I don't necessarily feel better after crying. The parts are not working together and are all feeling different things or snippets of past memories, agitated all in all, overwhelmed. Etc: Trying to be more present during sessions but all that does is make us cry. It's not my t's fault, it's years and years of learned ineffective behaviors, we are just starting on the harder never been spoken stuff and my t is attentive, nice, the tone of her voices can be calming and empathetic.
It's trying to teach my parts that I'm in charge and they are making improvement but one step forward and 5 back.
I feel like I don't have a lot of time to devote to myself because I struggle to work full time, my daughter has practice or game with travel time and before I know it, the night is over. I don't know how I much longer I can put on this facade to protect myself from the terrible stigma around mental health. It exists everywhere and hospitalization in our state makes issues worse ( if a bed is available or sit in the ER for 2+ weeks waiting) never going to that place again. It's just so sad. Life can be deeply sad and isolative.
