dulcia]

I kinda end up talking shit to myself.

"Wow, dulcia, really?"
"Yeah that was not cute, dulcia."

Just kind of an extra harsh reaction. Sometimes I even say it out loud, and sometimes it's a little more harsh. Usually happens when I do something I think is stupid or if I'm reliving something that happened that day that was an awkward encounter or something I could have done better.

 

[The Albatross]

Forgot which book but there is an ACT exercise about this topic. One of mine that would make me go from zero to psycho was the word c*nt. By repetition the word can usually be normalized very quickly by doing a goal challenge to say the word for a set time limit as long as you can as fast as you can (I expect to over-ride the instinctual/hardwired mental/emotional response and keep you to the task part of the brain) until it becomes neutral/nonsensical/lost and the stress response/SUDS (subjective units of distress) number is lowered. It is repeated until hearing the word is neutral and the connection is broken.

However it seems to me that you are ruminating compulsively about thoughts and that is entirely another thing altogether. That would be CBT type techniques and arresting the depressive, inner critic cycle. Just an example: Stop Ruminating – Simple Steps You Can Take to Short-Circuit the Cycle of Depression