Can gossip ever be a good thing?

[Ronin]

Where does community or friends coming together to support end and gossip start?

I read it as both maliciousness of intent + truthfulness.

As if with a malicious intent, and untrue, gossip, if the intent is not to harm, a variety of things.

 

[Mee]

I read it as both maliciousness of intent + truthfulness.

As if with a malicious intent, and untrue, goss...

So truth good intent is not gossip? I wonder if anyone thinks they gossip then? I mentioned to a friend we were gossiping when talking about the aftermath of my situation and she seemed taken aback and saidwe were talking but I think that’s what most people who gossip must think ?


One of the key things my therapist and today at the mental health assessment I had they said is that talking about things to friends was important.... but .... it ferlsa thin line always between talking and gossip. Because my few friends I can talk to deeply about it are mad or disgusted at the people involved.

 

[Chris-duck]

I think it depends on what is being said and who it's being said to. I think it's natural to talk about other people to friends but there's a line. Breaking someone's confidence is not okay but discussing reactions to what people have done is, to me, okay. I do have a particularly gossipy friend who is known for it n therefore trusted less but I don't think I know many people who never discuss other people.

 

[Mee]

Ok, so here is the other thing.... if it’s known not to trust a ‘particularly gossipy friend’ that’s imparting information,that’s true and meant kindly to who it’s told but not necessarily kindly about who it’s about. Is that gossip? ( not critical but ... trying to find my feet inthis)

 

[Chris-duck]

It depends on how it's said I feel. Like if I said "I don't feel like I can talk to her about it because it might go further" I don't feel that's gossip. But if it was "omg so you should know that she's such a gossip so you shouldn't trust her because..." then that in my opinion is gossip. I understand other people might view it differently because of experiences and culture, but that's my personal feelings on it.

 

[Mee]

It depends on how it's said I feel. Like if I said "I don't feel like I can talk to her about it bec...

I sort of get that.

I also think that a lot of harm is done by people who are very honey-mouthed . i think that could be really well intentioned or the more manipulative type of person. It’s that kind of thing that’s harder to tell, isn’t it? That the straight forward indescrete person or someone who says upfront ‘ I will not hold this information because x ‘

 

[Chris-duck]

Yeah. I think transparency is a big part of it. Like I try to make sure that everything I say about someone I would feel okay if they overheard me say it. I guess that comes back to what the persons intention is in what they're saying. Is it to put someone else down or to explain their own feelings.

 

[mumstheword]

Both myself and my partner have been gossiped about, all over our very small town, by our ex's. Our ex are both very malicious pathologically dishonest deceitful and abusive individuals, so you can.imagine the gossip. In fact before I met my now partner, his ex tried to tell me he "kidnapped" their boys, I already knew her, and took what she said with a grain of salt. I'm not big on gossipers or dishonesty and the gossip just "smelled" and felt wrong. I ended up defending a man I'd never met and said "maybe the boys wanted to spend time with their father (they were 11 and 14 by that stage).
Anyway, we have had nasty lies spread all over about us.
Beware of people who gossip and bitch about others, make sure you know they have good intent and genuineness before you buy into their version of things. You might be getting a very distorted "picture". That's what I've learned anyway. I try to keep busy or keep to myself and be too busy or absent to get caught up in, or be subject to, gossip.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I say no. My family is super gossipy (and claim to be "super christian") amd have hurt me so bad. I mean, they gossip up to a point of printing out shit online and passing it around to the other family members to then gossip and bully me on facebook which became a battle ground and now I refuse to have anything to do with facebook.

I once told one family member something in confidance on purpose to see how long it would take to going all the way around the family and back to my dad. 2 hours! 2 hours it traveled around to about 50 people and then back to my dad. ONLY TWO HOURS!

Gossip only serves to hurt. Its judgemental crap. And I refuse to be a part of it. I have walked away from people...stood mid sentence, not saying a word, and walked away, when people tried to gossip to me about others. I will not take part in something that hurt me that badly. Nope. Sorry. The only way that I will talk to others about other people is when I am hurt or angry and it's about the situation, not about the person. And I keep the conversation on the me, my reaction, my feelings, and the situation, not the person. I can say with certianity that I do not gossip. There is a way to talk about things that happen that involve otuer people without gossiping.

Gossip is never good in my opinion. Never!

 

[blackemerald1]

So I think gossip is never reliable & therefore treacherous ground.

 

[intothelight]

I've never found gossip to be a good thing as many times it is used to organize people "against" something or someone and isn't always based on fact.

 

[EveHarrington]

Gossip usually only has a thread of truth given that it’s been through so many people. I dislike it for this reason.