Sufferer Childhood Abuse & Complex Ptsd With A Side Order Of Complicated Grief

[DzazterQueenXoX]

Hey everyone.
I'm new here - after searching online for multiple support groups, I finally settled on this page. Surprising right? No, not really. It seems legit. So I can't complain too much.

I just figured I would introduce myself and get my back story out of the way, and maybe ask if anyone has any coping strategies? Or what kinds of therapy worked?

First and foremost, I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of my father. He started when I was about 9 and it went until a month after my sixteenth birthday when I finally was able to move out of the house. I survived - thank god for that, but it still haunts me even after being away from him for ten years (I turned 26 yesterday).

Then, when I was 17, I had my first child with a boyfriend from high school who turned out to be emotionally abusive and basically tried to change everything about me. My son died while he was with his father in Alberta on December 21, 2014, and I have been dealing with that ever since. It seems to have made all of my PTSD symptoms worse, not to mention the panic attacks that I deal with.

That's my back story. Just a short intro.

Thanks for reading <3

 

[sedna]

Hi DzazterQueen, I'm glad you found this forum. It' is legit and its a good place to find supposrt at anytime when you need it.

Thats a lot of trauma in your life your dealing with, I'm so sorry about the loss of your son.

The main thing that I can suggest as a person with complex ptsd myself is to avoid certain types of therapy approaches. Many well meaning therapists just dont understand what long term abuse mixed with sudden severe traumas do to your coping mechanisms. They try to get into emotions and memories that arent necessary.

If you are needing to handle day to day life better and build healthy coping strategies its not a good time to have somebody getting into your childhood memories. A lot of them think the only way to heal is to talk about all your trauma and get the emotions out, it can have the opposite effect and retraumatize you if you're not stable while you're doing it. Dont be afraid to put your foot down about that or find a different therapist is they dont respect it

Whatever you deal with for one hour in their office is going home with you and staying in your mind all week, they often dont understand what that really means to us.

If its at all possible to find an in person support group for grieving parents that might help with your loss, there may be a good one online for that too. Sometimes it helps to separate the traumas and deal with them individually.

I hope you find people and forums here that help you, its a genuine group.

 

[Ka-9]

Welcome, and a sincere thank you for sharing

 

[Nevermore]

@DzazterQueenXoX
I love your forum name even though I have no idea what it means.
I'm really sorry about your son. That's one of the worst griefs if all griefs, to lose your own child.
I lost my partner in a pretty horrific way and complicated grief was my first diagnosis, but I always kind of knew it was more like the final straw.
I'm glad you found this forum. Welcome!

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Welcome to the forums :hug: I hope this place helps you. It's very useful because of the bulk amount of people who feel similar and understand. There is a lot of advice and support to be found here :) I hope that this amazing community helps you as much as it helped me, reading all the similar stories, and learning a lot along the way. Hugs if you accept :hug:

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome to the forum. :hug: