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Avoidance - good info?

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Teasel

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So I missed my PTSD group session on avoidance and I'm so fed up with myself because it's the session I wanted to go to the most.

Anyone know of any good links that really explain it well? Or books? Or you tube videos? Or anything else? Or snippets of wisdom?

I feel my avoidance is well beyond just avoiding triggers, and has spread to huge areas of my life.

Am so upset with myself for missing this session, and am hoping to read up on it so I dont feel I've missed the most important part of my PTSD education group.

Thanks for any help with this
 
I rang everyday since last week and got no answer. I shall try again everyday this week. When I said about it in session they just nodded at me. They did do a brief recap - the kind where they say, can anyone remember what we did last session for the people who missed it? Then there's lots of silence, and maybe the odd sentence gets dragged out of someone.

I can tell a lot of my own issues are mixed in with my upset about this... and some low level terror of not getting better, and frustration and at self too.

Been reading up a bit about it, but am a bit of a mess.

Using tools to help self. Soothing smell, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, deep breathing, journaling grounding, had a good cry, drew this..

sketch-1547597625279.webp
 
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I look at all this kind of thing as self harm now and I know why I do it. I have gotten much better at forgiving myself because I already hurt myself once (through the avoidance or whatever) and beating myself up gets me a 2fer. I don't want seconds though. I've had enough. I do my best. I do what I can. If I don't, I don't.
 
Managed to get through on the phone today, but not to anyone that deals with my course, message left though.

And read quite a bit about avoidance and ACT and feel I understand it much better than I did.

Calmer today, but along with the idea of not avoiding emotions I've had a good sob.
 
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