Avoidance Of Trauma Therapy

[shell]

Up until now I have been really hesitant in commencing trauma therapy, but was convinced that it was needed to get better. I accepted that it was time, had committed to doing it.

However after only one session, in which I thought I coped OK, the following session it was suggested that maybe it was too traumatizing to discuss my past, and she was concerned I had only 6 more sessions left, and I'm OK with paying for a couple more. She knew how many sessions I had when we started.

From the discussion she said that she would have felt more traumatized discussing the abuse I discussed, so I not sure if she feels uncomfortable hearing about my past, or if she thinks I'm lying.
From reading this site, others have experienced far worse abuse than the incident I discussed.

We didn't do trauma therapy that session, so for me it was a wasted session. Now that I had committed to doing it, I'm really depressed, worried that I could still be feeling like this in another year, and be no closer to sorting the crap in my head out.

Do I bail and find another T, but this is the second one this year. The last one told me I need to accept feeling stressed about my past, and I wasn't ok with that idea. I'm really not good with confronting people. Is it true that some people shouldn't do trauma therapy?

 

[Lucycat]

IMHO your trauma is YOUR trauma. Makes no difference to compare it to others'.

It IS frustrating to feel therapy is going too slow. But I think you absolutely have to do the therapy if you want to move the crap out of your head. Yeah, its hard, its frustrating but I truly believe it is a journey worth undertaking.

 

[SimplyComplex]

I am wondering if you might be confused about her not wanting to be traumatized by your story. You can not do real trauma therapy in 6 sessions. The first many sessions (sometimes months) is mostly working on safety and coping skills so that you can begin to work on the trauma. If you arent as stable as possible, then you can't begin to take on trauma with out being further traumatized by your own reliving and retelling. It is a delicate balance...if you push too hard, too fast, you will reinjure yourself. A T can't really even begin to help you start until the safety and then coping skills are well in place.

What can you do to get more sessions? Would a different diagnosis (i.e. depression) get you more sessions?

Your trauma is your trauma...saying other people have it worse, is a form of denial.

 

[shell]

The first many sessions (sometimes months) is mostly working on safety and coping skills so that you can begin to work on the trauma. If you arent as stable as possible, then you can't begin to take on trauma with out being further traumatized by your own reliving and retelling. It is a delicate balance...if you push too hard, too fast, you will reinjure yourself. A T can't really even begin to help you start until the safety and then coping skills are well in place.

What can you do to get more sessions? Would a different diagnosis (i.e. depression) get you more sessions?

I've already had 12 (no trauma work) these are the extra 6 they give in special circumstances. I do have private health cover which would cover some of the extra sessions needed but I am not able to claim as she is not on their approved list. Perhaps I should just forget it. Thanks for you input.

 

[Sunrise]

From the discussion she said that she would have felt more traumatized discussing the abuse I discussed, so I not sure if she feels uncomfortable hearing about my past, or if she thinks I'm lying.
From reading this site, others have experienced far worse abuse than the incident I discussed.

We didn't do trauma therapy that session, so for me it was a wasted session. Now that I had committed to doing it, I'm really depressed, worried that I could still be feeling like this in another year, and be no closer to sorting the crap in my head out.

Do I bail and find another T, but this is the second one this year. The last one told me I need to accept feeling stressed about my past, and I wasn't ok with that idea. I'm really not good with confronting people. Is it true that some people shouldn't do trauma therapy?

Hi,
I am not very understanding when it comes to T's who are uncomfortable about hearing about a client's past. A basic everyday counsellor would need to have their own counselling work ( supervision) sorted pronto if they felt that way, but for a trauma therapist this is particularly not on. This is what they signed up for and you do not need any limiting. Quite the opposite. I don't know what your circumstances are but from the information you have given you are not in the right hands. You need to feel comfortable and safe in the knowledge you can share whatever is there, whatever happened to you. If you seek out another therapist, try to have a meeting with them to ''audition'' them to see if you can work with them.

Is it true that some people shouldn't do trauma therapy?

Do you mean client or therapist? If you mean should some people not receive trauma therapy, I would say if you have been damaged, you need healing, if you have a painful story, you need a (trained) listener and may I say, heart to heart, you truly deserve both.
Love to you,

 

[SimplyComplex]

I dont think you should forget it. I do think you should ask some questions and I think you should advocate for more sessions. What have you been doing for the first 12 sessions? Can you ask your therapist what the plans could be?

