• We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
  • Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.

Can Moments Of Extreme Trauma Be Totally Blanked Out Of Present Consciousness?

Status
Not open for further replies.
O

oasis2003

Platinum Member
Hi
I have not being on the forum lately mainly because of my stage in recovery . I have most recently done therapy on not dissociating when triggered . This made trauma therapy difficult because as soon as my SUDs were up I used to totally blank out. Due to the therapy I do not dissociate nearly as much. So today I was working on traumatic memories and I actually remembered that the gynaecologist raped me . Not only did he assault me by roughly examining me without my consent, but also turned me over and totally raped me.
I am so in shock it has been in my subconscious all the time. Is this possible. The memory felt so real somatically and with images. When I let this sink in I broke down in tears I have not been able to cry.
So what I am asking you guys is , is this possible? In EMDR I always got to a specific point and blanked got no further and was totally overwhelmed.
 
Great to see you Back Oasis, and glad that you are making progress:hug:

It is entirely possible:
dissociative amnesia

a forum friend has a good paper somewhere on dissociation and some additional F responses; faint and flop, which come along when there's lots of blood around or our bodies get penetrated

the responses seem to be evolutionary and to lull our attackers into not bothering to administer a killing blow to us.

I'll see if I can find it for you.
 
What a terrible memory to have surface!!!! No wonder it's been supressed for a long time. I have almost the exact same trauma as what you've described. It's a terrible thing. Mine happened 4 years ago and I still have so much trouble accepting that such a thing could actually happen - BUT IT DID! I believe you completely... also NOT your fault.

I didn't dissociate at the time, and haven't since when the memories become too much, but I do feel your pain. I hear you loud and clear.

Wish I could help with your dissociation question, but I only have minimal experience with it. I'm sorry about that. Just want you to know that I hear you.
 
I have blanked out almost an entire marriage so I get you. Only a few of the memories are coming back. I don't think the rest ever will. As far as is that real that is something to work out with your therapist
 
Yes it can....I remember being pounced, and staggering away after rape ( I knew by the pain I was in, as well as the state I was in)...but nothing in between. I'm personally thankful I can't.

It must be an absolute shock for you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Donation drives

2026 Donation Goal

Goal
$1,800.00
Earned
$910.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  50.6%
Donate

Trending content

Featured content

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom