Attachment Difficulties From Early Years Trauma Or Developmental Trauma

[Snowflake]

:hug: @Snowflake
Sits down next to you *sighs* because I so understand....

I wish you were really sitting next to me

 

[Rumors]

I wish I could do more than send peace and comfort @Snowflake. It is a cruel thing those bastards did to you... You are worthy of love and happiness.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

I wish you were really sitting next to me

Me too... Know my heart and spirit are there ...

 

[LynnM]

I'm in crisis mode according to my therapist. Growing up I had food, shelter and clothing but no parent to attach too. Fast forward to now. I'm 53 years old and my husband and I of 30 years have to walk away from home and plan to move to Arizona this Fall. My crisis is my husband is controlling and abusive and I'm scared to leave him and just as scared to move to Arizona. What do I do???? I'm terrified. He's been the only constant in my life.

 

[ladee]

@LynnM, so sorry this is a hard situation for you. I am going to suggest you start a thread of your own about this.. You will get a lot more support and suggestions if others see it... sending you gentle hugs if you accept.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Does anyone have the same attachment issues with yourself as you do with others

You hit the nail right on the head @CrowFeather. I most certainly have attachment issues with myself, fragmented as I am. I just never quite looked at it that way before. I appreciate the insight :)

 

[Deleted member 33880]

I just got very angry with my T yesterday. I told him I didn't even like him anymore. I told him that he wasn't even helping me anymore. And worse, I meant all of it 100%. It is like that part of me - the part that is little and hurting and so upset and distraught about him abandoning me, takes over completly and I just couldn't be any other way.
I am glad though that he didn't just say ' well let's just stop then'. He actually said ' I get a sense that I just have to hang on in there at the moment and that finishing therapy because you have these feelings is a bad idea.'

I guess he is right. It is my little child self that is raging. I didn't really get that for while but with 24 hrs to think about it - it is obvious really. But I just feel so angry and hurt and upset and left and dropped and anguished.
Does this make sense?

 

[minimo]

And are there NOW... but it always changes.. sometimes if I work my self half to death doing what we know...

I'm so glad I have found people just like, just when I thought I was crazy. I'm in the process of getting help after 47 years of suffering my partner found this site and I have to say all of everyone's feelings and input is of gr8 help to me thank you!!!! I'm in diar straights at the moment thank so much!!!!

 

[sun seeker]

I'm in crisis right now over just this: my therapist changing my appointment day. Small thing to throw a person into a tailspin, right? But it does. I've been unable to cope all day, sobbing, using benzoids to get some relief. It feels like I'm being abandoned and even more like I'll be abandoned if I say how I feel. Neither of these hold up to evidence, but it feels this way. I am devastated.

 

[watundah]

Ho boy. What a question.
I have held my T at bay and slowly, so slowly, let her in a little bit then step back and then again, but mostly, no. I am very quiet in session and chalk it up to avoidant attachment stuff. I want to talk more, and we even discussed this today, because I told her I wasn't sure of the value of me being there since I can't be chatty ( I can be chatty, just not about *me*) and that I worried that she gets bored and her job must be hard because she talks so much and plies me with questions. Thank god she does work hard, but I wish she didn't have to...I am so afraid of attaching but fact is, I already have...I wonder if she knows...:wtf:

 

[Deleted member 33880]

I'm in crisis right now over just this: my therapist changing my appointment day. Small thing to th...

This is what happens to me sun seeker. I just get so emotionally overloaded when any tiny hint of abandonment kicks in. I guess it is because as mammals we are programmed to be VERY TRIGGERED if abandoned - we would not have survived in the wild if we were literally abandoned when small (and remember all these feelings come from younger feeling parts of ourselves.)
I sympathise. I have no wisdom for how to tackle this. Except to tell your therapist this is what is going on. And keep telling - all of it as much as possible.

 

[Deleted member 33880]

Ho boy. What a question.
I have held my T at bay and slowly, so slowly, let her in a little bit then s...

Hi Watundah
I wonder what would happen if you said 'You are very important to me now. I think I have attached to you.' Any good therapist isn't thrown by this but will allow it to be a 'normal' topic for therapy.
Also, I find it hard to talk a lot. So I developed this technique where I write down what is going on, what is troubling me and I pretend no one else it going to see it ever so I am not inhibited nor do I censor myself. It is very cathartic. Then, I give it to my therapist, either in session, or by email.
It is like jumping off a cliff, very scary.
But it means we get to talk about stuff that really needs talking about.