I will add the link below, but I feel kind of embarrassed and have to explain something first :p One of the comments may seem familiar if have read any of my posts. One year after the sexual assault 15 years ago, I guess I went into total flight mode and went backpacking with a girl I met at the rape crisis center, from group meetings. We went backpacking in Peru (talk about avoidance, I loved to travel and it sounded so perfect, at the time, because I had always wanted to go backpacking and Peru has some of the most amazing places I wanted to see and experience for myself...also had to prove to "myself" I was stronger than ever and could get through all this...boy was I on the totally wrong path but did not know it at the time). Anyway, Eminem's music happened to be playing all around Peru in 2002 and it was the Slim Shady album and I would hear it everywhere we visited, they really liked it down there. I started listening to the words and found it related to me in ways (different alter egos is how he explains it, I believe), that I had the little girl in me (had done two sessions a week of CBT for almost a year at that point) that was one part of myself, I had the 20-something afraid gal in me who was assaulted, and I had the very strong woman in me who always fought. I didn't know him well and was in a third world country with no internet connection, backpacking, while this was all happening. Plus, I decided after what happened to me, and being judged by so many others, I am NOT going to judge others based solely on what other people say, but going to do research on my own on anyone/everyone - I love the movie 8 Mile so much, and can relate to a lot of it and can watch it over and over again...actually, I'm going to watch it now, after I type this LOL. I especially love the song "Lose Yourself!" Perhaps it's the writer in me??
Anyway, long story short, I'm trying something new out - I created three different usernames to see if I can tell when I am in which place...ok, I know that may sound funny but I have not recognized my triggers for 15 years, until after this past Nov when I attempted suicide. I'm just trying to see if I can tell the difference so if you see a different username asking a question and it sounds like my story (again, if read any of my previous posts), this is why it lists a different username (I'm a dorky writer sometimes, I know).
Shoot...after writing all that, the post will not allow me to add the link - keep getting an error message about link does not meet requirements and email addresses are never allowed?? I will try emailing it to you Pixel. Maybe you can post it in the thread because I have no idea what's wrong, being on this site only three different days now.
