Negative self talk

[Kitkat84]

I struggle with constant very negative self talk which has become almost disabling. I would appreciate any advice on how to challenge these. They run almost constantly in my head with no breaks. I meditate twice a day which helps for the duration of meditation. Dee breathing helps somewhat , but I have very rigid negative beliefs about myself and nothing has helped. CBT hasn’t helped me in the past. I find opening up to therapists very difficult.
I feel I need to quit my job because the negative self talk at work has become almost impossible to manage.
I appreciate any advice you have.

 

[Movingforward10]

The constant noise in our heads with negative self talk is really difficult and draining and creates a lot of anxiety.

What has helped me has been:
Reviewing how I see myself, working on some core beliefs and changing them. (Things like blaming myself for the trauma i experienced to shifting the blame to where it belongs, and removing the hatred I had for myself and turning it into appreciation).

It takes time, but challenging the negative talk with counter messages helps. Or at least making a deal with it "not now I busy" etc.

 

[Sideways]

Thought diffusion was amazing for me - learning how to give thoughts space when I want to, or shrugging them off when I need to (“thanks Brain, but not today”).

It’s a skill that you learn with ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy). Russ Harris’ work on this is very easy to follow.

 

[Kitkat84]

The constant noise in our heads with negative self talk is really difficult and draining and creates a lot of anxiety.

What has helped me has been:
Reviewing how I see myself, working on some core beliefs and changing them. (Things like blaming myself for the trauma i experienced to shifting the blame to where it belongs, and removing the hatred I had for myself and turning it into appreciation).

It takes time, but challenging the negative talk with counter messages helps. Or at least making a deal with it "not now I busy" etc.

Yes, constant negative self talk is draining. I blame myself a lot. CBT doesn’t work for me unfortunately
I have recently read that there is no blame and it all is as was supposed to be etc. I find this view confusing and causing despair. Like to know other people’s opinion on this

 

[arfie]

empathy, kit kat. for my own psycho nickel, i believe my negative self-talk is part of my undeveloped self-esteem. i came of age believing i was worth nothing and had no place in the world. i had plenty of evidence that the world though so, too. that gnasty and boisterous puppet show is still playing in my head.

i have yet to find a quick fix for this dysfunction, but one of the tools which helps me is to practice more positive thoughts by saying them to other people who seem to be struggling similarwise. each time i help someone else build their own self-esteem, i add a new player to a more positive puppet show in my head.

dunno if that made a lick of sense or it it applies to your case, or knot. just sharing.

steadying support while you sort your own case. every case is unique.

 

[PamelaS]

I struggle with constant very negative self talk which has become almost disabling. I would appreciate any advice on how to challenge these. They run almost constantly in my head with no breaks. I meditate twice a day which helps for the duration of meditation. Dee breathing helps somewhat , but I have very rigid negative beliefs about myself and nothing has helped. CBT hasn’t helped me in the past. I find opening up to therapists very difficult.
I feel I need to quit my job because the negative self talk at work has become almost impossible to manage.
I appreciate any advice you have.

I’m sorry for your struggle with the negative thoughts in your head. I am a Christian and I have found my faith to be very helpful in dealing with this. There are many things that my faith offers in order to stop it and to turn it around. I apologize if this offends you. Just sharing my experience. Wish you the best in conquering this piece of the puzzle. You do not have to give up. It’s a hard fight, but it’s worth it. Hope you find some answers here that are helpful to you. Your future is brighter than your today. One day at a time. One step at a time. Always moving forward. Here for you.

Yes, constant negative self talk is draining. I blame myself a lot. CBT doesn’t work for me unfortunately
I have recently read that there is no blame and it all is as was supposed to be etc. I find this view confusing and causing despair. Like to know other people’s opinion on this

CBT hasn’t worked for me either. Spent 10 years of my life doing that and didn’t get anywhere. Trusted the system. Not anymore. Now I’m taking responsibility for myself. I’m researching possible solutions and applying them. I have found many here. There are articles that explain a lot of things. And I have invested in a lot of resources to learn more about what’s going on in my body and my mind.

