ED Bizarro eating

[OKRADLAK]

Has the PTSD affected anyone's eating?

I am finding that just lately I cannot eat around people. Holed up in my room, I like to sit here and binge. I have not gained a lot of weight because I have to pace a lot, like move all the time. But it disturbs me that I am sitting here actually bingeing and can't stop, or so it feels. If I stop I get anxious.

SH*T . I do not need an eating disorder on top of the PTSD. My god, that would be too much.

 

[ronin47]

I don't know if I consider myself a binge eater, but I do use food to comfort myself. Ever since I started effective therapy and rediscovered my faith I've felt less of a need to eat in general, but lord knows the cravings certainly come back up when I go through bad spells. It's just not as bad as when I was a teenager. Good grief, I don't even want to think about how much I could stuff myself with in one sitting. I do remember one instance where my dad literally yelled "Stop eating!" Food is naturally calming.

The thing I alway suggest to people dealing particularly with anxiety is exercise. Create a playlist of upbeat, energetic songs, turn it on when you start to feel stressed, and do push ups and/or sit ups. Then of course there's always stretching. If you run a mile or do something strenuous you will definately get relaxed. Give it a try. If nothing else it will make you not feel so bad about that extra cupcake ;)

 

[James B.]

Hi OKRADLAK, there's a couple threads on eating disorders I think. One for sure, called "CPTSD And Bulimia?"

My feeling is that serious trauma can effect every aspect of the sufferers life, including food. My hunch is that - under high stress - when our mind/body system is the most acidic, we crave alkaline foods. These are the less sweet fruits: cantaloupe, watermelon etc. and maybe mango/papaya for the stomach. A person consuming liberal amounts of these super-healthy foods may "flesh out" from hydration, but doubt much increase in actual body fat.

Fun diet/health/food related web searches; alkalizing (for life) alkalize (or die) etc. Good luck with everything!

 

[OKRADLAK]

Thank you, Ronin and James!

Good tip, James. I actually squeeze a lemon into tea because I heard that helps. I do not understand the whole thing about Alk. but I heard lemons are good.

I don't know why the brain wants to eat all the time. When this first hit, I quit eating. Then I ate too much, then I just leveled out and now I am back to eating too much, but not gaining weight because it's all the foods like low cal. Like why would I even WANT to eat two pounds of carrots? Why would I even WANT to eat till I hurt??

Actually, I am wondering if it is self harm. I tell myself," Dumb b*tch......now you will suffer." Like I am making myself do it because it WILL hurt.

I am so twisted. I can't believe how sick my brain is. Thank god, new T in two days. YAY!!!

 

[Kb3]

Hi Okradlak, I certainly know what you mean about binge eating - I have done it for years and only recently have I stopped doing it as much. For me food, sugar particulary, chocolate if you want to be exactly precise, has been my main soother since I was a child. I used it to numb myself like an alcoholic uses liquor. I guess as a child it was all I had access to. I liked to be alone when I ate too, and would lie in a corner of my room between the wall and my bed, reading a book and stuffing my face with whatever I had plundered from the kitchen when I thought no one was watching.

I grew up like that, and it has stayed as my drug of choice. For some reason I have been able to stay only slightly overweight instead of obese, and there have been times that I have been normal weight. Looking this way is a fairly constant source of unhappiness for me though:(.

I have done all sorts of weight loss programs, and even went to OA meetings for a time, but nothing ever seemed to shift my dependence on sugary foods.

One thing that has also played havoc with my metabolism and appetite has been the various psychiatric drugs that I have taken for the last decade or so. The antipsychotics have been the worst, but I have had problems with virtually all of them. I am now down to a single, small dose of Seroquel for insomnia and have worked around the compulsive eating side effect by taking it just before bed and not allowing myself to eat ANYTHING after I take it, taking 3000 mgs of Metformin divided in half, and doing a hypnosis tape for weight loss. All of these actions have helped me lose about 15lbs and I have a normal BMI for the first time in seven years. You didn't say if you were taking anything that might cause binge eating, but I thought I would mention it just in case.

All in all though, I would have to say that in my case, binge eating has long been a source of comfort in an uncertain and often unkind world. We have to do something to look after ourselves!

I hope that your new therapy is helpful to you with this issue, and please be kind to yourself about it in the meantime:).

 

[James B.]

but not gaining weight because it's all the foods like low cal. Like why would I even WANT to eat two pounds of carrots?

