Chest Tube Memory

[Christian Price]

This flashback has been the most acute in so far I have the physical sensation. It started at 5:00 in the morning. My body always starts twitching. I could feel my foot twitching and it woke me up and there is the flash of light. Its the muzzle flash; before the report of the rifle and the gun report roars through my body.

I feel the chest tube insertion. The feeling is still in my body. I can feel that spear thing being jammed into my side; I wanted to strike out at my wife sleeping next to me because when they were inserting it they had to hold me down it was that frightening. I had been shot in the chest approximately 90 minutes prior and had lost a great deal of blood but the chest tube insertion caused me to put up a fight; they were stabbing my side. My skin actually jumped at the insertion scars.

These flashbacks feel like seizures. Once the worst of it had past; I had a terrible taste in my mouth and my head felt groggy. I come downstairs and trying to make some coffee, the smell of it makes me feel secure and it me again.

 

[Kaii]

I remember the first emergency chest tube insertion I ever saw. It was years ago when I was a student nurse. The memory of the patient screaming still haunts me. I wish you peace.

 

[Christian Price]

By far the most painful thing I've ever had done to me. I used to be a nurse as well, and I remember doing my clinical through an ER and I thought I was going to pass out when I saw the instrument. I had this attack at 5:00 AM, still can not shake the flank pain. I see my MD for the first time, it is my hope she will prescribe something for these pains. I am taking well above the recommended motrin trying to take the bite out of this and its not touching it.

 

[healing_now]

The thought occurred to me as I was reading your post is to just face what's going on. Write about it, tell the memory that you understand and try to truly face the fear, the pain. The flashback is almost like your mind is trying to say "Please listen to what I have to say". I've found that when I face the flashback head on and even change it to be a positive thing in some way that my flashbacks almost seemed to give up. I haven't had a flashback since. Even when my PTSD came back for a different kind of abuse I still didn't experience flashbacks. I sincerely wish you luck and I pray that you'll heal soon.