General "biorhythm" Cycles Of Ptsd

[dayglo]

I thinking about somehow there is a cyclical component to my wife's PTSD. Yes, I mean monthly as well as maybe a two or three month cycle.

Is it just that once the pot "bubbles over", the amount of stress and stressors is at a minimum, and slowly builds and increases until the two months are up, or could it be somehow like Biorhythms?

I've talked to her and my therapist about somehow keeping track of this, but we haven't come up with any good metrics or things to measure and quantify. Has anyone else noticed any kind of regular pattern or is it just my wishful thinking that somehow I could understand and quantify things?

 

[Away From The Sun]

I think you are onto something. I am fairly calm and relaxed but when things/stress starts to accumulate, I become at risk of having a meltdown. If I am stressed out near the time of my period, the meltdown is almost guaranteed. However, if I don't have a meltdown near my period and just let the stress accumulate, I tend to have a meltdown every 2-3 months. Every once in awhile, I will be so stressed that my meltdowns will be more frequent.

The embarrassing part is that for the monthly/cyclical meltdowns, it's usually "the straw that broke the camel's back" type situations or I become fixated on something that I have no control over.

Since I found out that I have PTSD (a stress related disorder), I now am more aware of my stress levels, eating habits, sleep habits to cut down the number of meltdowns.

As much as you might want to help, it's mostly up to your wife to engage in self-care behaviors to help decrease meltdowns.

Also, looking up the "PTSD stress cup" might be useful.

 

[who am i kim]

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone there. I follow a similar pattern and have done for years. But no one will listen to me.

 

[rightkindofme]

I have long cycles (obviously you all wanted to know that about me) so I only bleed every 33-39 days. Around day 28 I start getting tense and angry and hostile. I spend the rest of the wait time with my shoulders up around my ears from tension. I am caustic, bitchy and aggressive. If you cross me then I might scream.

I haven't hit anyone in many years. I feel that is big progress. I try to spend a lot more time alone managing my stress through that period. (no pun intended). I cry a lot from feeling mean and hateful. I don't like myself when I'm that mean feeling. My husband says I have reduced my verbal aggression massively over the years. When we met I was absolutely verbally abusive. At this point I am snippy but apologetic. That's a good jump.

So yes, I absolutely support the idea of cyclical moods. :)

I actually watched this great TED talk about [DLMURL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vKRj9yV8pI"]loving your lady-parts[/DLMURL] (she wasn't consciously addressing PTSD) but she consciously addressing the idea that women have a cycle they should be following for pretty much everything in life. I'm fairly tempted by her book. If I buy it I will post a review. :)

 

[dayglo]

As much as you might want to help, it's mostly up to your wife to engage in self-care behaviors to help decrease meltdowns

I agree 100% -- but -- I saw this latest meltdown coming a few days ago. It's almost like I'm standing in the middle of a highway with no where to go or hide, with 18 wheelers bearing down on me in all lanes and it's just a matter of time before I get run over. Know it's going to happen. Know its going to be hurtful and ugly. But no matter what I do, I know I'm going to get squashed and raged out. Feel totally helpless.

And telling her nicely that she's beginning to overreact to things and getting stressed out is a stressor to her "You are trying to control me". "You are using this as an excuse to win every argument". *sigh*

 

[Away From The Sun]

And telling her nicely that she's beginning to overreact to things and getting stressed out is a stressor to her

Oh trust me... I hate when people try to tell me "you're overreacting" or "you're being hormonal" because I see it as being invalidated. Part of the problem is that I was stuffing all the stress down (every stress, hurt, worry, etc.) or it is a magnification of something that was actually bothering me (to some extent) so it seems like a whole big release when I have a meltdown.

I would get away and instead of saying "overreacting" (her reactions and emotions are valid but the "behavior" surrounding it is not appropriate or tolerable...it's a fine line), validate the emotions/reactions but not the actual behavior.

Also, you can track and mark the meltdowns on a calendar privately and take notes just so that your wife can see the pattern and the impact of the "cycle". For example, if you keep having to take your son and yourself out to a hotel cyclically, show her the frequency and when. She probably knows it to a certain extent but doesn't really realize the full impact.

 

[surviving_it_all]

Sometimes, my anxiety and depression is cyclical. The way you are guys are describing the situation it seems to just be menstruation.

 

[Hashi]

If you see a cyclical aspect, then that has the advantage of letting you know when it's likely to be less stressful and therefore a better time to have discussions about things.

I can understand wanting to raise this with her as you see it coming, but the worst time to point out to someone they're getting stressed is... when they're getting stressed. I think this is definitely a conversation to have in general terms when her stress is lower, see what she thinks and, as much as possible, leave any suggestions as to what to do about it to her.

 

[dayglo]

Sometimes, my anxiety and depression is cyclical. The way you are guys are describing the situation it seems to just be menstruation.

Yes, BUT I also said.....

Yes, I mean monthly as well as maybe a two or three month cycle.

So I was wondering if there was another cycle. Biorhythms (which I am not saying is true) says there is a 23-day "physical" cycle, a 28-day "emotional" cycle, and a 33-day "intellectual" cycle; imagine when the low-points of 2 or more of the cycles occur at the same time... They are at a minimum going to be a stressor... Or maybe there's a "stress cycle" as well... ?

 

[quaintpapercut]

dayglo, your really searching for answers and trying to figure things out. I do believe that the hormonal fluctuations that a women experience can definitely have an impact on our moods and ability to cope. But for me, its just one small piece of the overall picture of how I'm coping and managing my symptoms.

I've talked to her and my therapist about somehow keeping track of this, but we haven't come up with any good metrics or things to measure and quantify. Has anyone else noticed any kind of regular pattern or is it just my wishful thinking that somehow I could understand and quantify things?

A women can take her temperature every morning and also record other physical signs that will let her know where she is in her monthly cycle. There are a lot of helpful apps and programs online to help someone with this. I use fertility friend and after just a couple of months of consistent charting I now know where I am in my cycle just based on what my temperature is. There is also a book called taking charge of your fertility thats very informative.