Are These Flashbacks Or Something Else?

[lostforgottensoul]

For those that dont know, my mom whom is one of my two main abusers, died last Sat morning, 7/23 and my brother drop off few boxes of just sort of junk around my mom's trailer and last night I decided to empty a small one that had some bathroom stuff in it and I found 2 "fever scans"; an on the forehead thermometer and i started to have quick fast vivid flashes of when i was really young, of my mom taking my tempature. Are these flashbacks? They dont last long, a second or less, just very quick vivid flashes of younger, much younger years. I can only remember back to age 7 or 6, this is much younger. It hits me hard making me loose balance on my feet. My flashbacks usually last longer than that.

They are happening at other times too and most out of the blue. They also put my emotional state at a very young age too. So I almost act that age for a bit.

Are these flashbacks and how, in less than a second, can I ground myself? Does anyone else have these "flashes"? And what do you do that helps?

 

[joeylittle]

Honestly - the time to deal with the stuff in boxes is probably not right now.

Personally, I'd call it more of an intrusive thought than a flashback.

But the bottom line is - you just lost a parent, who was one of your primary abusers. It's a minefield. The loss alone is hard. Add PTSD and it's bound to be more than is worth taking on when your therapist is away.

Let the stuff sit.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Let the stuff sit.

Yeah I am. They are coming on their own anyway but its worse with the stuff.

Personally, I'd call it more of an intrusive thought than a flashback.

Intrusive memory? Only reason im thinking it could be something different is thoughts are usually narratives in your head. This is seeing her and the memory instead of whats in front of me. Its just super short.

I dont know. This entire thing is insanely confusing. Stuff is sitting though.

 

[joeylittle]

Intrusive thoughts (to me) are any kind of memory or image that rises up quickly, captures my attention, and then passes. So no, not necessarily linear or text-based. More like a memory burst. Often prompted by nothing that I am aware of, but they are much worse when I'm stressed.

I don't lose track of where I am, my mind just gets interrupted.

For me to consider something as a flashback, it's got to be more sustained than that. That's just how I think about them. But I think everyone's definition of what an intrusive thought is, vs a flashback, is likely to be very subjective.

 

[BlueOrange]

I define a 'flashback' as a 'sudden, intrusive memory'. It starts with a flash, and it takes you back. Sometimes, they're very brief, other times they're not brief at all.

I prefer the short ones. A few moments of disorientation is less disruptive than a more prolonged experience.

During that fraction of a second when they're kicking in, there's nothing that can be done. However, if you treat them gently, and train your mind to operate gently, then the next time they hit, they might be a bit more gentle. In a crisis, we are always on autopilot. In between crises, we can work on adjusting the autopilot.

 

[Sideways]

To me, flashbacks involve at least one of my 5 senses re-experiencing a traumatic moment as though it were really happening again here and now. Like, I can actually see my abuser in front of me, or I can feel his hand on my arm.

Intrusive thoughts and memories, to me, are more like recalling an event, often visually, in my mind's eye. Like if I look through a photo album, and I see a photo that reminds me of an event, and I can remember the event playing out inside my mind.

Both can be incredibly distressing. But I think if I were going through a box that contained items from my childhood, it would be anticipated that it might bring back memories of that time, and not necessarily traumatic memories, they could be good/bad/neutral.

Go easy on yourself. Take things slowly at a pace that you can cope with. If there's things/items that you really do want to look at now, rather than later, I think that's normal when someone has passed away. Part of the grieving process. But maybe involve your T in that process if it is something you want to do sooner rather than later. Like, if you have a box sitting in front of you that you really want to look through, perhaps take it to an appointment with your T so that you can deal with any strong emotions that might come up in a space where you're safe and have support.

Things must be incredibly difficult and confusing right now. Be gentle with yourself. This is a process that might not be one that you can navigate quickly or easily. Thoughts are with you beautiful warrior lady:)