Inner Critic Being Fueled By Situation With Ex - Please Help

[Rani G2]

I honestly cant say , I am still teaching myself. This is suppose activate your ability to love yourself(I dont like the word love though). But I will say it.

I use to be extremely self critical sometime back. Now, it has reduced. I find myself likable. It takes long practice and I fail and get back again.

 

[NatBird]

I honestly cant say , I am still teaching myself. This is suppose activate your ability to love yourse...

:)

 

[Deleted member 33052]

@Shankara Please forgive me if this isn't what you meant.

Nat, you need to be the adult you needed in your life. The one who would have told you that you're loveable, and valuable, and acceptable. That child is still waiting to hear those words. He needs to know that he is safe - that you will protect him from the ugliness around him. Even if it's simply telling him that you accept him just as he is, that's a great start.

My therapist convinced me to *take my little girl along* when I hike. I talk to her, show her the spots that she/I love, and remind her over and over that I love her and she is safe. This was hard for me because I'm highly skeptical of *woo*, but I tried it, and I loved it. I felt a sense of peace and rightness that I'd never experienced before.

Now, I try to keep her beside me all the time, to help her feel wanted and secure. :)

 

[NatBird]

@Shankara Please forgive me if this isn't what you meant.

Nat, you need to be t...

@Mal Content

That's how I took it but your version had smoother edges:)

I try that kind of thing but I find it so hard.
It's hard to know consistently what we like and we have such competing needs.
I think I find it hard because it brings up a deep sense of loneliness.

Yep, this road of becoming my own best friend...I'm not even so sure if I'm on it or just in the valley looking at it from a distance..:(

 

[Deleted member 33052]

You have to decide if you are standing on the road or in the valley. Either way, I believe your eyes are looking in the right direction, and your body is ready to start walking. :)

This is where superbetter might help you - to take those first small steps...

 

[NatBird]

You have to decide if you are standing on the road or in the valley. Either way, I believe your ey...

Hehe do you work for superbetter?;)

Thanks for your encouragement.

Perhaps I have distorted goggles today..

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I know. I push superbetter hard, but only because it's helped me. I have nothing whatsoever to do with the business or any advertising on it yet I sound like a zealot. I just really hate to know that people are suffering more than they should be.

This is embarrassing... :oops:

 

[Rani G2]

@Mal Content: I agree.

One of the most difficult things to do is to really give that what one needs from our own self. We waited so badly to receive that comfort from our parents, family whatever but never received? Can I convince myself that I am worth enough to get it from myself?

To go with another pattern is new and we are sceptical.

Shankara