Boyfriend not responding?

[Jay02]

Hi, everyone. So, I’ve had previous threads here before and it helped me a great deal. And yet again, I need some help and reassurance.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. He is a former Marine who had done two tours overseas. He has had flashbacks where he isolates himself and doesn’t usually respond to me. Though, he does usually tell me that he’s not doing okay and that’s my cue to give him his space.

This time, however, he hasn’t responded to any of my texts; he just reads them. I’m only assuming that he’s in a slump and is isolating himself because he hasn’t said anything. I’ve grown accustomed to this and can usually tell when it’s about to happen... I’m just a bit lost because he’s not replying and he’s not letting me know that it’s a flashback he’s dealing with... Which he normally does.

I don’t want to hound him with messages and yet, I feel like I’m doing as such. Is there any way I can go about this? I’ve grown used to him telling me what’s going on so I know when to give him space.

Any, and all advice is welcome! I really want to do right by him, and that includes gaining more information as to go about this situation (and future situations). Thank you.

 

[blackemerald1]

he hasn’t responded to any of my texts; he just reads them. I’m only assuming that he’s in a slump and is isolating himself because he hasn’t said anything. I’

How do you know he is just reading your texts? Have you tried to call him and say 'hey how are you & you didn't answer my texts so I'm not sure what is happening'

Whilst you may be prepared to give him space etc., I think he really ought to be able to let you know when he is needing it without being so dramatic.

 

[EveHarrington]

Ask him to turn read receipts off.

(I honestly think read receipts are the devil.)

How long has it been since he’s responded?

 

[LuckiLee]

He could be symptomatic due to an anniversary of one of his traumas. He's probably symptomatic (for whatever reason) and trying to Protect you from it. I capitalized the word Protect purposely. Our guys are combat veterans. They Protect. Especially the ones they love. Orrrrr?? He could just have cold feet and not be as invested as you are. I have no idea. Ugh! I do know it took me a few years to figure out how PTSD affects my guy. And we're still learning. Read around the forums. Lots of information here. Good luck.

 

[Jay02]

Ask him to turn read receipts off.

(I honestly think read receipts are the devil.)

How long has it been since he’s responded?

It’s been two days.

 

[Jay02]

He could be symptomatic due to an anniversary of one of his traumas. He's probably symptomatic (for whatever reason) and trying to Protect you from it. I capitalized the word Protect purposely. Our guys are combat veterans. They Protect. Especially the ones they love. Orrrrr?? He could just have cold feet and not be as invested as you are. I have no idea. Ugh! I do know it took me a few years to figure out how PTSD affects my guy. And we're still learning. Read around the forums. Lots of information here. Good luck.

It’s a bit odd because one minute, we’re really great and the next, this happens and I know I have no control over it. This past weekend, he’s admitted that I was the best thing to ever happen to him and it caught me off guard because he doesn’t usually say things like that. I started noticing that he wasn’t exactly replying or responding as much Tuesday night then proceeded with no response whatsoever the following days.

 

[Abstract]

Two days isn't very long at all.

 

[Jay02]

Two days isn't very long at all.

I suppose you are right. I’ve just grown accustomed to him telling me that something is wrong, so I back off.

 

[LuckiLee]

You've texted and he hasn't responded. I'd leave it at that for now. If you continue to bombard him with messages? He'll probably retreat father.

 

[Jay02]

You've texted and he hasn't responded. I'd leave it at that for now. If you continue to bombard him with messages? He'll probably retreat father.

You’re right. I’ll try and do that. I usually just send him a good morning text and then a good night text.

 

[Abstract]

I think its different if its a long time but for now that would be right action to take. It may just be an especially bad bout. You can always set boundaries after if this is sorted later. But 2 days isn't long in any context/relationship IMO. I know its not your usual pattern.

 

[Jay02]

I think its different if its a long time but for now that would be right action to take. It may just be an especially bad bout. You can always set boundaries after if this is sorted later. But 2 days isn't long in any context/relationship IMO. I know its not your usual pattern.

So, it wouldn’t be wise to let him know that I’m worried? I’ve just been sending him a good morning text with cute gifs of corgis (he loves those types of dogs), as well as letting him know that I’m still here and I love him...