Sara Welch
New Here
That is what I did.
-
We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
-
Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.
Are These Legitimate Triggers?
- Post starter Twila Little
- Start date
- Status
Friday
Sponsor
That's the reality many people here are facing. They were raped by their parents.
It's PTSD, we're not talking about Annoying Uncle Josef. We're talking baby raping, child abusing, wife/husband beating scum of the earth. As family.
My mother-in-law sells children to pedophiles. Do you think I invite her over for tea? Or worse -ever- grant her access to my kids? Because she's my son's "grandmother" does that mean he deserves to spend 5 years being filmed being raped as a toddler by hundreds of men? "Grandmother" is not a title that somehow absolves her of crimes against children. The only tea she'd ever get from me is hemlock, with an arsenic twist. She is absolutely, 100% NEVER allowed in my or my son's life. Full stop.
The "right" decision? Changes, depending on the people involved.
D
Deleted member 33052
@Twila Little. I had to cut ties with my family. I was unable to heal in that toxic environment. I knew it was the right decision for me when I discovered that for the first time in my life, I could breathe. Deep, clean breaths of liberation.
Good luck to you, Twila!
Good luck to you, Twila!
Jeffrey Visser
Bronze Member
exactly i totally understand its so horrible that stuff like this happens i cant imagine being in this situation... the most horrible scum in the world ofcourse you cut those people off interely...
You can report her to the FBI: Tips
If she does so via daycare or other childcare, you can report that to local law enforcement or the state licensing agency.
I'd have a hard time not accidentally running her over. :mad:
Friday
Sponsor
@Muse, she's been arrested dozens of times. She just turns evidence on the johns (although never the parents of the kids she's procuring from), or spends a month in the psych ward. She's never spent more than a week in jail. She's just got "poor pathetic little me" down so well, and plays the system against itself, so nothing ever sticks. She's part of the reason (as is her son, my ex) I cut absolutely zero slack for sob stories being justification for hurting others. I don't care how f*cking rough you life was or is, ain't a justification for hurting anyone.
A lot of people have already advised you, I'm just here to give you my experience.
I went no contact a little under a year ago. I talked to my therapist about it beforehand. I had my med dr saying the whole "but they're your family", while my therapist said no, you tried setting boundaries, explaining when things upset you, they don't listen. She also warned me that by cutting contact, even saying it's temporary to them, if I wait a year to contact them again be prepared for them to be angry with me.
I wrote a simple email to my mother and her sister saying I needed space and please don't contact me for the foreseeable future, I will block calls, etc. And I will contact them when I'm ready.
I have been very glad I did it. At first it is REALLY painful. I used to call my mom every other day, even just to talk. But I realized how much better I was without that. I got really angry, I didn't even realize how much more angry I was then till these past months without them. Especially this time of year. I spend Thanksgiving and Christmas dreading it. Stressed to the max, trying to come up with excuses to get out. Etc. I get to do what I want with my child, without someone criticizing or making me their slave for the first time in years, and it feels wonderful.
Now in my families case, they're emotionally abusive, but I always say not as bad as what some other people go through. I needed to cut ties because I couldn't heal with them. They were re-traumatizing me whenever I was with them or spoke to them. So I mainly cut off contact till I can firmly say no and not let their guilt trips and manipulation effect me. Otherwise, again, I wouldn't be able to heal. And it is heartbreaking. But the rewards far outweigh the risks.
As far as advice, I'd say talk to a therapist, a good friend, someone that isn't family about it. Go over WHY, and is there another solution. Maybe like some people said to lessen contact if that's possible for you. Many people say no contact is the last thing you try, but every situation is different. Take care of YOU. If they love you, truly, they'll likely be hurt, but understand. Also as far as you might need them, look at times they've been there for you, was it for YOU, or did they later hold it over your head that you owe them because of this, or did they only make things worse?
I do still speak to one aunt, and that's what she's like. She knows I don't go to holidays at her house because my dad is there and our last interaction he was aggressive. She completely understands, but says I'm always welcome if I do choose to go. That's "family".
Last thing, friends can be family. I have friends that have done more, and been there for me more than my family ever has. They know what my family is like, and do whatever they can for me and my son.
It's a tough decision for sure. Good luck and I hope you do what's right for you.
I went no contact a little under a year ago. I talked to my therapist about it beforehand. I had my med dr saying the whole "but they're your family", while my therapist said no, you tried setting boundaries, explaining when things upset you, they don't listen. She also warned me that by cutting contact, even saying it's temporary to them, if I wait a year to contact them again be prepared for them to be angry with me.
I wrote a simple email to my mother and her sister saying I needed space and please don't contact me for the foreseeable future, I will block calls, etc. And I will contact them when I'm ready.
I have been very glad I did it. At first it is REALLY painful. I used to call my mom every other day, even just to talk. But I realized how much better I was without that. I got really angry, I didn't even realize how much more angry I was then till these past months without them. Especially this time of year. I spend Thanksgiving and Christmas dreading it. Stressed to the max, trying to come up with excuses to get out. Etc. I get to do what I want with my child, without someone criticizing or making me their slave for the first time in years, and it feels wonderful.
Now in my families case, they're emotionally abusive, but I always say not as bad as what some other people go through. I needed to cut ties because I couldn't heal with them. They were re-traumatizing me whenever I was with them or spoke to them. So I mainly cut off contact till I can firmly say no and not let their guilt trips and manipulation effect me. Otherwise, again, I wouldn't be able to heal. And it is heartbreaking. But the rewards far outweigh the risks.
As far as advice, I'd say talk to a therapist, a good friend, someone that isn't family about it. Go over WHY, and is there another solution. Maybe like some people said to lessen contact if that's possible for you. Many people say no contact is the last thing you try, but every situation is different. Take care of YOU. If they love you, truly, they'll likely be hurt, but understand. Also as far as you might need them, look at times they've been there for you, was it for YOU, or did they later hold it over your head that you owe them because of this, or did they only make things worse?
I do still speak to one aunt, and that's what she's like. She knows I don't go to holidays at her house because my dad is there and our last interaction he was aggressive. She completely understands, but says I'm always welcome if I do choose to go. That's "family".
Last thing, friends can be family. I have friends that have done more, and been there for me more than my family ever has. They know what my family is like, and do whatever they can for me and my son.
It's a tough decision for sure. Good luck and I hope you do what's right for you.
- Post starter
- #46
Twila Little
New Here
You know what I often do feel like everything done is undermining to my emotional wellbeing. I will never trust my family greatly again and someone doesn't want to acknowledge the hurt they have cause, like you said their gestures will always be laced with emotional abuse.
- Post starter
- #47
Twila Little
New Here
Yes!!! I feel you!
- Post starter
- #48
Twila Little
New Here
That is f*cking horrible....I don't even know what to that. You are 100% right but why is this lady not in jail?
- Status
Similar posts
Donation drives
Trending content
-
-
What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?
- goingonhope
Comments: 34K -
-
-
-
