Tornadic Thoughts
VIP Member
The last three years have been the most magical x-mas seasons for me, I'd have to say, as they've been the only ones based on realness, hard-learned truths, and genuine health/life enrichment. Improved health has become my true wealth. The best gift ever.
Truth hurts, even after it's been realized and accepted. The rest of the years I was simply keeping busy trying to live up to the hype, heavily medicating and drinking myself through the emotions, and holding up those necessary masks to "fake it 'til I make it", pleasing all the people who I thought I had to please, not realizing how much actual life that drained out my being, well before and after the "special" day had passed.
I've finally stopped beLIEving in the annually repeated fictional folly that was ingrained in my brain from birth, finally stopped supporting purposeful violence against animals that happens behind closed doors in order to supposedly nourish my body in the typical "celebratory" fashion, finally started loving myself enough to kindly nurture myself daily through each and every one of my choices, and finally stopped letting the expectations of others rule my days, be it a helliday or just another day.
Pure magic, indeed, although it's heart-wrenching to have a front row seat to the daily ongoing chosen painful demise of loved ones who still diligently play all the reindeer games that is expected of them, even when it costs them their health and blatantly robs their quality of life. I can't help but wonder how my life could have been had I been fortunate enough to know these things from birth rather than the script I was given, but that serves no helpful purpose in continuing to wonder.
My discoveries have been magical enough that it helps restore the actual child-like wonder within each day that I missed out on as a kid, thanks to the many who chose to alter my life in the worst of ways. I have a lot of catching up to do! Eye will never again see things the same way eye was taught to see, as the old "traditional" ways bring back all the pain that was forced upon me as an innocent child, and I refuse to keep being swept away by the ongoing ignorance/violence/poor choices like clockwork each year. It's a choice I learned I very much have control over, although I still tend to trip over the past in my pursuits of happiness, as I'm sure I always will.
Cheers to the magic of every single day. It's always there somewhere, I've learned, even if it takes all damn day to find it. Grateful for the circumstances that resulted in me finally clearing the debris of my internal landscape to make more room for some of that awe I missed. Thanks, energy consciousness, for reminding me that I can open and enjoy the gifts of my new presence everyday. May the magic be restored in the hearts who don't feel any as we celebrate each day in our own chosen ways. Peace, for real.
Truth hurts, even after it's been realized and accepted. The rest of the years I was simply keeping busy trying to live up to the hype, heavily medicating and drinking myself through the emotions, and holding up those necessary masks to "fake it 'til I make it", pleasing all the people who I thought I had to please, not realizing how much actual life that drained out my being, well before and after the "special" day had passed.
I've finally stopped beLIEving in the annually repeated fictional folly that was ingrained in my brain from birth, finally stopped supporting purposeful violence against animals that happens behind closed doors in order to supposedly nourish my body in the typical "celebratory" fashion, finally started loving myself enough to kindly nurture myself daily through each and every one of my choices, and finally stopped letting the expectations of others rule my days, be it a helliday or just another day.
Pure magic, indeed, although it's heart-wrenching to have a front row seat to the daily ongoing chosen painful demise of loved ones who still diligently play all the reindeer games that is expected of them, even when it costs them their health and blatantly robs their quality of life. I can't help but wonder how my life could have been had I been fortunate enough to know these things from birth rather than the script I was given, but that serves no helpful purpose in continuing to wonder.
My discoveries have been magical enough that it helps restore the actual child-like wonder within each day that I missed out on as a kid, thanks to the many who chose to alter my life in the worst of ways. I have a lot of catching up to do! Eye will never again see things the same way eye was taught to see, as the old "traditional" ways bring back all the pain that was forced upon me as an innocent child, and I refuse to keep being swept away by the ongoing ignorance/violence/poor choices like clockwork each year. It's a choice I learned I very much have control over, although I still tend to trip over the past in my pursuits of happiness, as I'm sure I always will.
Cheers to the magic of every single day. It's always there somewhere, I've learned, even if it takes all damn day to find it. Grateful for the circumstances that resulted in me finally clearing the debris of my internal landscape to make more room for some of that awe I missed. Thanks, energy consciousness, for reminding me that I can open and enjoy the gifts of my new presence everyday. May the magic be restored in the hearts who don't feel any as we celebrate each day in our own chosen ways. Peace, for real.