Kinda sounds like a "mono-diet" ; carrots only. :whistling: Maybe you can shift the eating thing into a workout thing, and you VILL BE HUGE like AHHHNold. :D LOL - just kidding around. Good luck OKRADLAK!

 

[OKRADLAK]

Haha. James, I can see that! I do work out a lot! I think it's self soothing thing. I have been on and off meds and it seems that some meds actually helped it, but did not help me in other ways.

The brain is such a b*tch!! Tamper in one area and it just won't stop. The lungs don't do this.The heart does not freak if you do something nice for it. It does not rebel if you actually tr y to help it. But the brain??? NOOOOO.It resists all forms of aid. It wants to do what it wants to do. Stay up all night. Sit and crave french fries for HOURS. Bang itself up against a wall.......good lord. What is it with brains?

 

[James B.]

.......good lord. What is it with brains?

:D Well, some of them are bad, obviously...lol (ok, maybe bad joke, it's a risk, I'll take it, lol) :ninja:

Anyway, we may not have to worry about brains in their entirety (drum-roll) we may only need concern ourselves with the central nervous system. :sleep: It is made up of oils. OKRADLAK, did you know this...? Please put down the huge bar-ball and hit the keyboard - gimme 50 (words) lol :p

 

[Srain]

Good thread for me, not as in good but valid! My EDs are a way I "self comfort" and "self abuse" :speechless:...so freaking confusing!!

I don't know why the brain wants to eat all the time. When this first hit, I quit eating. Then I ate too much, then I just leveled out and now I am back to eating too much, but not gaining weight because it's all the foods like low cal. Like why would I even WANT to eat two pounds of carrots? Why would I even WANT to eat till I hurt??

I have been a "secret eater" so much due to my life style hat I never really had to paid much attention to it until my last marriage when he did something horrible to me and I just stopped eating for 3 days. On the 4th day he freaked out, he said he'd never seen anyone just not eat before, he was panicked. It snapped me out of it to realize what was happening...I was on automatic...hurting myself for something HE did without even realizing it.

Then the other day I ate two family sized dinners before I realized I was so full I got sick. My husband was seriously concerned, he hasn't been around to see me do that before, it was so embarrassing. I do this kind of thing ALL the time but usually nobody is around to see it :tdown:

I saw James' post, the apology to the body...I can't feel my body most of the time..I think I will bring this up to my tdoc as well...

peace and much comfort,
Rain

 

[OKRADLAK]

I hate that we do that, Srain.....someone hurts us and we hurt ourselves more. I do it to punish my stupid self. It's reallyb bad today. I holed myself up in my room and just binged and it felt good.

I did gain about 5 pounds since I started this. It's too bizarre. I wish it would stop. When I was little I used to puke and I do not want to do that again. Maybe it's these meds. Grrrrrrrr.........

James- 50 words? Hmmm:

"I think you mean 5.0"

LOL. How is that??

 

[Incendiu]

Well I have always been under or normal in weight untill I got Zyprexa and that I under that time lived with my boyfriend and his family... I was just below normal weight but lookt worse and they keept pushing me to eat more. I ate as a normal person but as I was almost like a ting...more than human that year I had that medication and my bf started to eat more unhealty I gained more than dubble of what I weight before the med. I still have the craving...and my bf still eat alot of fastfood and candy...he have gained almost nothing. I have now lost over half of what I want to lose in weight...I started two years ago...the last year and a half have been good and I think it have a lot to do with that I got seroquel. But I still binge in differnt situations...and only when I am alone. BUt it is getting better...but I also notice that I get the sickness I had before I took med when I make dinner ore eat with other people around. This time I am aware of it and try to fight the feeling and not let it control me.

I dont know if this have with PTSD... Or something else. But I notice that I easely can end up in eatingdissorders. I have been almost anorektic deffinitly stuffing that almost turned to bulimia and I still feel I have a risk to fall in to. So I take it easy on my road to lose weight.

 

[OKRADLAK]

((((Incendiu))))) Meds sure can cause it. Zyprexa is one of the worst. I had a Dr prescribe it, and thank god I could not take it! It was one that really was bad for me.

I am so glad you are getting control of it. I hope that one day I can say I am getting a hold of it. But it's one good day and three bad days. Then two good days and then another bad and then total eating disorder behavior to get it in control (not eating).

I thought I did not have an ED but I looked and I think I do. PTSD is such a bi*ch. It's not happy just leaving us with PTSD. NO.....it has to go and cause all sorts of other troubles.

I am about sick of it-----New T tomorrow.