Can anyone relate to this and help? trauma symptoms returning.

[Heather20]

Hi there, new here.

So I was wondering if anyone can help me out with something. Over 8 years ago I was diagnosed with PTSD, and it was severe. Over the years I managed to control it, talk, heal and grow. However, the past couple of weeks (probably more) I have had panic attacks, nightmares, extreme agitation/irritation, erratic and ever-changing heart rate, and I have no idea why. I have little appetite, have difficulty sleeping, panic about the craziest things and more often than not I'm panicking for no reason.
I am baffled, angry that it has returned and slightly worried. I feel sick regularly the past fortnight and 'unsafe' yet I am in a safe environment.
I have racked my brain over and over; what has caused it to return? Well, I moved country to move in with my partner. We are happy together, I am learning the language quickly and searching for work currently.
I don't want to go back on medication, and the last thing I want is to tell my shit to someone I don't know.

Has anyone had it return and did you work out if there was a reason? What did you do? How long did it stay?
Thanks in advance for your time!!! Happy New Year

xxx

 

[Heather20]

P.S. my panic attacks and nightmares etc, they have nothing to do with what happened. I am not having re-living or re-seeing it in any way, and it isn't on my mind at all. That's why it is so confusing.

 

[Cannottakethis]

Moving to another country with a different language and looking for a job is a stressful situation that, while still positive, can possibly (for me it would be definitely) bring anxiety symptoms. If you're not having flashbacks or trauma related reliving/re-seeing things, it sounds like you may be experiencing more of a generalized anxiety issue than a ptsd issue. If you don't want to take meds, you could still use any grounding techniques you learned, meditation, deep breathing etc to help you calm down during the panic attacks.

I will say that IMO, making such a huge life Change would be anxiety producing for most people, even those without any other "issues".

 

[Heather20]

Thank you so much for the help. What I neglected to add was that it was 13 months ago that I moved, and the country I moved to I was very familiar with and visited regularly, so this is why I just can't blame the move for these feelings and symptoms.
I don't understand why only now it would come to me as opposed to the first few months of the move.
Sorry for not including this.
In addition, I have known my partner since I was a very small child.

 

[Cannottakethis]

Moving is still a big deal. It's considered a major life event. It could be that the first year was a whirlwind of activity and now that the dust is settling the feelings/anxiety are coming to the surface. Being familiar with a place and moving there are very different. Knowing your partner and living with them can be extremely different.
It might not hurt to talk to someone if the symptoms continue. I know it's hard but it's better than walking around in a constant state of anxiety.

 

[Heather20]

This did cross my mind, but I just am not the type to get down and anxious over something like this. I agree it's a massive deal moving house but knowing me, if it was to be the cause of my anxiety it would be much less intense and would have hit in the first six months when things were tough.
Do you know anything about PTSD re-occurance and is there always a trigger? How is it 'cured' the second time round and how long does that take?

 

[Cannottakethis]

I've had my ptsd come back but always with a trigger specific to one of my traumas. I've had to be hospitalized when that happened. But ptsd symptoms typically include flashbacks nightmares memories etc. ptsd isn't cured, it's managed. So I was triggered in August with something specific to my trauma, started outpatient therapy in September, went inpatient in November came home in December and feel pretty great now. But that's just me. Every person is unique. And we change over time.

 

[Justmehere]

It could be that you finally feel safe and settled enough to have unresolved symptoms and feelings surface.

It could also be an anniversary thing. It could even be someone you saw in passing...

Sometimes there is no clear obvious reason for the spike in symptoms.

There is no known cure for PTSD, but symptoms can go into remission again for many people. There is no way to know how long that it will take or if even for sure this is PTSD resurfacing - no one here can diagnose online.

It could also be something medical, like a thyroid imbalance, that is stirring things up. Only a workup by the proper professionals can say for sure. Medications may not be nessecary at all.

Good stress can also fill up out stress cups and cause PTSD symptoms to break through. So many different things could be going on.

Have you looked into seeing a doctor and a therapist about what you are experiencing?

 

[Heather20]

Thanks for opening up it's such a great help to me. It is really appreciated!
Ah okay. Is there any way for me to heal on my own? How do I tone down the extreme levels of panic when they hit, and how do I push down the agitation? If I could understand it maybe I could do something about it. If things here are triggering my PTSD without me knowing, such as homesickness or difficulty adjusting, what does that mean? I'd hate to just give up - that isn't an option. I want to stay here.

 

[Heather20]

It could be that you finally feel safe and settled enough to have unresolved symptoms and feelings s...

Hi there.

Well maybe this is me coming out of remission then. I really don't understand the intensity of the panic or it's cause.
I went to the doctor and she said I should see a therapist (all I had said was I was having panic attacks, and she said either medication or a mental health professional was the route to take) and I was shocked because it's been years, and I just don't know how I would cope with telling my story to someone else. AND the fact that I'd have to think in terms of 'I have PTSD again' and that's the last thing I want.
I think this is just temporary, I just want to understand it though as I feel this would help push it away. But how do I do this

 

[Justmehere]

Trauma symptoms usually don't respond well to being "pushed away." They usually come back later on and in a manner that often floods or overwhelms the person.

It's called the numb-flood cycle, and sometimes it can be spread out over years.

The best way to resolve PTSD is to ride the waves of symptoms and resolve the underlying trauma.

If you are not ready to do therapy that's ok. It's totally your choice.

Did you do therapy with a trauma therapist in the past? Or was it talk therapy with a general therapist? There are trauma therapies that don't require sharing the details of the event. General talk therapy isn't nearly as effective as trauma therapy alone to resolve trauma symptoms.

Grounding skills and DBT skills (lots of free info online about these) can help manage or reduce symptoms and may even be enough to get through this season for you.

One thing I like to do when having panic is to hold ice or something with very cold. It oddly works sometimes to stop trauma in its tracks. 4 square breathing can help as well. Breathe in counting to 4, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, and repeat 4 times.

 

[Heather20]

Trauma symptoms usually don't respond well to being "pushed away." They usually come back later on a...

I found your post so intreresting helpful, thank you. I think i audibilly breathed about 6 signs of relief whilst reading.
I did do talk therapy, for over 5 years. It was extremely helpful in that I developed a fantastic relationship with my worker who taught me how to trust, hope and laugh again. He did often encourage me to get a treatment of some kind such as specific therapies and psychology etc, but I wasn't keen on meeting anyone else, maybe I didn't think i needed the extra help or that there'd be anyone else who'd 'get me' like he did. Anyhow, I was discharged in the end; my choice, I felt great and rarely had any panic of any kind.
So it is very frustrating to be so far on in my life and progress and then have waves of intense panic and fear wash over me and my partner was unfortunate enough to witness a couple of panic attacks.
I will read about grounding skills (I think I exhausted most of the research there is on that in the past!) and DBT which I haven't heard of.
I'll try out the ice tonight and the 4 square breathing too. Thanks again.
By the way, I know that PTSD is known for it's clingy values; "can't be cured" "with you for life" etc, but I genuinely believed I had kicked it. Knowing that maybe I haven't, and that I am indeed stuck in a numb-flood cycle truly sucks. My partner is a very busy person, I don't know how to have this conversation with him and even if I can.