There have been two books that have been helpful with people here. I am now reading The Body Keeps Score by Bessel van der Kolk and it explains what has happened inside my body and my brain. That is very helpful for me moving forward. There are actually changes that take place in our brain. Neurology has now discovered that we have the ability to change things in our brain. It’s called neuroplasticity.

Please don’t give up because what you have tried so far hasn’t worked. There are many many options to overcome whatever piece of the puzzle needs addressing at the time.

Another book that has been mentioned here is Complex CPTSD by Pete Walker. I find when I focus my attention on something else it leaves less time for my mind to be doing the wrong things. I hope you’re able to find some answers and focus on learning ways that do actually help you to take control of this area.

You don’t have to stay here. We’re all here to support one another in order to get to a better place. You do know that you are not to blame. You do know that most of those thoughts are lies. They simply aren’t true. You need to start believing the truth about yourself. Stop the lies in their tracks and replace them with the truth. It’s a difficult exercise until you get in the habit of doing it. The more you do it, the more control you take back of your mind. You can do it. We’re here to support and encourage you and give you options to help.

Looking forward to hearing about improvements from some of the ideas that you’re getting. We’ve all been there. Not everything works with everyone. Try a few things out and see what works. It’s not going to be an overnight fix. It’s going to be a fight. But it’s a fight worth winning. You have a better future ahead of you than the past you have behind you. You can get there one step at a time.

There’s a lot of information out there. Not all of it is beneficial. We can get bogged down in confusion. What I do when I start to get confused by information is I stop going in that direction and take a break for self-care and self love. My mind can start spinning out of control if I don’t. Please be gentle with yourself and love yourself even if you don’t believe it, and even if you don’t feel like it. You deserve love. Please start believing that. Repeated over and over and over to yourself.

I have found that speaking out loud things that are true and good gives me more power to overcome the negative thoughts. Give it a try. Do it for a while. Like arfie said, there’s no quick fix. But there is hope. And there are resources to help. And we are all here for you.

 

[Movingforward10]

Yes, constant negative self talk is draining. I blame myself a lot. CBT doesn’t work for me unfortunately
I have recently read that there is no blame and it all is as was supposed to be etc. I find this view confusing and causing despair. Like to know other people’s opinion on this

Yeah, I think there is work to do before some CBT strategies are effective. Which is the deep rooted stuff. But that's my opinion and many others differ with their views.

I think there is blame. Or responsibility. Particularly when a lot of us blame ourselves so much. It really is very freeing to put the blame onto those who made decisions to harm us. So I do think there is blame and that it isn't helpful to say otherwise. But again, that's my opinion and others differ.

 

[Kitkat84]

Yeah, I think there is work to do before some CBT strategies are effective. Which is the deep rooted stuff. But that's my opinion and many others differ with their views.

I think there is blame. Or responsibility. Particularly when a lot of us blame ourselves so much. It really is very freeing to put the blame onto those who made decisions to harm us. So I do think there is blame and that it isn't helpful to say otherwise. But again, that's my opinion and others differ.

Thank you for your response. It is hard to blame the people who have repeatedly traumatized me, because they are the only people in my life. I have lost all my friends and support

 

[PamelaS]

Well, the way I see it. You lost a lot of friends who didn’t get it and by joining this forum you gained a whole lot of friends who do. The way I see it, you’re better off for it. I was isolated in my home for more than 20 years. A lot of people fall away. My only friend was God. Sorry if that offends anyone but that was the reality of my life. There was no one else. This was when I was in an apartment safe from my abusive husband, but caring for my son. Who’s on the spectrum with severe CPTSD. Still caring for him, but he cares for me just as much. So very thankful for my son, although he isn’t exactly a friend because he’s my son. So very very thankful to get connected to all of you! Let’s have a party! Let’s celebrate our friendships!