Breaking Negative Loop

[Tanishq]

To this of situation, I keep silent in the surface, but inside my heart, I feel them not worthy to continue the relationship and I think if they need support in future, I would not give mine fully to help.....

I do feel the same way towards them. It is very tough task to mend all things with my relatives. They don't want to change, but they want us to be changed for them and for ourselves. I wish they open their eyes and also learn that in life they will have to be changed,too. You've to work through out the life. You can't have vacation.

((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))).

:hug: to everyone Shellbell, TGirl & Sunshine.

:happy:

 

[sunshineontheway]

:hug: Hi, Jaret ,for my relatives, they seem to have less problem of 'don't want to change', but I found some of them are very indifferent to other's misfortune. These days a girl in my dad's family group got schizophrenia due to love affairs, when this news spread to other relatives, they show an indifferent attitude and some even show their excitement, like they have discover a piece of new land in the planet or like they found a scandal......I just can't understand how can they be so cruel and tough to such a poor girl.....I just don't konw whether I have problem in myself or those people have ...

 

[Tanishq]

Hi Sunshine, they carry low vibe. I am learning, though I also fall in this mistake. I stop myself when I am thinking about them and tell myself I have nothing do with their life. It is not serving any big purpose. It also did create some bad attitude within me because I gave them attention.

My relatives have spreaded rumors about me and when I heard of them all, I was very furious. From that day I haven't contacted them. I don't hear about them, but sometimes I hear they are still bad people. That's all. I don't think they are worthy of my time. They will spend whole life this way sadly.

:hug:

Hey! One more thing I found out. You can break this all loops, if you stop paying attention to them. Loops multiply when you focus on them for long. What do you think?

 

[sunshineontheway]

My relatives have spreaded rumors about me...I don't think they are worthy of my time. They will spend whole life this way sadly.

Actually, I used to be reumored by my relatives, too. At the first time, I was embrassed but latter I think life is mine, none of their business. To the people who make fun of, I would not feel sad or upset but just feel these people are ignorant and empty-headed even they're much elder than me...They do this to others and other would do the same to them in future, isn't it? :O_o:

Hey! One more thing I found out. You can break this all loops...What do you think?

I am so happy to share your method against loops, but I'm sorry to tell you that it's very hard for me not to pay attention to them, though I tell myself many times not to, but I couldn't control them, they seem to spurt and fuled by somewhere or something in my subconsciousness...:bag:

 

[Tanishq]

though I tell myself many times not to, but I couldn't control them, they seem to spurt and fuled by somewhere or something in my subconsciousness...:bag:

No, no. Sunshine. I will never allow you to be hard on yourself. Never. :D Being hard on yourself is forbidden in our friendship.

I can understand, most of the times I can't control myself. Cleaning faulty program/memories from our subconscious mind is very hard. Takes so many years.

:hug:

 

[sunshineontheway]

I will never allow you to be hard on yourself. Never. :D Being hard on yourself is forbidden in our friendship.

(((((((Jaret))))))), thank you for your warm words, Jaret...I try not to be hard on myself, though it's pretty hard for me not to push myself...

sometimes I feel good,but once I think my illness hasn't come to an end, I try to push myself and make myself into a state of depression.....You know,Jaret, I lost lot of good things because of PTSD,sometimes I feel that I have not enough patience to wait...:cry:

I can understand, most of the times I can't control myself. Cleaning faulty program/memories from our subconscious mind is very hard. Takes so many years.
:hug:

Me too. I feel like very hard to me, this kind of loop and feeling like recorded in the mind and boardcast once being triggered...Anyway, I am glad that sometimes you can control it, it's great that you defeat them.:) :hug:

Yes, cleaning faulty program/memories is a huge project and work of months or even years...:dead:

 

[Tanishq]

You know,Jaret, I lost lot of good things because of PTSD,sometimes I feel that I have not enough patience to wait...:cry:

Big :hug:

Sunshine, I have come so far. When I finally stopped beating myself. That's very hard thing to do though. But not impossible.

We are on great journey and we will find out so many things here.

I feel like very hard to me, this kind of loop and feeling like recorded in the mind and boardcast once being triggered

Do you approach new efforts every time you or you repeat the same effort? If you are making the same effort with same input, then you'll get the same result again.