I do 1 session a week (wish it were 2!) and...well I have done about 60 and just now getting to the more significant traumas (I also have private insurance and they allow more sessions for different dx...PTSD doesn't get many but T was able to sort it out for me...soon I will be self pay and I am just going to have to make it happen). Its a long slow process. But you can get a lot out of 6 more sessions. But it might be true that doing direct trauma work would be too destabilizing to attend to now. Is your T a trauma specialist? When you started, what was the plan they discussed with you?

 

[shell]

What have you been doing for the first 12 sessions?

But it might be true that doing direct trauma work would be too destabilizing to attend to now. Is your T a trauma specialist? When you started, what was the plan they discussed with you?

In the first 5 sessions different T, the last 7 sessions I was working on sleep issues, and nausea and panic issues due to nightmares, as it was affecting driving and work, only sleeping 2-3hrs a night. Spent time sorting out stress with home situation and anger issues. 1 session on depression and anxiety issues. I am certainly in a much better place than before starting.

I thought I handled the first session pretty well, she noted stress in my voice when discussing my past, but I wasn't a blubbering mess. Its not like I was crying or anything. I gather it was more the content she thought was traumatizing, my previous T, when I outlined the incident very briefly said how violent it was. Maybe it was more than she was expecting? My problem is, even if I go back and say yes we will continue, am I going to modify everything I tell her because I'm worried, she won't like the content.

I had just got to the place where I really trusted her, which she had noted that I had real trust issues, and now it feels like she has undone some of the trust I placed in her.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi shell,

I agree about having coping mechanisms in place (first), but if you trust her why don't you feel comfortable trusting her appraisal of what to do (or not do)? It's ok to disagree (or talk with her) as to why she thinks so (if you do trust her).

 

[shell]

Hi shell,

I agree about having coping mechanisms in place (first), but if you trust her why don't you feel comfortable trusting her appraisal of what to do (or not do)? It's ok to disagree (or talk with her) as to why she thinks so (if you do trust her).

I guess I find it hard to accept that after 9 months of having this crap in my head, that I could still be in this position in another years time.

Having a young son I really owe it to him to get my act together and deal with it, after over 28 years of avoidance its still keeps coming back despite my best efforts to avoid it.

I've always known I had issues to deal with in the past, but now they have escalated to the extent that my immediate family life, work and social life is affected. She isn't suggesting putting more coping mechanisms in place, just not doing it at all. She is now suggesting we only address how my past has impacted me now, and avoid it altogether as she thinks it is too traumatizing.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think it would help to have a Therapist or even place to go or person to talk to wherein you feel you both are on the same page as to what you want to achieve.

I am sorry this is so difficult for you. :(

I feel your son still has a very loving and capable mother, as 28 years is a long time to have managed this, even if you of course would much rather have it resolved!

 

[Addy]

If you seek out another therapist, try to have a meeting with them to ''audition'' them to see if you can work with them.

I agree with Sunrise... most therapists are willing to have an initial consultation with you free of charge for you to ask questions and get a feel for whether you will be compatible. If the therapist doesn't offer this service, don't go to them. Since the number of your sessions are limited, it makes this "interview" process all the more important. The first session with my current T was free, and I'm so glad I found her. Worth the searching!

Anyway, you are not alone Shell... good therapy is hard to find. But do not give up on the process, or yourself. You deserve the healing! Best wishes!

 

[SimplyComplex]

but I wasn't a blubbering mess. Its not like I was crying or anything

I think that it is important to note people who are traumatized and have PTSD often are so removed from their trauma and the emotions from the trauma, that they often talk fairly calmly about it. In fact, I laughed like my entire set of traumas were funny until a big flashback came and reminded me how un funny it was. I imagine that she is looking at the depth of the impact on you, how likely jumping into it will destabilize you. Think of it, if she does all these sessions just to kick your feet out from under you on your way out the door, is she doing her job?

I had just got to the place where I really trusted her, which she had noted that I had real trust issues, and now it feels like she has undone some of the trust I placed in her.

Did she undo the trust you had or are you withdrawing the trust you had based on a miscommunication or a misunderstanding? Because to me, it sounds like she is making the best possible treatment plan for the limited sessions you have left. Maybe she failed to fully explain herself...but you can ask her to clarify.

So what are your options? It sounds like she has helped you quite a bit, despite the bump in the road. Have you talked to her about options to continue? Payment, sliding fee scales, less appointments with more homework? Have you discussed why you feel dealing with trauma is important?