Can't Go Back Now

[Hellvena]

Okay so I've been going from therapist to therapist for years now, and I've had this one (I'll call him P here) for a few months, but we don't seem to get anywhere and we get in constant discussions. Last time, I walked out halfway crying because P was calling me a liar and kept yelling at me. I don't know if he even really wants the best for me. I think he wants bad stuff and I asked him if I could switch therapists and he said no. I don't even no for sure why I think he wants bad stuff so it might all just be in my head. But how do I go back now? I haven't seen P for 2 weeks and the last time I saw him was when I walked out on him. I really don't know how to talk to him about how I disliked what happened, because he always interrupts me and makes me feel inferior. What to do?

 

[Fadeaway]

Holy crap, sounds like you T has more issues than you do. Do not go back. Simple as that. His behavior is unethical.

 

[Hellvena]

Holy crap, sounds like you T has more issues than you do. Do not go back. Simple as that. His behavior...

I'm just so scared that I'm overreacting you know. What if I'm really just imagining that he's treating me badly and it's not actually bad, I just think it is? Does that make sense? P told me I'm prone to misinterpreting things and also I'm apparently a very emotional person so maybe that's just it? I don't know how I can tell the difference...

 

[Deleted member 29920]

He called you a liar and yelled at you, those are MAJOR boundary crossings in therapy, please get rid of him.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I forgot to ask if you are seeing him privately or if he's part of an organisation? Also noticed you are in a different country but it should have similar policies as the Bacp here in Britain. The following links should give you an idea of good therapeutic practice:
http://www.bacp.co.uk/ethical_framework/

https://www.keele.ac.uk/media/keele...s/healthandconduct/BACP-Ethical-Framework.pdf

Therapist qualities are explained on the following link:
Link Removed

Note particularly - a therapist should be non-judgemental.

 

[expectingbetter]

You need to stand up for yourself and make the most out of that therapeutic process. There can be difficult moments in therapy as well as in relation between the client and a therapist. But the therapy itself is a place where you are supposed to try to deal with that and other problems you have. So be brave enough to confront your T, and to tell him honestly how you felt last time, you owe that to yourself. I am not saying that you need to keep having therapy with him exactly but I think you should express your opinion and your feelings especially those connected to your mutual relation. And you don't have to apologize for something you feel. And please don't feel inferior towards him, though I understand you completely bcs I often see my therapist as a sort of God, but I know that's not how we should feel about as we are important as much as they are, and their only job is to help us, sympathize with us and show us how to make a necessary changes in our lives. They are not there to yell or to call us liars.
So I wish you to have courage to sit in front of him and say loudly how he made you feel and then, after trying to solve that misunderstanding between you two if you are still uncomfortable with him try to find the new one. I wish you all luck.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

You need to stand up for yourself and make the most out of that therapeutic process. There can b...

That's an important point, therapists are not Gods, they're only specialists in one subject and are human

 

[Hellvena]

He called you a liar and yelled at you, those are MAJOR boundary crossings in therapy, please get rid of him.

but what if he's right? Not that I was lying, but... he's gotta be right in a way right? maybe I was overreacting or smth. he's my T, he wouldn't say just anything would he? maybe I should apologise to him for my behaviour and just... hope he's not angry.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

but what if he's right? Not that I was lying, but... he's gotta be right in a way right? maybe I was ov...

I really don't think you're overreacting but you could try to discuss it with him if you want to, personally, I wouldn't go back to a therapist who spoke to me like that

 

[expectingbetter]

Please don't think of yourself as a liar.
And please don't apologize at least to your T for what you are. You do actually have a right even to overreact, and it's not his duty to judge you but to find out together with you why you are reacting that way and to help you change what you would like to change in your behaviour. It's not his call to choose what is wrong with you and to try to make you to change what he wants.
And I think that's not a healthy feeling in a therapeutic process for one T to be angry with a client, he can though be frustrated if he feels he is not helping you enough but angry not.
I wish you didn't blame yourself for his reactions and I hope you will have the strength to go through that misunderstanding from the last session with him again, with no yelling, just step by step. How can you at all have a confidence in smbd who yell at you? Ask yourself that question so you are maybe going to be capable to expect much better for yourself at the next session. Just be strong enough to verbalize your feelings and thoughts. I support you completely.