??? - Breakdown Imminent?

[RainbowSearchParty]

I have a sibling who I trust a lot. I just don't know what the reaction would be so I'm nervous about that. Might be a good idea though.

Sometimes you don't have to tell someone what is going on, just that you need support. Someone to be near. To listen. Or even just to offer distraction. I've found that sometimes when I'm in crisis I just need human connection, and it doesn't need to focus on me, just connection of some sort to keep me hinged to reality.

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

It sounds like you are feeling really, really overwhelmed.

I am, thank you for the support

I’ve noticed that I feel really bad when I don’t feel good about myself. Maybe try exploring what you think and feel about yourself.

The need to prove yourself is a sign at least to me of needing to build your self-esteem. You wouldn’t feel the need to prove anything if you knew you were already capable and not deserving of retraumatizing yourself.

Unfortunately I think you’re right. I don’t know anyone I‘d put through this other than myself. I don’t think I ever liked myself much. Viewing food as something I need and deserve is as progressive as it gets.

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

Sometimes you don't have to tell someone what is going on, just that you need support. Someone to be near. To listen. Or even just to offer distraction. I've found that sometimes when I'm in crisis I just need human connection, and it doesn't need to focus on me, just connection of some sort to keep me hinged to reality.

This is true, I haven't thought about it that way much. I think I need to re-learn interacting with people, in a way. In this area at least. I've never been good at asking for help, mostly covertly gaining it without mentioning anything. But now I'm in the situation where I need more than what I can get that way.
If they know I'm in need they can give support easier/more specifically. Thank you.


Wish my energy was higher for people

 

[Freddyt]

First place I go when I start feeling overwhelmed or feel like I am too focused on something is back to basics.

I am sure you have seen the PTSD cup article?

Go to whatever starts bailing out your stress cup. Because what comes after it overflows is it starts tripping off the other stuff.
Rumination follows, and I get focused on other things that - when really - if I can reduce how full my PTSD cup is - that stuff starts to go away.

I used to call it "the mail slot of tolerance" because a window - you can open, a mail slot is confined and all you do is bounce from very stressed to top of the scale - and all the symptoms start flooding. I picture that Wile E Coyote cartoon in the mine where he's bouncing off the floor and ceiling.....you are so busy banging your head off the ceiling you forget you can stop.

Where it turns back into a window of tolerance is when I start taking care of whatever is filling my PTSD cup. When you do that you start opening that window and it's a little weird, but when you start getting that one thing under control, everything else gets better too. Over time you get to where you just start whatever works for you to empty your cup so automatically, you can do it anywhere, anytime you can find a few seconds to trigger that process.

Get good at it and soon enough - you find yourself doing it with out thinking about it....

 

[Survivor3]

I regularly don't shower for about two weeks right now. If I need too I can force myself for a special occasion but it's usually 2 weeks right now. I've never been a big perspirer. During the pandemic I didn't wash for months and I DID Smell. Also my hair was matted. That was at also at a time I quit smoking and drinking. It was bad.

At the moment if I can't get in the shower then I just wash my private parts with antibacterial soap. Sorry to be graphic but I'm just being real. Before people manage to find the tools to get better and improve their situation it's normal for things to be bad.

I used to hate myself. I was really f*cked. But now after help and self help I love myself as much as I can, and others also. I hope that you can find ways to love yourself aswell.

And that feeling of getting out of the shower and putting on clean clothes is wonderful !!!

 

[Friday]

At the moment if I can't get in the shower then I just wash my private parts with antibacterial soap. Sorry to be graphic but I'm just being real.

We did “Hail Mary”s in the field… face, pits, crotch. It works. Mostly.

 

[Survivor3]

We did “Hail Mary”s in the field… face, pits, crotch. It works. Mostly.

Yep... basic survival techniques.

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

I regularly don't shower for about two weeks right now. If I need too I can force myself for a special occasion but it's usually 2 weeks right now. I've never been a big perspirer. During the pandemic I didn't wash for months and I DID Smell. Also my hair was matted. That was at also at a time I quit smoking and drinking. It was bad.

At the moment if I can't get in the shower then I just wash my private parts with antibacterial soap. Sorry to be graphic but I'm just being real. Before people manage to find the tools to get better and improve their situation it's normal for things to be bad.

I used to hate myself. I was really f*cked. But now after help and self help I love myself as much as I can, and others also. I hope that you can find ways to love yourself aswell.

And that feeling of getting out of the shower and putting on clean clothes is wonderful !!!

I am similar, once every two weeks. Roughly. If I'm prompted enough, more often.

Don't be sorry, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone has to do hygiene. I don't find it disgusting. It's a useful idea, less spoon-demanding and takes less steps to get there. I think I'd find that more manageable, less daunting when only have to take off one thing and not get all wet. I'd rather do that than do nothing.

I hope that you can find ways to love yourself aswell.

Thank you. From here it feels like something I'm not supposed to do.

It does feel nice being clean, and in something fresh. Like new bedding. Don't like doing it but it's nice.