Can a therapist IVC you for having sex?

[susannahsays]

Sorry, I am having issues with the quote function.

@shimmerz Not trying to play the innocent at all. Just looking for answers. I doubt that anybody would agree with what I am doing, and I don't want to hear crap about it, so I kept the details to a minimum - especially since it involves what the therapist claims is sexual abuse and this is a PTSD forum. However, I will try to give a few details. The therapist feels that I am abusive towards one of the imposters, C, because of the sex. She identifies C as the real person and me as some sort of freak alter.

@Justmehere The therapist has mentioned programs like that before. I have no interest. I'm not usually ashamed about the sex stuff I've been doing. I am a bit secretive because the therapist doesn't like it.


Anyway, I felt really bad after the session on Friday and for making the therapist think I was mad at her when I was really just scared she was going to be angry with me about the sex. And to be honest, I was really angry with myself for changing my mind and with the guy for not changing his. And C. I am always angry with C.

 

[joeylittle]

Hi, Susannahsays - just a few thoughts for you...

First is, you can post whatever you like. If you want to give people a heads up about the content (so they can choose to read it or not), that's totally fine but not required. If everyone on the site avoided saying things that might trigger others, no-one would be able to say anything at all. So - no need to worry about triggering, your concern only needs to be able what you are or are not comfortable posting.

OK, now the main bits. You said this:

The therapist claims I have DID. I think I just have a few imposters due to schizophrenia. One of the imposters has been diagnosed with PTSD

This is pretty complicated - but the thing that stuck out to me was your belief that you might be more properly diagnosed with schizophrenia. If that's the case, then you've got something quite radically different from DID going on, and need to get properly diagnosed (if possible) - but get onto the right treatment plan, no matter what.

You've posted some about not being able to be re-diagnosed, and I do get it. But you also seem to be interested (?) in getting to the root of this stuff...can I ask, do you also see a psychiatrist/are you on any medications/has anyone ruled out schizophrenia for you, recently? (like in the last 5 years).

Professional diagnosis depends a lot on the readiness of the person suffering to self-disclose, and the talent/training of the clinician. Also, the field evolves. I'm not a doctor, but feel pretty confident saying - if you're dealing with schizophrenia, there's not a lot that DID protocols can do for you.

At first I told the therapist that I left C to deal with it, as usual, but then she seemed mad, so I admitted I had kept my promise not to involve C. I just don't like the therapist to know that anything bad has ever happened to me!

You're trying to control your relationship with your therapist, so you can control what she thinks of you. And, you feel badly when you think she thinks badly of you. It's high-priority to start telling the therapist the truth, right off. In order to do that, you might need to spend a session talking about the therapeutic alliance - what you think she thinks, v what she actually thinks, communication, etc.

The therapist feels that I am abusive towards one of the imposters, C, because of the sex. She identifies C as the real person and me as some sort of freak alter.

And this is pretty troubling. Has she actually said this, or is this the way you interpreted something you said? (we all do that, all the time....not accusing you of lying or anything like that)

 

[Sideways]

The way a person decides to approach their recovery is entirely their own choice to make.

But when you’re clear that you’re not going to be forthcoming with your therapist, and you’re not going to be forthcoming when you talk about your experience here - it’s difficult to know what it is you’re hoping to achieve for yourself, let alone how this community can help.

 

[EveHarrington]

Ahh ok I understand, you are an alter is posting.

 

[susannahsays]

@joeylittle I suppose I could ask the psychiatrist to diagnose me, but I am scared she will say I have DID like the others. I let her call me by C's name and I don't think she knows about the erroneous DID diagnosis. She's always looking at me though and asking about the dissociation and when I'm "not myself." I told her last time that I don't have flashbacks and I tried to tell her that I don't dissociate, because I don't. She didn't really listen though. I also told her that I wasn't depressed, because I'm fine. She asked if I'd found myself in any fearful situations. I demanded if she had been talking to the therapist, and she denied doing so (they are in the same suite). At the end she said it seemed like I didn't feel like talking today ?. I don't trust her!

As for what the therapist thinks of me. One time I lied to her about something and said it didn't happen. Then later, I admitted it happened. She asked me why I lied, and I said because I didn't want her to know (duh)! She said she doesn't think badly of me, but I still don't like when she knows things. I have told her things, but I don't like it. I don't really care what she thinks, I just feel all panicky when she starts talking about it. So when she starts in on talking about abuse blah blah, I say I was never abused and try to shut her down. I did not really talk to the previous therapist, and I didn't know therapists would confront you when you contradict yourself, tell you you're wrong, and just generally put you in your place.

The therapist did not actually call me a "freak alter" verbatim. What happened was I said, with passion, that I am the real person. She replied that she knows I wish that was true!

 

[susannahsays]

@EveHarrington Are you deliberately trying to provoke me? I have stated that I am not some sort of alter. This is really a trigger for me.

 

[Muttly]

As someone with DID there are some things that stand out for me. I understand you aren't convinced you have DID, and @joeylittle had a great reply addressing that. For the moment, I am going to assume you do have DID. I am not saying that's true, since I don't know you. But DID is something I know about and maybe something I say will help if you have DID. Or maybe even if you don't.

While you may hate C, it sounds like you all share the same body? If so, there needs to be rules so you all can work together. One of the rules is that you shouldn't be doing things that are causing the others harm. And that's tricky. Like me, I don't really feel the body's pain. So I will go do all sorts of stuff when the body is injured and figure the others are just being whiny or weak when they complain we are hurt or sick and can't do things. So I may feel like I'm doing no harm, but actually I am. I guess that brings me to the next part.

