Anyone Attend Local Support Group Meetings?

[aka]

So I have been thinking of going to a local support group meeting to try to meet my New Years revolution. Which is to get out the house more often and to socialize more. I thought perhaps going to place where I don't have to pretend to be fine and happy would be a good start in becoming more social. But I have not started going for several reasons. One there is not trauma based support group around me that is free. Second the ones that are free are geared more toward mood disorders. Which is fine since I do have Major Depressive Disorder but I have my doubts that the philosophies would be helpful. Third The ones really close to where I live in town are faith based which could be a trigger for me since most of my trauma had to do with religious people. Fourth my therapist does not like the idea because she say it fosters the idea of the an "us" versus "them" mentality. She says she wants me to find some people with out mental illness problems to be friends with.

So my question to the forum does anyone go to a local support meeting like a faith-based one or an NAMI chapter? Does it help? Or do you thing it is waste of time and energy? Thanks for any replies.

 

[arfie]

I am not active at the moment, but I believe I have gained allot more benefit from peer support than pro therapy. My own experience with support groups is that the name of the group doesn't matter anywhere near as much as the chemistry between the members. Where and how that chemistry is going to come together remains one of life's greater mystery.

When I have been in your position, I show up whenever and wherever it is convenient for me. I scarcely even register the names of the groups. I just keep going until I find my healing chemistry. What we call the dysfunctions is secondary to the openness to healing.

Yes, It has helped me tremendously. At worst, it breaks my isolation. At best, healing happens.

 

[Jester]

I went to a non-faith support group for a while, but it was poorly administrated. Group members mistook the purpose of the group as personal therapy, and would monopolize the conversation. The administrators would let them. There are really great resources with NAMI, so I would suggest checking them out. I do think it's important to have friends who are (for lack of a better phrase) "well adjusted," but I also believe that if something works, do it. If it doesn't work, don't do it. So, if meeting with other people who have PTSD or mood disorders is your springboard into being more social, I'd say go for it. At the same time, I'd caution you against staying on that springboard. It's fine to have your support groups, but once you become comfortable with them, try finding social activities you could do with "well adjusted" people.

One thing I do is attend a writer's group every week. It's not related to mental illness, but my non-critique writer's group lets me be myself, and it "forces" me to socialize. I've found it to be better than any group therapy. There, I don't have to pour out my soul. I can write fiction, and no one's going to ask me, "where did that come from?" I can be as open or as closed about my personal life as I want to be. Writing is cathartic, even if it's fiction; whenever you write, you put a small piece of yourself into it, no matter what it is.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

No unfortunately because I know there are people out there with PTSD that could be friends and be there for one another. The closest group is in Omaha and that's a little too far away from me. I am considering making one for everyone to join, not just those who have it but for those whose family suffer from someone else's PTSD. I don't know HOW I'm going to do this but I think it would be a perfect idea.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Well I disagree with your therapist, and on this issue I'd say she doesn't know what she's talking about. That is, she has NO clue what its like to feel alone....as in, completely alone, the only person on the planet. Support groups aren't all about hating those who aren't mentally ill. They're not about creating an us vs them mentality. They are about SUPPORT, period! They allow you to feel OK with yourself and not alone. Someone without a mental disorder simply cannot offer the same level of understanding. Yes, a non-disordered person can offer support, but they will never understand on quite the same level.

I used to go to NAMI support groups. It was good in that it allowed me to not feel so alone. However, I was the only one with a trauma disorder and in that sense there was indeed a disconnect between me and everyone else. Of course this dynamic is going to be different for every support group, so you can't judge it unless you go to the group and try it out for yourself.

I understand your therapist wanting you to make non-disordered friends, and I think that is a good thing. But at the same time, going to a support group isn't just a social thing in that you're going to make friends. I became friendly with the people there, but they weren't my friends in that I had no contact with them outside of group. I had firm boundaries established and knew that group time was when I got support, and I didn't want to make good friends out of anyone there because I need healthy people in my life and can't risk being brought down by someone who has a lot of their own issues to deal with.

I say give it a try. You'll never know unless you go. And if you don't go, you'll always be left wondering if you rejected a possible source of support without even giving it a chance.

 

[Seasounds]

Good advice from other members! Follow your interests and your needs. Take things your own speed.

Since there are not free groups, I do not go to any PTSD groups. I do go to Alanon, weekly, which helps me socialize a bit. I have had bad therapy group experiences in the past.
It is a goal of mine to be more social, so I chip away at it.

But you bring up good questions, that are relevant for me, too:
1. How to make friends?
2. How to meet people with PTSD who are about as functional as I am-so that we are working on similar issues.
3. How to deal with therapists who encourage me to make friends, when, very truly, I am not at that developmental level, yet. I don't even know how to hang out with someone. So, I want to tell them to "back off". If they walked a mile in my shoes, they'd see that I've made an accomplishment by joining a community choir, and by, regularly, make eye contact with my grocery store clerks. :shy:
4. For me, it is also good to avoid charismatic types, due to related traumas..

 

[mamachick]

There are no ptsd meetings where I live. I started going to Adult Children of Alcoholics (some are not, but are from dysfunctional family). I am getting a lot out of the groups. There is a 12 step group too that I plan to join.

 

[aka]

So, if meeting with other people who have PTSD or mood disorders is your springboard into being more social, I'd say go for it. At the same time, I'd caution you against staying on that springboard. It's fine to have your support groups, but once you become comfortable with them, try finding social activities you could do with "well adjusted" people.

This good advice thanks Jester. Perhaps my therapist is concerned that I will stay in the "springboard" as you put it. Which I can see because I do have a tendency to avoid uncomfortable social situations. I have been also thinking of joining a photography club since I do like taking pictures.

Well I disagree with your therapist, and on this issue I'd say she doesn't know what she's talking about. That is, she has NO clue what its like to feel alone....as in, completely alone, the only person on the planet. Support groups aren't all about hating those who aren't mentally ill. They're not about creating an us vs them mentality. They are about SUPPORT, period! They allow you to feel OK with yourself and not alone. Someone without a mental disorder simply cannot offer the same level of understanding. Yes, a non-disordered person can offer support, but they will never understand on quite the same level.

Yeah I agree with you Solara. I not sure what to think of my therapist advice. Since I have found that people who have or have had a mental disorder or family of one tend to be more understanding then people that have not had any experience. My HR person at work has a son that battles with depression so she was very understand when I asked for some FMLA time. So my thought was I could go somewhere to get support, could be myself, and possible start gaining some needed self confidence to deal with other social interaction. I can see where some people may get an "Us" versus "them" mentally but I don't think that goes for everyone who goes to a support group.

But you bring up good questions, that are relevant for me, too:
1. How to make friends?
2. How to meet people with PTSD who are about as functional as I am-so that we are working on similar issues.
3. How to deal with therapists who encourage me to make friends, when, very truly, I am not at that developmental level, yet. I don't even know how to hang out with someone. So, I want to tell them to "back off". If they walked a mile in my shoes, they'd see that I've made an accomplishment by joining a community choir, and by, regularly, make eye contact with my grocery store clerks. :shy:
4. For me, it is also good to avoid charismatic types, due to related traumas..

Yeah my therapist is always pushing me to make friends as well but that requires actually meeting people outside of work which I cannot do right now. It is not that I am not a friendly person I get along with everyone at work and they seem to like me. It is I just don't seem to be able to be ok with turning a professional working relationship into a friendship. I get horrible social anxiety when this happens and make things unbearable. That and I don't understand and or don't pick up social cues which I hear is common with people that have ADHD.