Since starting therapy about 6 months ago I’ve been remembering a lot of strange symptoms I had during childhood. I’m not really sure what to make of any of it. I’m wondering if any of these things could possible point toward some repressed trauma. As i’m Setting out to type this i’m realizing that almost all of these problems occurred during night/sleep time.
I was an extremely anxious child. I remember constantly being afraid that someone was going to kidnap or murder me and would often spend time awake at night worrying that someone would break in my window and hurt me.
While laying awake with these fears, I remember on so many occasions I would hear either someone calling my name, or I would hear breathing. I always tried to convince myself that the breathing was just coming from my parents room, but it always sounded to me as if it was coming from under my bed. I would lay there paralyzed in fear, eyes shut, body frozen, just praying that I would fall asleep so I didn’t have to hear those things anymore and so that I would be asleep and not scared if something bad were to happen to me.
Then there are the nightmares. There’s one specifically that I had all throughout my childhood that filled me with the deepest sense of fear I’d ever felt. The content of the dream wasn’t even all that scary. It always started out that I was in a room filled with stuffed animals with my cousin, then the sense of fear would come out of nowhere, things would go dark, and it was as if I was floating through space. All sorts of things would be floating by me, but it always ended with a knife and then a male relative’s face, then everything would go black at once and I’d wake up terrified.
I still have a lot of the same anxiety problems, but haven’t had many auditory hallucinations since childhood and haven’t had the dream since childhood (I think, possibly in my early teen years?).
Anyway...I’m not really sure where I am going with this. Are these just normal childhood anxieties, or could they point to something more serious?
I was an extremely anxious child. I remember constantly being afraid that someone was going to kidnap or murder me and would often spend time awake at night worrying that someone would break in my window and hurt me.
While laying awake with these fears, I remember on so many occasions I would hear either someone calling my name, or I would hear breathing. I always tried to convince myself that the breathing was just coming from my parents room, but it always sounded to me as if it was coming from under my bed. I would lay there paralyzed in fear, eyes shut, body frozen, just praying that I would fall asleep so I didn’t have to hear those things anymore and so that I would be asleep and not scared if something bad were to happen to me.
Then there are the nightmares. There’s one specifically that I had all throughout my childhood that filled me with the deepest sense of fear I’d ever felt. The content of the dream wasn’t even all that scary. It always started out that I was in a room filled with stuffed animals with my cousin, then the sense of fear would come out of nowhere, things would go dark, and it was as if I was floating through space. All sorts of things would be floating by me, but it always ended with a knife and then a male relative’s face, then everything would go black at once and I’d wake up terrified.
I still have a lot of the same anxiety problems, but haven’t had many auditory hallucinations since childhood and haven’t had the dream since childhood (I think, possibly in my early teen years?).
Anyway...I’m not really sure where I am going with this. Are these just normal childhood anxieties, or could they point to something more serious?