You might find, if you all, the "impostors" included, work towards cooperation, collaboration and communication that everyone has value and things go better. It's really, really hard to do. I think it gets easier over time. Also, the ones you are hating, may not really the ones that should be hated. (Ok, we still sometimes hate E, one of our insiders, but we are working on it.).

As far as your therapist saying you wish you were a real person. My therapist would handle that different. She thinks we are all real and refers to us as people. We don't use the term alters either. I understand that's a term that is used by the psychiatric/therapeutic community and I am not going to freak out if it's used, but I don't feel like it fits us. I mean, who is the alter and who is real? I/we tend to use insiders and outsiders to talk about ourselves. I have had those that tried to label the outsider who does a lot of talking as the core, but that really doesn't work. That's not the one who ... is most fully developed when it comes to feelings and thoughts. I don't think any of us would consider that the "core". So, your therapist may just understand DID differently than how it works for you (assuming you have DID). Or your therapist may have just not accurately communicating what she was trying to get across. Maybe what your t was trying to say, is she knows you wish that you didn't have DID? It might be worth asking her about it.

 

[joeylittle]

I suppose I could ask the psychiatrist to diagnose me, but I am scared she will say I have DID like the others. I let her call me by C's name and I don't think she knows about the erroneous DID diagnosis.

Well, she will have given you some kind of diagnosis, for the purposes of your file, and insurance (if you use any, including for prescriptions).

I tried to tell her that I don't dissociate, because I don't. She didn't really listen though. I also told her that I wasn't depressed, because I'm fine

I'm asking not to be provocative, just to understand - if you don't dissociate, you're not depressed...what symptoms does she think she's treating? Another way to ask that would be, what brought you to a psychiatrist in the first place?

 

[susannahsays]

The psychiatrist has diagnosed Major Depressive Disorder and PTSD. I know because she uses an EMR with a patient access portal that shows the diagnoses.

 

[EveHarrington]

@EveHarrington Are you deliberately trying to provoke me? I have stated that I am not some sort of alter. This is really a trigger for me.

No, I am not trying to provoke you.

What I’m saying is that posting as a multiple, posting as the non-host personality, can be a mindf*ck for those of us who have one personality. Who are we talking to? The next time you post, who will we be talking to? Are you going to remember what we’ve said to you in the past, or not?

I’ve had multiples play mindf*ck games with me and really, it’s not fun. It’s actually quite cruel. I have paranoia issues and I’m not about to figure out exactly who you are and which personality is posting.

Sorry if this sounds rude, but your post indicates that your current personality is NOT the main personality as you hate the personality that owns your given/birth name.

I’m not trying to be offensive to those who have DID. I just struggle to interact with those who have DID and let any/all personalities post on the board.

 

[Ronin]

I’ve had multiples play mindf*ck games with me and really, it’s not fun. It’s actually quite cruel. I have paranoia issues and I’m not about to figure out exactly who you are and which personality is posting.

Eve, it would be awesome if you were not this ableist, on a MI board.
In the long term, multiples playing mind f*ck are not any different than singlets playing mind f*ck, and that accusation at multiples *specifically* is just an ableist trope with that particular disorder.

For someone who is so into parts therapy and appropriating the language of actual dissociation, I would suppose you care to educate yourself better than that.

Similarly, paranoia issues of one poster are theirs to figure out, not a responsibility of another person(s).

This Who Am I Even Talking To? can be, in reverse, rather paranoia inducing for the plural people (as well as sounding trippy, as if people could not keep consistent / sense making about issues of importance just because they are plural.)

The host / core / whoever central like that in a group? Is not always someone responding to the legal name (body name, however you define that), and names can be veery complex issues for those people who live(d) under several of them. Making less assumptions about these things would be nice.

You claim you struggle to interact and so on.... how would you even know? Unless someone identifies themselves, you would not know, and if they do, you still may not know to which extent (and how) they differ from the presenting main... because you are an outsider to that situation.

It would be different if one poster was deliberately abusive, and so on, but that Jekyll & Hyde is, again, a trope of abusers for a reason.... not of multiples it is so often presented as.

And to put the drama flames out before they break out: I am not saying this as a personal jab, but an issue with an argument and set of arguments, run through D.I.D. lenses.

 

[joeylittle]

What I’m saying is that posting as a multiple, posting as the non-host personality, can be a mindf*ck for those of us who have one personality. Who are we talking to?

I'm just going to nip this in the bud. Our policy is for the poster to essentially post in the same voice they joined as. If you observe activity that contradicts this policy, whether in the forums or on chat, please report it.

Back to the OP:

The psychiatrist has diagnosed Major Depressive Disorder and PTSD.

The therapist claims I have DID. I think I just have a few imposters due to schizophrenia. One of the imposters has been diagnosed with PTSD

Have you considered signing a release so that the therapist and the psychiatrist can co-ordinate care? I'd guess that notion would give you some anxiety, but MDD, and/or PTSD, and/or DID, and/or schizophrenia - that's a really broad spectrum, and I'm going to sound like a broken record here - but if in fact you're on the schizophrenic spectrum, it would be good to know. Very very good to know. Not just for you, but for everyone trying to help you.

I have told her things, but I don't like it. I don't really care what she thinks, I just feel all panicky when she starts talking about it. So when she starts in on talking about abuse blah blah, I say I was never abused and try to shut her down.

What are the reasons you are in therapy? Maybe it would help you, to write a bit about what your own goals would be, as opposed to the things you're not wanting to talk about. Or - what symptoms are you trying to get relief from? What do you want help with, from your psych and your therapist?