Every time we all have to do with something new, like we are on new level. That will start creating slighter differences. Does this make sense for this thread?

 

[sunshineontheway]

Sunshine, I have come so far. When I finally stopped beating myself...

:hug: I know you're not easy either, I don't allow you to beat yourself hard,too. ;) It does no good to the illness and give more pressure to the mind...Try to be more toleratnt to ourselves and give it some time and not be hurried or desperately eager to be healed or take up something challenging, because it's not the right time now...

Do you approach new efforts every time ...Does this make sense for this thread?

Yes, I am doing self therapy these days or this month(actually about 15days), it's not easy and take a lot of time...I feel depressed sometimes as there's not any specialist guiding me (All my guidance depends on several self-help book) and I plan to work next month as last month I resigned....My therapy is an intensive one and I don't know whether I can find my way back to the old self, I wish I can...

Your thread and posts are meaningful and has inspired lots of enlightening sparks. I would try to find and learn more ways to 'control' loops, my trauma event last for half a year,which has accumulated much negative feeling and attitude towards life...It would take much of the time....:sorry:

 

[Tanishq]

I know you're not easy either, I don't allow you to beat yourself hard,too. ;) It does no good to the illness and give more pressure to the mind...Try to be more toleratnt to ourselves and give it some time and not be hurried or desperately eager to be healed or take up something challenging, because it's not the right time now...

Wise and supportive words from you Sunshine. Talk about being patience at worst time and it will pass soon. :)

I learned this form here on this forums. So many people are suffering from so many years. They learn something every year. It's not like they are only suffering. They are learning and living with it. They are worthy of happiness and same like us. I do think that way sometimes that I will have to only suffer. But I am wrong, I will live. Soothing thing, isn't it?

:hug:

 

[sunshineontheway]

Wise and supportive words from you Sunshine. Talk about being patience at worst time and it will pass soon. :)

No, initially, your words are warm, soothing and give me much support ...Actually I am very very inpatient with my illness (I want to make more and quick progress with healing) because I have to work next month. But my own schedule is to extend my self-help therapy to the end of November...But my parents said it's not good because it's going to be 2013, they urge me to work asap....
:(

I learned this form here on this forums. So many people ...They learn something every year. ...But I am wrong, I will live. Soothing thing, isn't it?

:hug: Yes, learning more methods would be good to healing. I think we're all those who are strong willed but just lack a little bit of luckiness,right?:happy: If we can walk out of this illness, we can do good jobs in our life and career....Another thought I am enlightened from your post is that no matter how hard it is, try to treat ourselves well and take good care of ourselves, or else it's easily to get another illness due to bad emotion ...

 

[Tanishq]

I want to make more and quick progress with healing

I am sorry sunshine. This might sound not right to you, but it is true. There is no quick fix or progress. If you give up going quicker, you will become slow. You will be able to focus more and tackle things very well. I understand. I think, you must be trying to slow down yourself. But parents and outside world doesn't understand we really need to go slow, not to pile up expectation on someone who is dealing with traumatic things in their life. They do create more challenges for ourselves.

Did you tell parents what you are going through? How was their response? Understand parents pressuring us to get to work. Here we are concerned about our health first.

Another thought I am enlightened from your post is that no matter how hard it is, try to treat ourselves well and take good care of ourselves, or else it's easily to get another illness due to bad emotion

and I was enlightened by this forum. :D

I will write more later. Right now I am going to take afternoon nap. I am feeling very sleepy. :sleep:

 

[sunshineontheway]

If you give up going quicker, you will become slow...Did you tell parents what you are going through? ...Here we are concerned about our health first.

Yes, although the self-help book told me that I shoul follow my heart and pace on the way to healing as
more haste, less speed. However, the outside world would always say life is a marathon, the more you stay or dealy, the more you lag behind and lost...It's really a contradiction...:coffee:

I've told my situation to partents, but they seem to pay insufficient attention to my illness...To them, career is more important...And more or less, I can feel they don't believe PTSD is an illness but just a period of bad emotion which would fade with enough rest.....

I think what you figure out is definitely correct, health dominates everything...I would try to find the best balance between following my step for healing and parent's expectation....I agree your point that we should concern our health first:tup:

I will write more later.I am feeling very sleepy. :sleep:

ok, you have my approval.....:p