Can Ptsd Make Us Dumb?

[Philippa]

I just realized something. He is being self-abusive as well, which may be why I was drawn to be around him that night? Like attracts like, and I don't think he really likes himself very much. I used to be that way, but I started working on it and whilst I sometimes fall back into old ways, I'm much better at liking myself than I used to be.

He was punishing me for cutting dad off, and I wanted to be punished, so it was a mutual transaction in destruction.

 

[Ted Moen]

Yeah...I just wish I was more aware at the time, of these impulses, and the thoughts that lead to them, before I go doing stupid stuff like this and making myself look like a joke to harsh people, instead of looking at it "all in hindsiight.

One of our biggest challenges is learning to identify the relatively minor symptoms that precede major symptoms. When we are experiencing the relatively minor symptoms we are probably still able to manage our behavior. Once we are experiencing major symptoms it is probably too late. By then the feelings are so intense we will "fight, flight or freeze" regardless of what is actually appropriate in our current situation.

The tool I learned was to associate a stop sign with certain situations. STOP - Danger One Mile Ahead. For example, I had to go to a hearing related to SSD. In the waiting area the had a security guard with a pistol in a holster on his hip. He was an obese, out of shape person. He wore his uniform sloppily. The cover to his holster was not fastened. Sloppy use of firearms is a big trigger for me (former military). I immediately find a seat far away from the security guard and make myself sit down and wait for my name to be called. What I really want to do is to take the security guard's weapon from him, shoot the receptionist, then return his weapon to him reminding him he needs to be more careful with his firearm. I have to let that thought pass. Trying to stuff it will only make it more intense. I experience and assortment of anxiety symptoms and gradually shift my focus to deep admoninal breathing and the feeling of the air flowing in and out. I look at the receptionist. I tell myself she has not done anything to deserve that. I remind myself I have a book on my phone I am reading and shift my attention reading to pass the time. Eventually my name is called.

In the past I would have immediately confronted the security guard about being sloppy with his firearm. The feelings would have gone from intense to out of control before he had a chance to respond. The result would have been "fight, flight or freeze." I would have removed myself or been removed from the waiting area and would have not been there when my name was called.

On less intense feelings the tool is to simply challenge the behavior. I know I will suddenly feel a need to buy something when certain moods are passing. So I will feel a need for a new golf club. Do I really need the club? Probably not. Can I afford the club this month? If so do I really want to use my money for that this month. Sometimes I decide to go ahead and reward myself, sometimes I don't. I draw out the process long enough for the old feeling to pass and if I still want the club and I can afford it it's ok ;)

Ted

 

[mamachick]

I have a traumatic brain injury as well as ptsd and it is difficult to seperate which symptoms belong where. Memory loss, lack of concentration, distractability, etc can be either. It has been explained to me that the TBI is minimal which is hopeful (I think-if I remember correctly) because what is ptsd can come back or stabilize. A year ago, I could not concentrate to participate in this forum.

Depression, anxiety, panic, sleep disturbances, nutrition, nightmares, family conflicts, memories of abuse, etc are all going to effect our concentration.

I started playing a game on Pogo for hand eye coordination etc. I can only get 30,000 points. My daughter played one time and got 80,000 points. Im not an idiot. First my daughter said she thought that I had a delayed response time. After playing another 50 times, I realized that I loose the bonus points by moving impulsively since it is time limited. I think I might do this because in my mind-I think I must react quickly, and I make a move and immediately know, as sh#@-shoulnt have done that.

Phillippa-I have read many of your posts, you are not a bit dumb. I would bet that you are very intellegent and yes, ptsd it having effects. And, intellegent people are sensative to subtle changes in behavior/thinking and intellegence. You are also very compassionate with others and insightful. I also relate to how you feel because I feel it too. I get it when I hear someone else being hard on themselves.

 

[Philippa]

Why thankyou Brat17 for your kind words. I'm letting myself soak them up right now.

I know I am quite intelligent, which makes it even worse when I do dumb things like this, or more precisely, am self-abusive and self-punishing towards myself and walk into the lion's den (metaphorically), as I did with my brother. He is a very mean person and I knew what I was in for.

In any case, I feel like I have gained some self-awareness and insight from this experience, so that's the main thing. I think we are both self-abusive at the moment...probably him more than me as he abuses weed on a regular basis and has for years. He probably has ptsd himself, but isn't addressing it the way I do.

Yes, all these things affect memory and concentration, you're right. I think if truth be told, I also have a mild brain injury from all the times I would dive too deeply in the shallow parts of the pool as a child. I must have done it a dozen times as a kid, and it may even be the reason I would have strange dizzy spells as a teenager and have to gently lower myself to the floor before I fainted. It was like a mild epileptic seizure or something? I want to have a catscan performed as soon as I can afford it, just to get to the bottom of it, as it's been going on for 20 years now. Intense headaches in just one section of my brain, dizziness and fainting spells...all without warning or reason.

I have come to see, at work, where my brain turns off, and the mistakes I make due to lack of concentration...and it is hard to not be hard on myself. I literally question my sanity on a daily basis there, which isn't good for my mental health. I am in the process of starting up a home-based business selling Herbalife products from a website, so hopefully, that will turn out to be something that I like doing and will not compromise my mental health this way...fingers cross...if all goes well I will be able to travel this year some time, and fulfill this dream of mine to travel the world, which I didn't get to do as planned in my twenties, due to trauma and depression and choosing to recover and pull myself out of the pit instead.

