Being Ignored

[Crow]

A health professional asked me to help her w a website. Her Web guy was retiring and she wanted to do her own simple site using a hosting company's templates. In my past life I was a developer and agreed to help. I had an episode about 8 years ago and lost my coding and piano playing skills but I can still figure things out with effort. Honestly I wanted to say no but there's this thing with medical professionals that I tend to always agree. So I've been procrastinating a bit and she's been busy with out of town training. But I've emailed her several times and no response. I've ended up designing different themes, videoing them and posting the videos to YouTube and emailing the link. With every new theme I lose all my work on the previous theme. I'll call her Monday but I absolutely cannot stand being ignored. It sends me into a dark angry place.

Guess I just needed to vent. If you have any suggestions I'm open to hearing them.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Is this a health professional you need, are working with or rely on?

Does it ever stink that when you change a theme, you lose your previous work!

I think after having done all the work that you have done already, it might be time to wrap it up, in a polite, congenial way. I doubt that she's ignoring you or deliberately making life difficult for you. With her traveling, and being a health professional, she's most likely swamped, overwhelmed, needs to set web designs aside while she's out of town, or catching up on her backlog of work.

I have a physician relative, and you could be describing her. She's good-hearted, but gets overwhelmed.

More, but gtg..if you can gracefully get out of this commitment, or just go ahead and give her the design you like best, maybe you can still have a good working relationship, and you can wrap up this stressful situation.
Good luck! I hope you can complete or end this project soon!
:hug:

 

[Friday]

Being ignored is a deliberate thing. It sounds as if she's unreachable at the moment, as you knew she would be? I don't see that as being ignored.

Meant in kindness... This sounds like you're doing it to yourself.

- You wanted to say no, but didn't.
- You're designing multiple themes which erases your old work, by your own choice.
- You know she's busy with an out of town training... But are still trying to contact her anyway.

Just sounds like you're increasingly angry at her, for your own choices. And instead of choosing something easy/better for yourself (like waiting until you've gotten a response to put more time & energy into this project) you're forging ahead... Getting more upset each step of the way.

My suggestion would be to stop :). If you need her input before moving forward? If she takes 6 months (gross exaggeration, I'm sure!) to get back to you, that's on her, not you.

 

[Crow]

Thanks guys. I hear you. I actually saw her for a med appt Wednesday but we keep non med discussions for another time and she was running a tad late. I'll call on Monday and discuss it with her. My initial emails were about making a time we could walk through the options so I wasn't replicating my work.

But thanks again for the reality check. Thus barter thing sounded good but I should have gone with my gut.

 

[Crow]

New strategy: I'm going to record the templates and send that to her prior to making changes. She can pick three she likes and I'll fully develop those. Thanks a bunch. I needed some perspective on this.

 

[Crow]

I did the short video of the six theme options, uploaded and sent the link. Each video has been viewed once so I think she's watched them. But no reply to my email. No phone call. In full disclosure this is my therapist that I'm doing the work for. I know boundaries and all. And I told het not quite a truth about a stock photo site subscription I renewed after she asked for the help saying I'd had it a while - honest but not quite truth. Last night I didn't sleep the anxiety got so bad. I see her tomorrow and I'm not spending my $3.50 a minute discussing her site but I'm thinking I might need to discuss my reactions? Or maybe I deal with these emotions on my own and not bring it up? Lord knows I have enough other crap to fill the time.

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