Ashamed & Embarrassed By Diagnosis, Seeing Therapist Again

[Cerulean Synapse]

I felt sucker punched. I was completely shocked.

I almost have to laugh, I shared some things and he was so nonchalant at the time I assumed it was within "normal" tolerances. I just blabbed away and didn't think anything of it.

Now that I know what is "wrong" with me...why do I feel so ashamed? I don't know how I can even look at him again. I lied and canceled next appt, I don't know if I can even go back. I know I shouldn't feel like this but I do. I don't want my husband to know....anyone.

There is no need to feel ashamed, and whatever happened in your life, there's nothing you could have done to prevent what had happened. There is nothing wrong with you, other than you have had a lot happen in your life with no fault of your own. And it's getting harder and harder to deal with by yourself, so I'm guessing getting help from a professional is a good thing. I've had my share of bad therapists and shrinks, if you work on the issues that you are having the more likely you will be on your way to recovery.

I got to say, there are sometimes when I do not want to go to therapy, or go to my psychiatrist, just because I don't want to talk about my issues and sometimes I feel numb and ashamed of what happened. But then I realize that is why I need to go. It's been seven years in therapy and I have made a good recovery from where I was.

And for the record there is no such thing as normal. And if you have a good doctor he will know that. If there was there would be no mutations, and we would never have evolved into the human beings we are today.

 

[Whirlwind]

There is nothing wrong with you, other than you have had a lot happen in your life with no fault of your own.

And for the record there is no such thing as normal. And if you have a good doctor he will know that. If there was there would be no mutations, and we would never have evolved into the human beings we are today.

That was great. And the last speaks to the Sci-fi nerd in me.

Thank you. Its been a tough day.

Cheers, Whirlwind

 

[Jedethan]

I still struggle with shame and guilt too. My vulnerability, crying, shaking, based on what I witnessed. On top of this I felt gob smacked and denied the diagnosis because I had seen worse and there were many other soldiers who came back from overseas with severe physical injuries and deformities who warrant that type of diagnosis.. Not me. Hang in there physchologist, for a time only as I found it incredibly destabilizing, meds, and time and distance from the military is helping:)