Body Memories - What Helps?

[ellienad]

I've recently been dealing with what I'm assuming are body memories. It's as if I can feel the abuse happening again, and the memory replays over in my mind. The entire lower half of my body will completely tense up and I completely won't be able to move whatsoever.

I just started talking to my therapist about this, but we're taking things slowly as I have a very hard time discussing any of it.

I've found that doing light exercise/stretching helps disperse things a bit and does help a little (once the memory passes and I can move again). But I'm wondering what else I can do? My first thought was that some form of yoga and/pilates might help, but I don't know if that would be too much. I do pilates currently and feel very safe and comfortable with my instructor, and she also knows about my past, so I could possibly bring it up to her...

 

[shandemonium]

I am working with a person right now who does something called "mind/body centering" or something to that effect.

He is very good and the idea is that your body holds traumatic memories too.

I am having a really hard time finding a therapist and starting to believe they just can't help me. The only stuff that ever made me feel better was not "clinical" but from healers and shamans. The body work is very helpful too.

I have no idea how you would find a person like this, but maybe ask your therapist. If you've got a good one, he/she should be supportive about whatever other methods you want to try and might even know someone.

On my very first session with this man and he found every health problem I have ever had and also knew what caused them. For example, my knee was holding on to the abuse I experienced as a child bc as he put it, the knee wanted to help me escape. He knew about my sexual trauma from my left hip, he knew about my anger from my kidneys, and panic attacks from something in my shoulders.
I know it sounds weird but I thought giving examples would make it more clear than some vague "woo woo" description.

I can't find a therapist and feel lost and hopeless in that regard. I have resorted to all "alternative" since therapy never really helped me to begin with and I can't even find one now who is nice to me and not a greedy-money-grubbing-heartless wretch of a human. But I live in the Bay Area where people like that are in the majority it seems.

Anyways blah blah blah.. I hope the body thing was at least a little helpful to you! I am sending love and support

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I have body memories a lot. My therapist tells me to repeat to myself that "it is not happening now" and the date (August 26, 2014). She also encourages me to not be afraid of the feelings, but I haven't figured that one out yet. Actually I haven't been able to successfully do any of those things, but when my therapist says "it's not happening now", it can help calm me. I just haven't remembered on my own yet. So perhaps these suggestions will work for you given time as I hope they will for me.

 

[shimmerz]

\i have body memories a ton. They are anything from doubling over as if I am being punched in the stomach to completely freezing for hours or days at a time (hours more now). I work with healers and shamans as well as I have found that conventional medicine doesn't necessarily understand this. Peter Levine does some really great work with body memories. I would recommend his work.

For myself, I have found that putting my hand on my wrist and trying to regulate my pulse and synchronizing it with my breathing has helped tremendously. It gets me into my body. Brings me back to mindfulness. Strange, but true.

 

[shell]

The only thing that helps me is controlling my breathing, grounding myself and telling myself it is not happening now, not fighting it and accepting it, almost as if it was trying to tell me something, which in my case it was, because my memory was blocked. I still am struggling, but it gets easier now that I no longer fight it.

 

[passerine]

Are you at all familiar with trauma sensitive yoga? This has been a saving grace for me in dealing with body memories, which I am all too familiar with, over the last year or so. I have been fortunate enough to have found a few wonderful trauma sensitive yoga teachers who offer classes and private sessions geared toward survivors. There is a ton of research on there on the topic -- give it a Google search! I now rely on yoga to help me with body memories, and, with practice, I have learned which poses make me feel the most grounded and safe.

 

[ellienad]

@shandemonium Thank you for sharing your experience, and thank you for the suggestions! I'm all for finding alternative methods in addition to traditional therapy. I'm sure there is a great therapist out there for you somewhere, hang in there. Have you utilized Psychology Today's "therapist finder"? This is how I found my therapist, and I couldn't be happier. You just put in your zip code and can look at photos, bios, and specialties of all the therapists in your area. It's worth a shot if you haven't tried it already. Best of luck to you!

@JEKBreatheandBelieve Thanks for the suggestions! My therapist has suggested repeating similar phrases as well, she also will say things along those lines if I have a flashback or body memory during a session which is calming/grounding. I totally understand what you mean about not remembering to do it on your own though. For me, when I get into the moment it's really hard for me to think about just about anything else except for what I'm experiencing. Here's to hoping that can change! :hug:

@shimmerz Oh, ((hugs)) I'm so sorry you experience such intrusive body memories.

For myself, I have found that putting my hand on my wrist and trying to regulate my pulse and synchronizing it with my breathing has helped tremendously. It gets me into my body. Brings me back to mindfulness.

I really like this idea, thank you!

The only thing that helps me is controlling my breathing, grounding myself and telling myself it is not happening now, not fighting it and accepting it, almost as if it was trying to tell me something, which in my case it was, because my memory was blocked. I still am struggling, but it gets easier now that I no longer fight it.

@shell Thank you. I am working on being able to do this! I can relate to it trying to tell me something too, as I had blocked out my actual visual memories for a very long time. Body memories actually started happening before any visuals came, I just didn't put the connection together/know what was going on at the time. What a journey it's been...

@passerine I am familiar with trauma sensitive yoga actually! I first heard about it somewhere on these message boards and immediately looked into it. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find anyone who practices it where I am located...I will keep searching though because I am determined to find someone nearby who must practice it/specialize in it ;)

 

[passerine]

You may want to buy the book, 'Overcoming Trauma Through Yoga: Reclaiming Your Body' by David Emerson and also search on Youtube for 'trauma sensitive yoga' or 'trauma informed yoga' because there are a few videos that take you through a practice. But I hope you can find a practitioner because that's what I know to be most helpful. I think any kind of somatic therapy would be really useful in processing and healing body memories. You might also want to look into dance and movement therapy. I've done a little bit of this as well and found it to be quite powerful.