Anyone Else Never Really Had Support In Their Life?

[Survivor2Thriver]

I feel my other option might be to write a book or a diary at least at first, but each time I have written anything in my 'rape diary' it has connected me so strongly to forgotten or suppressed emotions and horror, that it sends me spinning off into all kinds of flashbacks and unmanageable states. I am stunned by the force of it.

(((hugs)))

My story from birth onwards has been one of no support, from my parents onwards. I do have some good friends, though I have lost several along the way, but I have no capability at present for asking for help, practical or otherwise. I share some things with them, on some kind of superficial level, but I just feel I would push them away or bore them, and above all I don't want to be a burden.

(((HUGS)))

Learning to be vulnerable seems to be the only way to let other people in, but it terrifies me.

(((HUGS)))

 

[Echo]

@Survivor2Thriver - thanks so much for the hugs - I can feel them over the ether! xx

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

@ Echo..at least they knocked us out. The smelly salts they used still makes my skin raise. Bastards.

Hang in there....

 

[Echo]

@Survivor2Thriver - oh, yuk. Hugs back to you, too. x

 

[billie]

Totally relate to this post. I dont know where to begin to write how it has affaffected me.

 

[Teasel]

Me either billie, me either xxx

 

[Abstract]

I think I choose people that can only have superficial relationships. That probably says a lot about me. I have never told anyone about the PTSD and after having tried telling a couple of family members about depression and other mental health stuff I would be very cautious about who I told what.

Probably another reason I can't find the energy to socialise any more. Putting on a front takes too much energy and I am tired of doing so.

 

[Echo]

@Berlinda - what do you find does help? Does reading about other people's experiences in books or on the internet make a difference? If you like, make you feel you are less alone? Or have you find other ways of coping?

 

[Stanley Shi-Yume]

I think that we as PTSD sufferers would not be suffering as such, if we had ever had support and acceptance instead of significant emotional neglect. The neglect is the struggle.

That shame you described is our most primal instinct. We need the connection, we are wired for it.

Please please please read the gifts of imperfection. To care for yourself you have to be able to learn how to reach out towards others... how to show up and be seen

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I know that for me, personally, I felt a great deal of isolation from others after diagnosis simply by disclosing my PTSD, either verbally or due to symptoms showing. That is, they were the ones who shut me out of their lives. After awhile I just learned to do everything for myself and not need anyone else. Now I feel such blame from others from my inability to just let people in like a normal person would. It's like either way I can't win. A little off topic but it relates to Stanley's reply.

 

[Echo]

@Stanley Shi-Yume - your response is absolutely to the point. Very beautifully put.

 

[/Journey]

@keifer
I don't know your entire story. If I say something that isn't correct I am new to this and don't have all the information.

Years ago if you were to say I'm bipolar or I suffer from depression you were outcast. Now it is a non issue.

Unfortunately PTSD/C-PTSD are not to that point yet. For me it took 4 yrs before I could even say anything. When I opened up just a little that was the last time I'd see that person so I relate. This would always be followed by overwhelming anxiety from stirring up those buried memories.

Getting medication right is key. I read you were not getting help with that or anything else..try and find someone who can help you get the help you need. Think out of the box. Hey trust in your friend a little at a time. There is always light at the end of the end of the tunnel. You just can't see it yet due to all the twists and turns. Journey