BPD C-ptsd vs bpd

[ceruleanblue]

I was told after a suicide attempt, and a period of self-harm about 15 years ago that I have "many of the features of BPD", save for manipulation. I'm pretty blunt and what you see is what you get. Other than that, it all fits. I was given a photocopied article written by a clinician who basically stated BPD patients are impossible to treat, hard to tolerate, and even their hope of getting better is part of the disorder.

Just what you what to hear after a suicide attempt.

I was still not open to discussing my trauma, so until I was able and willing to actually talk about it years later, I did not get a diagnosis of C-PTSD. I really think I have both, after doing some more recent research on BPD. Aging has definitely helped me, I'm not as volatile as I used to be.

I also remember how irrational and straight up crazy I was in my last relationship with a man, and it's the memory of the jealousy, the anger, the almost violent intensity of all my emotions with him, even love, that has kept me from dating. I don't ever want to subject anyone to my "relationship" self, and I don't want to feel all those things again, ever. It's incredibly painful.

 

[Sideways]

But I "meet diagnostic criteria for depressive disorders and avoidant personality disorder."

On a recent diagnosis form, my P-Doc put, alongside PTSD & DID, "Mixed personality disorder".

I have BPD traits, but my personality is screwed. But then, my personality is screwed because I have complex PTSD, because of what I've lived through, and the ways I've had to learn to cope.

So I liked that: Mixed personality disorder. It was like an acknowledgement that there's personality issues that need addressing, but they exist only in the context of a person suffering from ptsd and did.

 

[Deleted member 31998]

You and I are thinking some of the exact same things today. I was reading about having a fragmented se...

Wow, everything you say is spot on to how I am too! Whenever I have tried to look back on myself before the events, I was far too young to actually have a sense of self, sexuality, being, etc. Anyhow I have gone through this issue too, including people in my own life saying, "Do you have a split personality or something?!" which is quite hurtful; there was that lack of consideration for what I was going through.

When people, including professionals, bring up BPD there is typically that implication towards the person that makes it seem as if they are liars who live a double life. More often than not this thought is untrue and further perpetuates the stigma with having a PD, while the people who do live that "double life" are more than likely trying to escape their own daily living. Whatever your diagnosis may be, you are still you at the end of the day.

Jasmine