Breaking Negative Loop

[saffy]

The hard part is breaking it, because that means I have to find new ways to find pride in myself again

That was like how I used to think. A while a go after reading a self help book my mindset changed and instead of thinkin I cannot do it anymore, I think I am proud I could once do that. I find that helps. I also tell myself that I have grown and changed and that there will be other things to try to learn that I might also one day say I was proud to have done that or at least tried.

I was in control at all times.

That is so exhausting! You get so in the flow you forget who you are and how to slow down and relax eh. I used to take on too much until I peaked and broke down, I realise that I pushed myself for the wrong reasons. Now I am still figuring out what I want to do for the right reasons but it is slowing starting to change my life for the better. And Im starting to think more positive about myself. I hope that makes sense.

Best wishes

Saffy :)

 

[Traumagirl]

Wow! Shellbell and Phoenix, reading your post was like reading my diary. I was so good at everything and confident. But now... It's so nice to see that I'm not alone in this. I also compare myself with my old self. I generally don't compare with others too much, but I think it's worse to compare myself with what I used to be able to do. Although I was so confident and capable before, I was also a total stress junkie. I was always a little anxious and constantly stressed out. Also, there were wounds hidden inside, insecurities that fueled my constant need for accomplishment. I definitely have a healthier soul, one that realizes that I don't have to always be useful to someone in order to feel worthy to be on this earth. I was sooooo insecure that I really thought I couldn't have an idle moment. I think I was afraid that someone would hurt me (like when I was a child). So, some things are better then before. I wish that was enough to keep me from daydreaming about the past me, but no.

 

[Tanishq]

You get so in the flow you forget who you are and how to slow down and relax eh.

Saffy, That proves you can win by turtle speed. It rocks! :laugh:

 

[saffy]

Saffy, That proves you can win by turtle speed. It rocks! :laugh:

well you must know the story of the tortoise and the hare;)

 

[Tanishq]

the tortoise and the hare

I didn't know the hare is synonym for rabbit. :)

 

[Tanishq]

I definitely have a healthier soul, one that realizes that I don't have to always be useful to someone in order to feel worthy to be on this earth.

I am glad to read this. You will succeed to find your real self with new experiences. :tup:

 

[Tanishq]

This is working!

I walked 1.6 miles without feeling dizzied. I felt motivated and ready to go for a walk. I am thinking very less about frequent urination. *Relief*

 

[99Phoenix99]

This is working!

I walked 1.6 miles without feeling dizzied. I felt motivated and ready to go for a walk.

Congrats Jaret! I'm so happy for you! :D

 

[sunshineontheway]

I used to have such symptom, sth similar to Obsession. Just be more relaxed to yourself. It seems that you're quite eager to walk out & got better very soon, but this thought doesn't help. Maybe you need to know why you're not feeling well. What's the problem behind this bad feeling? What negative event caused this feeling? Source which lead to bad feeling or symptom is cretical on the way of healing and in alleviating all unpleasant symptom.

 

[Tanishq]

maybe you need to know why you're not feeling well , what's the problem behind this bad feeling ?

sunshineontheway, I appreciate your input. Thank you. :)

Yes, I am taking care of myself. I am learning what is causing me negative thoughts? I am choosing my thoughts carefully now. I counted average of this week and that is 2.5 mile/day. It has increased and I do feel to go more outside. To give myself enough exercise and it makes me feel happy with myself.

This thread is working for me. I am glad. I am thankful to everyone's input and more to find out.

 

[sunshineontheway]

You're welcomed. Haha, my name's too long, but I like it as it give me hope, also very glad to share your achievement.

I've ever read a book name 'life after trauma', it said that the series of bad /destructive feeling or symptom comes from uncomprehensive negative events which buried in subconsciousness. They constantly emerge into the mind, for calling for your attention to process it, digest it. Once they were realized by you & completely comprehended this symptom even nightmare would get away from you.

I've try the therapy of psychoanalysis which this book use, to my experience, it works in alleviate, most of my symptoms. Moreover, some of them even faded, disappear. But to me, it's still a long way for me to go. I need time to settle the rest symptom, rebuild healthy relief of life & confidence , sense of safety.

Most recently, I found a good book named 'the post traumatic stress disorder sourcebook', which could be bought in amazon.com. I browse some chapters, & found it useful and hit the right nail.

Though with the accompany of these good books, I feel that I am on the way of healing, but sometimes some unpleasant event could break me down.

When I read the discussion about the old self and recent self, I feel surprised that many of us used to have glorious past but recent delicate state.

I've ever read a message saying it's the unhealthy living way which lead to failure. For example in Asian Country, a kid spent lots of time to achieve academic success. He may harvest many applause and honour, but at the same while, he lost the time which should have been spent on social activity at peer age. And with more time spent on study in order to achieve academic success, his basic social knowledge lacks more, lag behind more. He then became an academic giant but a dwarf in social activity and daily life. And due to shortness of basic social knowledge, it make it more possible for him to be hurt or defeated by setback in social activity domain. This is the prototype of many diligent asian students, including myself. Sometimes trauma is caused by some unhealthy, imbalanced way of achieving success, leading a person into failure in the end.

 

[Tanishq]

Hey sunshineontheway, You have nice username. :)

I've ever read a book name <life after trauma>,

Thanks for recommendation of this book. I think this can help me a lot. I have been searching for self help kind of books which can inspire me, give me some more tools to cope with time when I am being triggered consciously or unconsciously.

Most recently , i found a good book named <the post traumatic stress disorder sourcebook >

I am glad to know you received so much help and that also inspires me to explore more in such books.

Though with the accompany of these good books , I feel that i am on the way of healing , but sometimes some unpleasant event could break me down ....

I understand. Healing is not easiest for traumatic paths. They have to go through very rough road. In the end, it's all worth it.

When i read the discussion about the old self and recent self , I feel surprised that many of us used to have glorious past but recent delicate state .......

I know, where you come from. It's all in our hand.

For example in Asian Country , a kid spent lots of time to achieve academic sucess .

This paragraph is ME. But I was never "bookworm". I was bent in it due to forceful circumstances. I couldn't refuse it those days. I like to do "clever and effective work". We can produce some effortless results,too. They are fun. I feel lucky that I have been able to not to let it get my head. I lost touch from real world. I am getting back there. I am believing in myself and I think I can be social and balanced person as I used to be as boy. I allowed people's judgements about myself and that messed up lot of things.

Sunshine, thanks for showing much understanding. I like your posts and appreciate it much. :)