Can You Or Do You Ever Just Let Go And Let Yourself Dissociate?

[BlackbirdSinging]

I also started to feel a bit alien as people so often talk about how disturbed they are by dissociating. I do suspect that those of us who are not always freaked by dissociation are less common.

I can SO relate to this! I'll be reading about people being scared of it and I start feeling like I'm alone in not being scared of it. To me it sometimes feels deep and heavy and weird but it feels so much better than whatever is causing me to choose to do it. Like when my mom starts yelling at my dad and calling him names. Or when people start talking about things that are stressors to me and I can't physically get up and leave I'll sit there and decide to dissociate. I noticed I'll also do it when something stressful is starting to happen and I really don't want to be upset or get involved in it. It really is like an escape.

 

[CVC]

Sometimes I like to call it a "superpower." :)

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

a "superpower." :)

I love that :D!

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Have you read the dissociation thread in the article section?

I think I might have at some point. I should read it again.

 

[Abstract]

I can SO relate to this!

Thats exactly what prompted that thread of mine. I knew there were a few others from previous conversations but still started feeling very alien from reading threads on here.

Until relatively recently the only time I was afraid of dissociating was an instance where my body was going to commit suicide and I was way away from it and trying to stop it but it wouldn't "listen". I have had to develop some fear of some types of dissociation through building awareness. Being unable to move or respond isn't always a helpful defence when one goes there automatically! Nor is just temporary deleting information when one is threatened. ;) My natural state of being is pretty much zero reaction to dissociation, or relief.

 

[Jane.l]

I relate to this too and I would say I am ok with dissociating in that I am not scared by it . It is helpful when you choose to do it but I do find it frustrating when it just kicks in when I don't want it to - like when I am trying to talk to my T !

Then it can freak me out because it often happens just before a flashback . I actually dissociate in a very similar way to how you described .

 

[aka]

It's the same thing every time. I'll sit down and stare at the floor or even out of a window. And I let my mind go blank and I'll feel that familiar spacey fog surround me. I'm not scared and it doesn't hurt. It almost feels like a mix of meditation and dissociation. I'm there in the room I'm aware but I'm not talking or interacting with anyone. And it's like my feelings just kind of turn off.

I have been doing this exact thing in meetings at work. I sometimes get very nervous about being in a small conference room with so many people. I feel myself becoming overwhelmed and allow the foggy feeling to take over. I am still aware of the what is going on I even move my head sometimes so no one notices my staring state. It does have its drawbacks since I am very tired and lethargic afterwards. My therapist says that the reason I am so tired afterwards is that it takes a lot of emotional energy to dissociate like that. But it is still better then freaking out in the middle of a work meeting.

 

[Hope4future]

I can relate to all that's been said and it's good to know I'm not alone.

 

[Hashi]

I've always been able to do this, for as long as I can remember. I assumed everyone could and was surprised when I found out they couldn't.

For me it's a mixed blessing. It does get me through things, including suicidal ideation, but it makes it too easy for me to avoid dealing with things at all (feelings, problems, responsibilities).

I posted in the other thread, dissociation itself doesn't scare me but I'm started to get scared about how it lets me neglect my life.

 

[Barconian]

Yes I do it as well, I do it to rebuild my inner strength, albeit I find it hard to switch on again if someone visits or rings, because my mind is too foggy to interact and it takes a good hour or so to become active again. People find it hard to relate with me at these times and I feel embarrassed about it.

 

[DMerish]

I can relate to all that's been said and it's good to know I'm not alone.

^^^ Ditto ^^^

Like Hashi, it doesn't scare me, but it's disturbing how much I allow it to happen and as a result neglect other areas of life.

 

[Leah123]

Does anyone else do or experience this? Is it even possible? Is anyone else not totally scared of dissociating?

I can dissociate at will also, though I usually prefer almost anything to that state, and try hard to avoid it. Inadvertent dissociation is rare for me these days. I am scared of it though, as useful as it is, I hate the side effects. Still, I'm not nearly so scared of it now as when I was younger. I appreciate the benefits more now that I recognize it so well as a coping device and am more confident that it won't last forever. When I was a child and adolescent, I had little understanding or control of it, the feelings and situations I separated from were hard to deal with and it was so hard to reconnect with my emotions too, my sense of being grounded- that was the scariest part I think.