Cat Problems

[hodge]

I guess this falls under social even though it really aggravates my PTSD. We adopted two kittens last fall because we thought our cat Robert needed cat companionship after his buddy took off last spring. Well, it gotten from bad to worse. He not only doesn't accept especially the male kitten but he lunges after him. He's always growling at them and keeping them away from us. We hate this. And we don't know what to do. We finally both admitted to each other that we've gotten to the point of thinking about trying to adopt him to some other family who doesn't have other cats. We hate to do this. We still love him, though we're not crazy about him anymore, much less his behavior toward our kittens. But this has turned into a bullying situation, where he lunges and strikes out at the male kitten in particular. We just feel we cannot let this go on in our house. It's just awful. Anyone have any thoughts about how to remedy this?

 

[Kintsugi]

I would rehome the kittens instead. If you got kittens because you were worried your cat needed a companion, but he clearly is not having it, the original purpose of the kittens has backfired. Kittens are also a lot easier to rehome than adult cats, even though there are two of them. I would never rehome an animal I had a longer history with in favor of the new animal, especially a baby, which has a much higher chance of finding a new home and adapting much more easily.

 

[hodge]

You make good points, Simon. Although, another reason we adopted the kittens is that we made a commitment to a friend of ours. Unfortunately, we've grown a lot more attached to the kittens now and are really angry with our older cat. Maybe you're right, though. I don't know what to do. We just can't keep on having this bullying situation in our home!

 

[anonymous]

I think its sort of heartless to give up your older cat just because he doesn't take well to the new kittens, especially since you no longer like him because he's been acting out. You don't sound like a responsible pet owner IMHO.

 

[hodge]

Thanks for your opinion.

 

[hodge]

We love Robert and we don't want to give him up, but we don't want to give up the kittens, either. We've gotten too attached to them. There is an animal whisperer 30 miles from here and we're thinking of taking Robert to her. It would cost a lot, but would be worth it, especially if she could help with this situation.

 

[Sammyiam]

I would try and spoil Robert, he is feeling like he is not your favourite any more. Always feed him first and make him the head of the pecking order, giving him pats first etc. he needs to feel like he is still the head of the house, it's easy to forget about him a bit when you have cute little kittens etc. he is just feeling left out and needs to know he was there first and that you still love him the most and then he will accept the kittens and they will all blend in to one family.

It happens lots when new puppies or kittens come Into a house, they tend to get all the attention and the older ones feel left out so they start to act out and be naughty to get your attention.

 

[The Albatross]

Are your males neutered and is the female spayed? If not, I'd encourage doing so. Some toms assert dominance - cat's have a hierarchy and he may be asserting his position over the younger male.

Does each animal have their own bowl or do they share?

Also, some cats are more territorial than others... does he have a place that he prefers? Are there any high places that he can go to retreat to when he doesn't want interaction with the kittens? Each of my cats (6) has a place that is their's to retreat to in our home. When an animal has passed or a new one comes in... the dynamic shifts and the hierarchy of the group reshuffles. I have successfully had two toms in our household for over 20 years.

Edited because I see they've been in you home since last fall.

Also I use a water bottle/squirt bottle to change behavior of the cats when necessary, I always say "No" twice but the third time, they get a squirt.

 

[NIKI]

Wow! Your going to get "rid" of your long loved cat because he doesn't get along with new kittens you brought into "his" home because you like them better now? Wow just wow...I feel bad for your first cat, he would be better off in another place just to get away from you instead! :tdown:

 

[digger]

really angry with our older cat.

You're angry at your cat for behaving like a cat?!!!! :facepalm::wtf:.........actually, no.......I need to step away from this one....:mad::arghh;

 

[Kintsugi]

I understand the attachment problem, but that's part and parcel of bringing new animals home. I adopted my pit mix knowing that in 1-2 years I could have to give him up for dog aggression. I'm not totally out of the weeds, yet, although he is 18 months with no sign of dog aggression. Nevertheless, I knew every day and still know that he could come into his temperament and go after one of my older dogs.

I just had to have a talk with my partner about our pit puppy, about how she could develop DA and that would be the end of that. About how if she bites a human with no warning she needs to be put down (as it points to unfixable problems due to poor breeding).

If my pits got into a fight and I couldn't separate them with a break stick, I wouldn't hesitate about which one to save. I have an obligation and made a commitment to the first members of our family, to ensure their quality of life, safety, and health.

Don't take this to mean I don't really love them. I am insanely attached to my young pit mix. He is capable of feats my older dog would never be able to do. I have spent every day since I brought him home working with him for hours on tricks and behavior modification. He is my magnum opus of dogs at the moment.

I am not unsympathetic at all. It's a shitty situation, but it's a possibility I take solemnly into account when bringing new animals into the menagerie.

I will say I've never worried about this among cats. My mother-in-law has five cats, and they achieved their own pecking order. They lay a quick smack down on one another regularly, no serious fights though.

I got my kittens (who are now my mother's cats) from a farm that had 40 cats living there due to being dropped off (abandoned) unfixed etc. on the farm. They had a very sophisticated hierarchy, and I never saw a true cat fight (torn off ears, bloodied eyes, dead cats) break out. Just a "No, I'm the boss in this situation" spat every now and then between older cats and younger upstarts. 39 cats would wait while a 15-year-old cat named Princess ate first. Sometimes an adolescent kitten would try to approach the food, and Princess would give a quick right hook and go back to eating her fill. When she was done, the cats came in waves, like there were pre-defined platoons of cats whose turn it was. Really amazing to watch. They ate a 30# bag of food every day out of a horse trough.

 

[hodge]

Oh boy, this will teach me to post in the heat of the moment! No, we could never actually give up Robert. I was just really venting. It was a particularly bad day and we were both feeling at the end of our rope.

Yes, Albatross, all our cats are spayed and neutered.

And we do give Robert extra attention, give him treats first, etc. He still always gets to sit on my husband's lap.

And our guys have never gotten into a fight. Robert just lunges or growls at the male kitten once in awhile. Other times they play together. Go figure.