Breaking Negative Loop

[Traumagirl]

Thanks Maddog. That sounds like great advise. I think I'll try that.

 

[Tanishq]

He simply says "just do a bit".

Many of the tasks that seem so huge and daunting can often be minimised if we don't set huge expectations and look on them as opportunities to keep moving and engaged, rather than mountains we have to climb.

This is great advise from you maddog. :)

 

[Tanishq]

I found another self destructive loop. I always compared myself and didn't know that it was being destructive on me.

We used to discuss about how many hours we should do reading? Back then I was person who studies a lot. Kind of bookworm. I was able to read for 45 mins and then I would feel let's get out of this book. Have some fun.

Some people told me that I am not focused properly. If you can study for at least one hour and can carry it for many hours, only then you are supposed to consider yourself as focused person. I beat myself a lot when I could not reach for 1 hour continuous reading.

Loop will go this way: I am ready to read book and I will read for one hour. After reaching on 45 mins, I would push myself and when I could not reach 1 hour marks. I would say myself I could not reach. I am not well reader.

At the moment I read college materials, I could read for only 20 mins. I remembered this thread and told myself I am doing fine because if I want to recover fully then I will have to go with "Do a bit" steps. :watching:

 

[saffy]

I found another self destructive loop. I always compared myself and didn't know that it was being destructive on me.

I beat myself a lot when I could not reach for 1 hour continuous reading.

Hi Jaret
I can understand what you are saying and am always beating myself up for things and not thinking I am worthy or good at anything.

However, Im not sure who told you theres a golden rule that you must read for an hour. why an hour? why not 'you must read one chapter', or 'you must read while you are engaged in it to the point you loose concentration and then find something else to do' Why not tell you to read for half and hour then go for a walk then read for another half hour = one hour?

Throughout my studies I was taught if you overload you will not learn anything because your concentration on the actual literature has stopped and your mind wanders. So do not push yourself to far. I found this helped because I could regulate it better doing it my way than trying to please someone else based on their reading habits.

Isn't life confusing :)

Best wishes and hugs
Saffy

 

[Tanishq]

Isn't life confusing :)

Hi Saffy, thank you for your insights.

My parents, some people who were obsessed behind study and teachers tried to instill this golden rule of studying all the time.

Yes, your advice helps. we need to go with the flow and not to push far. One moment will come we will find ourselves so much interested and we may not know what time is it now.

Life is much confusing. Enough!!! :p

Hope you have a good day there. :)
:hug:

Regards,
Jaret

 

[Whitneys story]

I found my recorder (loop) so much easier to push through from reading Anthony's Stressers V Triggers. It helped to lesson the fear and gave me perspective I could understand.

It may take a little time, I wish everyone peace in rising above! Hugs Whitney

 

[Tanishq]

Anthony's Stressers V Triggers can be hard in starting. I have just guessed at that though. You have to find which one is right for you. People like me who have been emotionally abused may have loopy thoughts ingrained in their mind. It was hard to catch this all.

Hug Back Whitney. :)

 

[99Phoenix99]

Ah, comparing yourself.

I'm constantly comparing myself to what I was before PTSD to what I am now. Anyone else do that?

 

[Tanishq]

I'm constantly comparing myself to what I was before PTSD to what I am now. Anyone else do that?

I do this still. I have little patches of comparing myself with others and also with my past. It is negative. So I am thinking to get rid of this.

Comparing may not help us. if we think ourselves, we have come so far and look at our positive results we have created. it can motivates us more.

Phoenix, could you please tell me how do you compare yourself? Are you trying to say that negative loopy thoughts are also playing part in comparing yourself with others or your past?

 

[Shellbell]

I'm constantly comparing myself to what I was before PTSD to what I am now. Anyone else do that?

Yes I do this every day. I went 20 years basically in denial and avoidance, being strong, not letting myself be the victim, not having or needing support from anyone. I was fearless. I had successful high stress jobs, earned good money, I looked my best all the time, was a gym junkie. I pushed myself hard and excelled. Mediocrity wasn't an option. I was in control at all times.

Now, I'm the opposite of these things. And I know I will never be the person I once was.

 

[99Phoenix99]

Phoenix, could you please tell me how do you compare yourself? Are you trying to say that negative loopy thoughts are also playing part in comparing yourself with others or your past?

I'm saying that comparing myself now to my old self is just as bad as comparing myself to another. If not it's worse. And a terrible thing to get trapped in.


When I was younger I had a great deal of pride in myself. I was a premiere athlete. I was an academic. I was the life of the party. I worked hard. And played hard. Go big or go home was my motto. And then I became very ill and was incapable of doing any of it. Sports, school, extra curriculars, hell even being able to walk and talk.

Now that I'm better physically I'm trying to do everything I once did. But I'm realizing I CAN'T do what I once did. I CAN'T run 2 miles anymore. I can barely do 1/4th a mile without getting dizzy. I CAN'T concentrate with the intensity I used to. It's just... comparing yourself to your old self is a terrible thing. I'm always saying "I used to" or "I can't anymore". I'm constantly losing sight that not even a year ago I was hospitalized and what great gains I've achieved. But I think what I've done is put my old self on a pedestal. It's just engrossing myself in the past even more. It's a negative thinking pattern that really does get stuck in a loop.

The hard part is breaking it, because that means I have to find new ways to find pride in myself again.

 

[Tanishq]

Now that I'm better physically I'm trying to do everything I once did. But I'm realizing I CAN'T do what I once did. I CAN'T run 2 miles anymore. I can barely do 1/4th a mile without getting dizzy. I CAN'T concentrate with the intensity I used to. It's just... comparing yourself to your old self is a terrible thing.

Phoenix. You can regain. If you start it today by walking small steps, you will reach there. It may not be old self, but your new self with new thoughts. You will be rewarded something new to self appreciate yourself.

I was same like you. Outgoing and sport person. I am also same like you I do get dizzied, but it is fading. I have started walking 2.3 miles daily.

I think we need not to forget in past we also started by small steps. This small steps will be great for us to break this negative loop and go towards our main goal.

You have done great in past. You can do this again. :)

What would you do to achieve to go back to daily healthy exercise? From where you can start right now?

:tup: Phoenix.