Childhood Child abuse/aggression

[white hyacinth]

I came across a photo of a girl I was friends with when I was little, and remembered when I was 4 or 5 we were playing at her house and got angry over something stupid and I bit her finger nail off. Yeah, I know, that's pretty bad. I'm pretty sure she had to go to the hospital afterwards. Looking back I feel really bad about it, why the hell did I do that? I know I was angry but I don't know why I did THAT. I know that was around the age I was probably sexually abused (not by her, just to make that clear,) but I'm not sure if that could be related.
I am not trying to detract from what I did, because that was pretty terrible, but I'm just wondering if what I did was related to what happened to me. What I did was just SO out of proportion to the situation, and I know that some child abuse victims can have aggression issues, but I thought that was limited to physical abuse victims. The only other time I can think of when I was violent as a small child was when I got my wisdom teeth removed and punched a nurse, but I was on drugs and the nurse told my mom that it happens all the time. Nowadays I'm frequently angry and sometimes throw things, but I'm not violent towards others. I didn't really get into physical fights and stuff growing up.

My questions for anyone who feels like answering is:
1) Did you ever act out violently, in your childhood, around the time you were abused? Or did you become violent later on?
...and if you feel comfortable answering:
2) Was the abuse you endured physical, sexual, or emotional?

 

[Gamereign555]

I was emotionally abused and neglected as a child really young. I was withdrawn and not speaking. I underwent some kind of therapy where they hand you a bat and will let you go to town on a dummy. I guess I really let him have it.

Growing up and it was really noticeable by my late teens and early 20s, I had trouble relating to people and socializing with them. I had a lot of friends but I wasn't really involved in the head. I had issues forming any sort of romantic relationships, expressing myself and saying how I truly felt. But I did get over that. It was as if I had to break through some kind of barrier.

I never really got into fights and held in my emotions. I would occasionally get angry when I was by myself and trying to perform a task and maybe it didn't go as well as I want which would cause me to be hard on equipment or maybe I would punch a wall or snap and yell at someone who is completely caught off guard by it.

I swear even now in my mid 30s I feel like I'm still practicing how to be a normal person. But I think I'm well on my way. Or maybe I'm there and I'm just not perfect. Still, I feel I've made great strides in the past 15 years.

 

[Kopykat]

As a kid I was emotionally abused and neglected a lot, occasionally physically abused for punishment. I was a very anxious kid and incredibly nervous and stressed around people especially adults. I was very quiet in public and at school. I was too terrified to say anything or draw attention to myself.

At home, when my brother babysat me, I was not quiet , I screamed and fought w him. He was 7 years older and had over 100 lbs on me and I was beat up often and I was blamed for it often.

As a teenager I developed severe depression, still have it, and had a lot of anger that my parents just ignored. I remember screaming I was going to kill my self a few times and nothing.

I don’t have so much anger anymore but I’m still trying to figure out my memories, the memory loss, ptsd and depression. And as the previous poster said I’m in my 30s and still feel like I’m trying to figure out how to be a functioning human.

I’ve been in therapy awhile but sometimes it feels like problems “Whack-a-mole” and gets frustrating.