DID Child parts behavior

[Punky143]

This is going to be embarrassing to write because no one knows about it and I'm embarrassed and ashamed of it. I have many parts all different ages. One of them being 2 years old. That being said, she's not potty trained therefore has to wear pull-ups. Urgh. If she has an accident, she feels like she's naughty and fears getting in trouble with the dad. Then there's talking between her and a motherly part who tells her it's ok and protects the part from getting in trouble.
Now you can see why it's super embarrassing. Does anyone else have anything similar to this? And why does it happen?

 

[Teamwork]

If you have any access to the child, train her. If not ask another to bring her up to date with the body. It may take a bit of time but because the body already knows how to do it the child part can accept it and move in to it but a bit differently. It doesn’t sound like I explained that very well but some parts can also be taught to go to sleep, or stay in so that they get heard from the inside but don’t actually use the body. Some people experience problems with adult things and younger parts and it always goes back to internal communication. the more you can communicate or as they say, send messages inside the more parts begin to get present with the current ages and stages of the body but also the rules on being in or out and not doing certain things. Inside parts who are 12 would be told not to be out if driving a car was happening, is another example. I hope i understood your dilemma well enough?

 

[Sideways]

How are your trust levels going with your little? Building that up? You can let little know that (a) she doesn’t need to be in charge anymore, because she can rely on you to keep her safe and meet her needs; then (b) other parts are going to be able to do this task moving into the future.

For me trust was key. Because I did have a little try and take control while I was driving once, because she was distressed, and I hadn’t addressed that before getting behind the wheel.

You’re a constant child care worker, right? You have a 2 year old that lives inside you that you need to constantly keep comfortable and safe. She doesn’t have a seperate body to you, so when you’ve established trust, and she stops taking over, you can be as in charge of toiletting for your body as any other person.

It is embarrassing. I totally get that. But we roll with it, we learn to keep the whole of ourselves feeling safe, heard, getting their needs met. That way we can function in our one body as well as anyone else:)

 

[whiteraven]

I'm sorry you're struggling with this, @Punky143. I've not had the exact same issue, but I do have a younger one who used to come out and sit on the floor (like, in the middle of work). She doesn't do that anymore - stopped a long time ago - and I'd say that developing trust and communication with her was key to helping her with her behavior. I also solicited the help of another young one, who keeps the first occupied and gives her an important job - teaching her how to read.

I understand how embarrassing this is for you. I know you can work with it, though, so you can help her (and help you, in the process). Oh, and by the way, try to let go of the shame. You don't deserve it and it won't serve you well.

 

[Punky143]

I'm sorry you're struggling with this, @Punky143. I've not had the exact same issue, but I do have a younger one who used to come out and sit on the floor (like, in the middle of work). She doesn't do that anymore - stopped a long time ago - and I'd say that developing trust and communication with her was key to helping her with her behavior. I also solicited the help of another young one, who keeps the first occupied and gives her an important job - teaching her how to read.

I understand how embarrassing this is for you. I know you can work with it, though, so you can help her (and help you, in the process). Oh, and by the way, try to let go of the shame. You don't deserve it and it won't serve you well.

Thank you