Freespirited
New Here
I was raised in a Christian Fundamentalist cult that was very similar to Jehovah's witnesses. My father molested me and beat me with a board from a very young age. My mother did some things too. Additionally I was abused by other members of the church and was repeatedly raped by a PE teacher at the Christian School when I was nine. My mother secretly bullied me when no one was around.
I wasted my life with abusive men and now I know why. I never recognized the red flags, because being mistreated felt normal to me. I always thought that I was the problem.
I ended up in a relationship with an active addict in AA who worked as a substance abuse counselor and presented himself as "a pillar of the community". It was an abusive relationship and I stayed with him for 2 years. My sponsor at the time encouraged me to stay with him because she thought he was Mr. Wonderful. She was angry at me when I left him, and we had a falling out.
I ended up going back to my parents house because I had no where else to go after I left him. I have now been here for a year and I did not expect to stay here this long. I am having some serious back problems, causing extreme pain and numbness below the waist and I am physically unable to work full-time now. My mother continues on her life-long campaign to convince me I had a wonderful childhood. My dad leaves me alone now.
I am working on solutions. I've been waiting on disability for over a year now. I've applied for housing. I've signed up for services at the local Csb. I do feel isolated. I don't feel much support in AA. Although I'm over 3 years sober now, people are still talking down to me like I'm a noob. I don't have a sponsor anymore. They keep getting ultra-bossy with me so I fire them after a few days. There are a lot of toxic people in AA too. Old men trying to bed the young ladies. It happens all the time, and when I bring up the issue at a meeting, the old men just laugh at me and claim that the women do it too. I'm just so pissed. I'm really not doing anything wrong yet people keep treating me like I am always doing something wrong.
Would be nice to be able to talk to people who have been through what I've been through and can just be loving and supportive without being judgmental. There are no support groups I know of in my state for cult survivors, and I've always felt estranged. Thanks for reading. I hope I make some friends.
I wasted my life with abusive men and now I know why. I never recognized the red flags, because being mistreated felt normal to me. I always thought that I was the problem.
I ended up in a relationship with an active addict in AA who worked as a substance abuse counselor and presented himself as "a pillar of the community". It was an abusive relationship and I stayed with him for 2 years. My sponsor at the time encouraged me to stay with him because she thought he was Mr. Wonderful. She was angry at me when I left him, and we had a falling out.
I ended up going back to my parents house because I had no where else to go after I left him. I have now been here for a year and I did not expect to stay here this long. I am having some serious back problems, causing extreme pain and numbness below the waist and I am physically unable to work full-time now. My mother continues on her life-long campaign to convince me I had a wonderful childhood. My dad leaves me alone now.
I am working on solutions. I've been waiting on disability for over a year now. I've applied for housing. I've signed up for services at the local Csb. I do feel isolated. I don't feel much support in AA. Although I'm over 3 years sober now, people are still talking down to me like I'm a noob. I don't have a sponsor anymore. They keep getting ultra-bossy with me so I fire them after a few days. There are a lot of toxic people in AA too. Old men trying to bed the young ladies. It happens all the time, and when I bring up the issue at a meeting, the old men just laugh at me and claim that the women do it too. I'm just so pissed. I'm really not doing anything wrong yet people keep treating me like I am always doing something wrong.
Would be nice to be able to talk to people who have been through what I've been through and can just be loving and supportive without being judgmental. There are no support groups I know of in my state for cult survivors, and I've always felt estranged. Thanks for reading. I hope I make some friends.
