Blackout/dissociation Then Car Crash

[vob]

Hi guys.

Firstly, sorry if I'm posting in the wrong place - I'm quite new here!

I've suffered from PTSD all my life due to childhood sexual abuse, and I've had a few 'freakouts' in the past, with dissociations and the works.

Recently, I had a very bad week and the stress was completely killing me. Then I got this job I applied for! Wow, something good, finally! However, that day at my current job, around 2pm I started panicking for some reason and I only have 4 memories from that point onwards.

They remind me of looking at photos of some big parade, but you only see 4 random photos, nothing to do with the parade itself.

One memory, I was looking at my car on a dirt road when I was in it. Another, I saw a friend. Then the next one I'm waking up in my car trying the ignition wondering why it's not working. My next memory is an ambulance. It's like I fast-forwarded on my DVD player.

My problem is this, during this period I drunk alcohol. When I woke up in hospital the next morning they told me I wasn't over the limit and I was quite relieved. Then the emergency psychiatrist told me the same.

Just two days ago I received a letter from the (New Zealand) Police telling me that I was, in fact, over the limit and I'm supposed to appear in court soon. Since then my life has taken a really massive dive. I haven't left the house, I haven't eaten, I can barely drink or sleep. I keep crying, and I just want everything to end. I hate it all.

To make matters worse, at the time I was on Clonazepam (2mg), which my doctor had prescribed to me before and caused a blackout. I should have looked closer at what medication it was :(

I am so lost, and I have no idea what to do. Last month, the first therapist that I've gotten on with and had been talking to for a year just upped an left to Australia, so I've had nobody to talk to either. Probably why things got so bad in the end.

Does anybody have any advice for me on how to proceed? I don't think I've ever been so confused and lost before.

Thanks,
vob

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Maybe someone from New Zealand can reply with more knowledge about your situation.

Clonazepam is a strong drug, and 2mg is a hefty dose. Do drugs in your country not come with warning labels and accompanying info? Benzos are not to be taken along with alcohol. Given that Clonazepam has a long half life, it takes weeks for even a single dose to completely leave your system.

My advice? Find a new therapist. Find a good lawyer. Keep posting here for support while you need it.

Oh, and just out of curiosity, did your dr start you at 2mg? With Benzos, it's best to start low until you find your effective dose. If 2mg is causing blackouts, the dose is too high. I can't take Clonazepam, rather do much better on Ativan, but prefer valium. Have you tried different drugs in this class before?

 

[SimplyComplex]

I agree, find a therapist, a lawyer and get moving on this. This is your life, you need to get active here.

Are they saying you were over the blood alcohol limit, or that you were driving impaired? I think in most places in the US, you would be charged with driving under the influence, for taking the medication, mixing it with alcohol and then driving. We also don't allow for a drug/alcohol induced black out as a defense for the actions done in the black out. Ya know? So, depending on the laws, there is a lot of work to be done. But life isn't over. Was anyone hurt? I am sure it is very scary, not knowing what you are facing. But a lawyer will help take some of the mystery away from it.