Cheque’s haven’t been cashed in 6 weeks

[mumstheword]

I think it's a little negligent on her part. It's her responsibility to show consideration to her clients, not to neglect a responsibility of her's and thus add stress to her (obviously) already-dealing-with-enough-stress client.
But sounds like it's easily solved.

 

[gealach]

why the huge shock if it's expected? IDK, because we're human and allowed to still be momentarily shocked by things we know are coming? (see almost every movie ever made, something you know is coming will still make you jump).

Why is this being grossly exaggerated to "fault" and "blame" and financial irresponsibility? How did that even enter the equation? And.... what does that have to do with the OP's situation, besides nothing?

The OP hasn't written about having double spent the money, not allocated the money, is going into overdraft, is NSF, thinks the money isn't gone when they sign the cheques, or any other kind of financial dumbassery. The OP did write about valid emotions and questions about the situation, which ultimately is: the cheques aren't being cashed, this is not SOP, this is an issue, and now looking for advise.

 

[Bluejam]

Maybe I should asked in my OP “if anyone experienced a similar situation”. I may have gotten carried away with my emotions but I don’t believe I deserved the condescending rhetoric of how a bank account/cheque works.

 

[Stephernovas]

I currently have 4 outstanding cheque’s and my account is going to take a huge hit if she cashed them all at once. It’s got me so angry that I’m thinking of canceling my up coming appointment.

Sounds like you were clearly making a statement of distress about your accnt taking a “huge hit” if she cashes them all at once. Pretty misleading if that’s not why you’re upset with her..

 

[gealach]

No where in this thread did the OP write that they are in any way a financial dunce. That was assumed, created, fictionalized, conflated, and otherwise exaggerated, through others' responses.

The OP has clarified:

At the end of the day it’s not about the money, it’s how she’s conducting business that I’m questioning.

But it's right back to the financial incontinence.

OP, sorry you're getting crapped on tonight. There is some advice interspersed among the replies that may be useful to you. Hopefully there's something there you can use.

 

[Sideways]

I don’t believe I deserved the condescending rhetoric of how a bank account/cheque works.

Yup, you absolutely didn’t.

Seems to be something about threads that involve people comparing expectations they have about their therapist, and what is/isn’t considered professional. Often seems to get people’s emotions going (like it did for you, with your OP - it’s like, “geez, this topic made me waaaay more emotional than I was expecting!”).

Don’t know why that is, just an observation.

Personally? I’d raise it with T again, maybe tell them “this isn’t working for me so i’m gonna cancel those cheques and do it this new way...”?

This is an issue for you. That’s okay. Your T doesn’t seem to have registered just how bigga deal it is for you, so it’s totally reasonable to raise it with your T again, and look for a resolution (communication skills - going beyond “This is an issue for me”, and going the extra mile to “so let’s nut it out right here and find a solution together”). That might be a good communication/trust/relationship building exercise for you and your T:)

 

[Bluejam]

Thanks @gealach for understanding & yes, there was some good that I took from the threads and there were some lessons learned as well. ?
Have yourself a good night.

 

[Bluejam]

and[/I] look for a resolution (communication skills - going beyond “This is an issue for me”, and going the extra mile to “so let’s nut it out right here and find a solution together”). That might be a good communication/trust/relationship building exercise for you and your T:)

Yes you nailed it . Money has always been a trigger for me, my T also knows it but I will explore it more with her.
Thanks for your input it was greatly appreciated.

 

[Abstract]

I suspect part of it is if it hits on concepts or things for people personally,
and I think it can be helped a lot by how we word things in the beginning.

I realise you may not have been comfortable saying all that but if you had said in your OP that money is a stressor for you and your t knows this,
if you rather approached it in a way of saying you didn't know her motivations but it bothered you,
and if you acknowledge that it didn't change the fact that you had paid for it and allocated that money for it ...
then I personally would have seen it differently and responded differently. I suspected there was something else going on but since all that was being discussed was her failure for not banking them it was hard to comment better. Especially since you seemed to be saying you would like to give up therapy because your t is bad at admin, which seemed a shame.

It was hard to work with what was said as there didn't seem to be any acknowledgement of your responsibilities or of other stuff going on. Im not sure the nature of your stressors/trigger around money but depending on that it might even help working with her to feel differently about something like this. Therapy can often bring up stuff we can use to help change other things. Hope you manage to sort it out regardless. Not judging the way it was written by the way. I certainly find it hard to get the stuff out of my head onto the page.

 

[blackemerald1]

@Bluejam - I wasn't dumping on you. I get it. I don't like it when businesses delay their banking.

@Stephernovas - I was joking about having moneee :)

 

[Stephernovas]

@Bluejam - I wasn't dumping on you. I get it. I don't like it when businesses delay their banking.

@Stephernovas - I was joking about having moneee :)

I know lol

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Because your bank account looks like you have a million dollars in it but in reality it only has 34 cents?

That's called properly balancing a check book. I never, ever, EVER go off of what's in my checking account. I go off of my budget. If I paid XYZ 6 times then XYZ is taken off the amount 6 times thus I actually have ABC in my checking account because this, this, and this has been paid (pending still or not). I also minus off that paycheck check's budget (pending needs to be paid) and I often take my banking account balance, minus what has been paid but pending and what still needs to be paid and ensure I am still on budget or something gets moved around. I also save at least $300 out of a paycheck because one paycheck doesn't cover rent let alone food, gas and odds and ends those 2 weeks (I get paid every 2 weeks). Guess what? That $300 is deducted off top because I know I need it.

It's called good budgeting. Many videos out there can help if one needs help in it.