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Relationship Boyfriend Vet With Ptsd, Serious Questions About Our Future

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I'm An Aquarius, its the sign of Unique perspective, this is EXACTLY how I write... IF it has the politics of war in it, so it is be. IT IS INTENDED. So there is an Astrologer on the board big dealio..... Yes it is harder to lie, with us around, not saying anyone does that around here.
 
What the hell are you talking about? You just insulted, and I'm losing count, the military, Geminis, the original poster... You reek of passive aggressiveness and do not care that you're being told you're not helpful by the person you are pretending to help. And your defense is that you are intentionally taking a warlike posture? Not sure who you're saying doesn't lie around here.
 
A war-like posture against war, is a posture, I can be confident in.

So a post was not "helpful" moving on.. to people that can appreciate Aquarian perspective.
 
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Good luck with your war on war. Not sure why you brought up Geminis btw, no one else had.
 
When it gets down to brass tacks... I go to extremes. As in, pick the absolute most I am willing to do under any circumstances and be happy with. Do that. From that point onward chips fall as they may. Cause I'm literally done. There is nothing left for me to do or say. I've already done everything I'm going to do about it, and said everything I'm going to say. There's no longer anything to argue about.

I've learned to present this to who I'm dating, first, instead of just doing it. They may not need/want as much as I'm willing to give. Or they may want more. Which means we break up.
 
Trust issues are going to be something he needs to work on himself. That's his issue to own. You can't make anybody trust you, and unfortunately his self preservation instinct may be making this harder. Regardless, it's not fair to you to be constantly accused of infidelity. That is going to lead to resentment.

It is OK to set a boundary with him regarding his accusations and irrational mistrust. You do not have to tolerate it if you have never done anything to betray him. If he continues to do this, you don't have to stick around in the relationship to be his target.

Also, I can understand the issues about having a social life as a supporter. Your sufferer may not want to socialize at all, or even leave the house. It is unfair for him to not want you to socialize without him either. You have to have a little time to do the things you enjoy too. He needs to understand this and be sensitive to your needs as well.

With that being said, if he is a priority for you, you can probably kiss most of your social life goodbye. He may not capable of handling noise, crowds, and people like you. If you want to spend the majority of your time with him, a lot of it will probably be alone and in a place he feels safe.

Just an aside... Arguing with a vet with combat PTSD is like throwing gasoline on a fire. They were trained to "fight" in fight or flight situations, so arguing does no good. It's better to not engage, and wait until they are calmer to have a discussion.
 
Trust issues are going to be something he needs to work on himself. That's his issue to own. You can'...
Thank you for this comment. It hits a lot of issues on the head, simple things that I have not looked at from the perspective you present. I've been thinking about your words a lot since you posted, and it's been very insightful. Thank you.
 
No problem... Learning to set boundaries makes a huge difference in your relationship. Just because your partner has PTSD does not mean they get to treat you any which way. If you are making accommodations for him and respecting his boundaries, he can work on respecting your boundaries too.
 
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