 

[Sqweak]

PTSD . I have a tendency to buy a new golf club or some kind of techie thing when certain moods and feelings are passing, even though I have no logical need for the item in my current situation.
Ted

WOw Ted, you and I do the same, I always buy things i don't really need but i want. Unfortunately I can legitimize the reasons why i'm buying it, lol I've taken to many marketing classes so I always walk out feeling like I've fulfilled my quota of " false needs" for the day :roflmao:. Though I do ted to spend all of my money at one time because i'm scared someone will take it from me. It definitely feed my anxiety.

 

[mamachick]

Phillippa your brother sounds like my sister. I am 52 and she is 7 years older. I know she probably has ptsd as well but she belittled me back in the 80's when I talked about co-dependency. Now I just deal with my own stuff and have still shared, but she uses it against me so often that I have decided to discontinue any contact.

She doesnt do any drugs and I dont think she drinks-but she is as mean as a snake. She corrects everyone else-what they should eat, buy, how they should parent, where they should live or work etc. She has called me a spoiled brat my entire life and calls my kids the same. ( I have always had a positive attitude and a lot of resiliency until the past 4-5 years.) She has hated my positive attitude and because I dont complain to her, she says I always get what I want, things are easy, blah blah blah. Basically she has done nothing much for all her life, 3 husbands (all dead) now, and demanding and abusing others. Total denial. I guess I just got to the point that I had enough as contact with her effect my physical health and attitude. I know that it takes a lot of energy to deal with people such as this and I know my energy could be used for something positive, so im giving it a try.

 

[Philippa]

Sounds like you made a good decision for you.

I have contemplated the same with my own brother. His special raison d'etre seems to be humiliating me in front of his friends for his own amusement and trying to convince me that I'm to blame for the dysfunction in our family...which is clearly wrong and childish of him and the problem clearly lies with him if he needs to resort to such tactics, and were if not for the fact that he actually made some effort to see things from my point of view and apologized for bringing up past stuff to make me feel bad, I would have cut him off there and then forever. I'm willing to work through things with people who show me that they are willing to do the same and learn to communicate better, and admit when they are being douches...but I won't waste my time with people who aren't willing to do so or admit to having any part to play in conflict but just keep throwing blame at me. It can't work when only one person is willing to be honest and communicate effectively.

My supervisor at work sounds very similar to your sister. She's always calling everyone a moron. I'm sure she thinks I'm a moron too for the mistakes I make. She is funny, but very mean, and she NEVER stops talking. She is a very difficult person to deal with at times, especially when I'm not feeling at my best, and her constant rambling and abuse of others behind their back just starts to wear me down after a while. It can be very draining to be around people like that. Thank goodness I only work 2.5 days a week, or I'd go mad.

 

[mamachick]

Im glad your brother takes some responsibility-a step in the right direction. That is hopeful. The best if is families can work conflicts out, sometimes I guess the pain is just too deep for some. I acknowledge that she is very hurt and am willing to listen if she was not always attacking. I almost wish my sister did it behind my back, she is outspoken and says what on her mind even when not asked and not her business, then she says "Well shouldnt I be honest" UMMM, not really. Not when nobody asked for your opinion. Actually, she is very much like a dry drunk. Ok, I apologize, this is not rant and rave. Sounds like you are working things out and that is awesome.

 

[Philippa]

That's ok...rant away if it helps.

Yes, my father is like your sister...he just can't help himself...but you'd better not do the same to him or HIS feelings will be hurt, and HIS feelings are all that matters. I don't know why people like that can't just keep their mouths shut? I've never been able to work it out. I think they are missing a part of their brain that other decent people have?

My supervisor at work is very much this way too. She called my brother a dick the last time I mentioned when he played a trick on me, which I actually found quite funny. He kept trying to convince me that the picture of the dragon on his wall was really a photo of Al Capone, and kept it up, acting all confused as to why I couldn't see that it was Al Capone, when it clearly was not! I never for a minute took him seriously and thought it was amusing that he was even trying to convince me otherwise. Later in the evening, I turned around and there was a photo of Al Capone on the wall...he'd switched them when I wasn't looking, just to mess with me, but it was all in a playful way. He can be quite funny at times as well. Nobody is all bad or all good. We're all a mix of both.

When I told her about it she called him a dick...which he may well have been, though it was harmless as I didn't fall for it. It's fine for ME to call him a dick, but for her it just feels funny that she would say that. Yes, on some level he was being a dick...which I said to him at the time for trying to mess with my head, and if I had actually been that silly to believe him, then it would have been quite mean of him, but he knew I didn't believe him, so it wasn't a big deal.

 

[karissa]

one of the symptoms of ptsd is lack of concentration, lack of focus, or dissociative symptoms. you may feel dumb but you are not. your brain may be soaked by trauma memories and your brain is reacting to it making no room to focus on the more important daily stuff. once you learn grounding skills...you will use them when feeling overwhelmed and you will not feel "dumb" anymore. you will feel more in contact with life. control over your past not your past's control over you. try to get your brain out of the clouds and bring them to the present with mindfulness. takes time to master and learn but you can do it. DBT!

 

[Philippa]

Thanks. I do do a lot of grounding. I practise meditation and seeing my 'roots' going into the earth daily and place my awareness on my feet firmly on the ground whenever I remember. It has taken many years to get to the point where I can understand (just), what people are saying to me...except when they talk really fast, like my supervisor at work.

I used to be a LOT more lacking in concentration and could barely focus a few years ago...I've come quite a long way since then, but still have my off days.

What does DBT stand for by the way? I'm pretty sure the B and T are for behavioral therapy, but I'm stuck on the D?

 

[anthony]

No, PTSD does not make you dumb.

Symptoms are just that, symptoms... all symptoms of PTSD with the exception of anxiety and often depression, are removable from your daily life.