Two weeks ago I was so close to filing for divorce, I was looking at houses close to where I work. But over the weekend, something odd happened. (I briefly mentioned this in another post - forgive me if it's redundant). We got into an argument about whether or not to switch cell phone companies, of all things. Although I wanted to yell at him and tell him he was being an idiot for getting so angry over something so petty, I restrained myself and took the kids out for a while. (That alone is progress on my part - I have a really hard time letting things go when I don't feel like I'm getting the respect I deserve). Anyway, he was still mad when we got back. I held my tongue until the kids went to bed, then had a knock-down-drag-out argument with him.
All of a sudden, he broke down crying. He told me a lot of the things that happened in Iraq that had been causing so many problems over the past four years. I'm sure I still don't know everything, but that was the first time he had told me ANYTHING since he returned, in 2005! Then he apologized for everything he's been doing for the past few weeks (which have been ten times worse than usual for all of us), and for the first time in as long as I can remember, he really seemed sincere.
So I expected everything to return to the way it was before - with me walking on eggshells and him lazing around the house complaining about everything. But it really seems like things have changed for the better. Don't get me wrong, there are still some problems. But he's started helping out around the house (not as much as I'd like, but at this point I'm thrilled just to see him do anything at all), he cut the grass and walked the dogs without me having to ask him 22 times, and has stopped spending hours and hours playing video games. He even agreed to finally get some therapy, and made an appointment for Monday.
Could it be that the simple act of holding in all that stress was making things worse? Or is this just a temporary improvement that will go away with time? I hate to sound so cynical, but I'm trying not to set myself up to get hurt again. At the same time, though, I don't want to assume the worst if something really has changed. Any thoughts?
All of a sudden, he broke down crying. He told me a lot of the things that happened in Iraq that had been causing so many problems over the past four years. I'm sure I still don't know everything, but that was the first time he had told me ANYTHING since he returned, in 2005! Then he apologized for everything he's been doing for the past few weeks (which have been ten times worse than usual for all of us), and for the first time in as long as I can remember, he really seemed sincere.
So I expected everything to return to the way it was before - with me walking on eggshells and him lazing around the house complaining about everything. But it really seems like things have changed for the better. Don't get me wrong, there are still some problems. But he's started helping out around the house (not as much as I'd like, but at this point I'm thrilled just to see him do anything at all), he cut the grass and walked the dogs without me having to ask him 22 times, and has stopped spending hours and hours playing video games. He even agreed to finally get some therapy, and made an appointment for Monday.
Could it be that the simple act of holding in all that stress was making things worse? Or is this just a temporary improvement that will go away with time? I hate to sound so cynical, but I'm trying not to set myself up to get hurt again. At the same time, though, I don't want to assume the worst if something really has changed. Any thoughts?
