Chaos All Around During Therapy Session

[Leanne1]

I was just attempting to work on a very difficult memory for the first time.

I was struggling to not disassociate.

Then my therapists dog starts barking at a painter right outside her window who is talking loud on his phone. She yells at her dog to be quiet, and I get a glimps of her angry. I start feeling triggered. Then she starts feeding the dog some popcorn.

I feel foolish. She kept encouraging me to trust that she won't judge me. I told her something I have never told anyone. I don't think she judged. I don't think she cared enough to judge.

What am I doing.

 

[FindingMyself88]

Why does she have her dog with her? From my point of view, it is unprofessional of her to have the dog (unless its a service animal) seeing as it can be what it was, a distraction.

 

[greenleaf]

I like your cat photo; a relaxed safe cat... No barking dogs and yelling therapists! It doesn't sound like she has a good office space set up to do trauma therapy in, if she really understands trauma issues at all...

 

[junglegirl]

Dogs are intelligent and very healing animals. I wouldn't trust anyone who mistreated a beautiful dog. If she mistreats a dog in anger she will act out in anger against people. It sounds chaotic and if you don't feel safe with her ask her to recommend some other trauma therapists. It's nothing personal and you don't have to give her a reason. Best of luck.

 

[ghotiff]

I feel for you. That combination of events is horrible.

Anger is such a trigger for me ... I don't know how I would have coped.

 

[billie]

The painter outside would of been enough for me not to open up. Hey, but good on you for being able to say what you needed to say. Maybe your next visit just bring up the distractions as a conversational piece, if she is smart enough she will read in-between the lines and take on board what your needs are. Personally, I would of shut down. You sound like you have some inner strength, that's cool :)- Good luck.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

She sounds incredibly professional.

"oh, I know you're telling me one of the most horrific things that has ever happened to you, but it's more important to feed my dog POPCORN!"

*shakes my head*

I think she played hooky the day that empathy was handed out in therapy school. I'm sorry this happened to you.

 

[Leanne1]

Thank you for your input on this. I kept trying to make it all ok in my mind while it was happening.

But today, it's like I am having images of sitting there with all of that happening, while having had let some memories come to the surface...... I felt like there was a huge argument inside of me. I was really struggling with feeling hurt by her, and REALLY not wanting to be.

 

[zeckster81]

I followed you because I love your picture! As for your therapist, it sounds as if she does not have a lot of trauma experience work. I would tell her how you feel and if you don't get a good result find a new therapist.

 

[Hashi]

I don't know whether she's a trauma therapist, how long you've been seeing her, if she has helped you so far. Or why the dog was in the room. Did you give permission for that? Did she ask you if it was OK?

If she's an appropriate person for you to see and things have been OK with her until now, then I think you need to tell your therapist how this made you feel. Hard as it will probably be.

Even good therapists make mistakes sometimes. A painter talking loudly on his phone may not have been her fault (unless she could have done something about it). The dog barking might also have been impossible for her to foresee. I would imaging giving the dog popcorn was an attempt to stop the distraction as quickly as possible, rather than taking time out with the dog. I'd imagine that her getting angry with the dog was a bad mistake, but may have come from concern at the effect on you and your session.

Of course, those things may not be the case and she may have been uncaring, unprofessional and inconsiderate. But if she's otherwise been a good therapist then it's worth at least trying to work this out with her.

What I don't think will work is continuing to see her with this unsaid between you.

Would you feel able to talk to her about it?

 

[Leanne1]

@Hashi
I am not sure if I will be able to talk to her about this. I might be able to mention how difficult my last session was.

She is a trauma therapist, and also along with adults, does work with children. The dog helps her work with them because they relax petting the dog and playing with it. It is small and usually just sits in the corner. Occasionally it will jump up on my lap....

I have been seeing her since December. She can be pretty empathetic I guess. Although I think she has heard the different details of so many different traumas she seems to think they aren't that big of a deal. She said she just views those things as in the past, and they aren't happening now, and she is just helping people process the places they get stuck in "trauma time" using emdr.

She usually, at the end of a session will have me put the memories we are working on in a container. She 100% expects for nothing to come up during the week. That's not my experience. I am starting to feel like I am doing something wrong when I have difficulty during the week.

At the end of the last session I told her that I will go every 2 weeks which I think she wants. I told her that I thought that would be hard for me since during the week, when I have difficulty, I remind myself that I am working on all this stuff and will see her soon. I said maybe I might be to dependent, and she agreed that its best not to depend on her and our meetings to much. I finally gave in to waiting 2 weeks because I felt so scared being there at the end if the session. I didn't know what was happening right then, but now see how unsafe I felt.

I had felt very trusting of her, and then all o a sudden she seemed like a different person, and I didn't want to go back again.

I know I will have to talk to her.

So overwhelmed right now.

 

[zeckster81]

If you don't mind I am going to be slightly direct but know it is out of love and concern.

There is absolutely no way she can expect you to wait until you meet again for these memories to come back up. That is not how the mind works. THings will trigger them. You are not doing anything wrong if they do come back up. While I agree you shouldn't depend on her for grounding, she should realize that there may be some really difficult times outside of therapy sessions in which you may need to call.

I'm not saying daily or weekly, but here and there if something comes up and you are really struggling and need a little aid a good therapist will occasionally speak with clients outside of session.

My Therapist is an amazing trauma therapist. While he does ask me to try to contain until next time, he also gives me tools just in case I cant. we work on grounding tools to use outside of session. Most of my flashbacks occur outside of session. IT would be amazing if they only occurred in that safe place!!! Judd does allow me to call in between if it is necessary. I rarely do it because I know he is busy and has a family, but I know i can count on him if an emergency arrises.

He always says I know I better pick up my phone if your number comes across it because you are not a client that abuses that privalage. I've been working with Judd for 5 years he has never made me feel like I am doing something wrong in between sessions. Even if I do fail at the grounding techniques. You are doing the best you know how. Trust yourself and what you need. Maybe trying another therapist if the next few sessions do not go well. She could have had a bad week too.