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Are You Missing Someone Right Now?

  • Post starter Post starter p-no
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the past three weeks have been difficult. I lost my Dad to cancer 5.5yrs ago and even though he was abusive when he was depressed he was really good the last 6 years of his life and became someone I could talk to and be comforted by. I always miss him but I miss him more now with the realization that the day my Dad died I lost my mother too. Being in the hospital and coming home and Mom telling me she couldn't handle being there for me emotionally anymore. So right now I miss my Mom the most even though we live together.
 
I miss my Daddy he passed away for 24 years this coming January 9th I miss my sister Becky and my brothers Billy and Kenlee. I do not miss my mother she is alive but I hate her. I miss my gradmas and my great grandma (Nanny)
 
What can I do when I do not feel safe anywhere even behind locked doors and windows? I want to learn to trust people but I am afraid of people I have never socialized. I have issues with being touched and stood behind of. I can not stand any kind of loud noise I am very caustiphobic I can not handle crowds of any size.
 
After posting in the thread about cutting family ties I'm kind of missing one of my sisters. She and I were a lot alike. I think she came out of the abuse and chaos worse off than I did; I tend to face stuff head-on and she tends to bottle things up. I hope she got some therapy and worked a lot of that stuff out. She was so pretty and creative.
 
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