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Can You Force Yourself To Love Someone....

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Hi J,
Sorry that you have had two bad experiences in a row.

Don't worry about not being attracted to the guy - the "chemistry" of attraction will probably keep surprising you for ever more with the way it works and the ways that it refuses to work.

there's no way that you are going to manage to force it - and the guy has demonstrated by his actions, that he is too immature for you.

The bit of the brain that actually deals with physical attraction is very small and it is certainly not very bright, and that is easy to demonstrate - alcohol tends to mess up brain circuits, that's how it works. The more complex a circuit, the more neurons and synapses in it, the more alcohol messes up its operation.
Look what happens to people when they drink - and how suddenly they start finding far more people attractive than they ever did when they were sober. that's the alcohol knocking the more complex circuits out and leaving the simpler ones relatively less affected.

I'm not saying that that circuit in humans is identical with the circuit in the brains of slugs - but they manage just fine (and they're doing it with 2 sets of bits each - male and female), and they're not exactly very bright, or very selective.

You are very bright, by anyone's standards - so you are likely to take far more factors into account than most people will, with any decision that you make. and that's good.

He will now be spreading rumors about me to everyone at the college. I feel shit about it :( :cry:
perhaps he might not, but if he does, it will say more about him than it does about you
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fox_and_the_Grapes
 
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.....when you are not attracted to them? I mean you are the same emotional level but not physically...

Hi. You asked then answered your own question. I agree with you that there must be chemistry/attraction for a romantic relationship.
Maybe the nice guy can't/won't/shouldn't be your friend. Personally, I can't go from romantically invested to just friends.
Are you safe from another ex attack? Did you report to somebody? Immediate & Forever "No Contact" is my advice.
 
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Personally I believe the best relationships start out as friends. You tend to be more real with each other in the beginning than you do when you are dating and you tend to already know the ugly early on. Jmo
 
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